I Can't Wait Until Father Sees You.
Draco walked up to his father's cell, giving him an emotionless look. "You sent for me?" he asked impatiently. "I am trying to study you know."
"I want you to find your brother," Lucius said bitterly. "I want him here by the end of this summer."
Draco nearly leaned against the bars of the cell but decided against it since they were slimy and nasty. "Why would you want him?" he sneered. "To witness your final downfall?"
"To get me out of here since you haven't," he sneered back. "You will find your brother for me or I will make it so you are robbed of the family fortune and it all goes to Adonis."
Draco snorted. "If you want to face down Aunt Anastasia or Aunt Merwyn, go right ahead," he said dryly. "That makes you the more stupid man in my book." He leaned closer. "I would have said brave, but I find most brave men stupid." He stood up again. "I don't need the family fortune, I can still marry very well. What would I need that for?"
Lucius stood up and walked closer. "What makes you think someone would take you without the fortune, boy?" he hissed. "You are nothing without it. A pompous and arrogant little boy."
"With skills, good grades, and a beautiful face and body," Draco reminded him dryly. "I've already had offers you know. Many of them foreign so I can get past your incredibly noxious reputation." Lucius reached for him but he backed away. "You know better," he sneered. "No touching the innocent, they'll get you for that again." He crossed his arms. "What do I get if I find Adonis?" At the very least he'd get to do some light traveling while looking for the brother he had never met.
"Your hide being intact when he gets me out of here."
"If he gets you out of here," Draco corrected. "The last time I heard, there's been no other Malfoys in any of the magic academies in the world. I checked during my first year to try and find him." His father glared at him. "Fine, where is he? I'll go after the end of my year."
Draco gaped at him for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Did you never read the elementary dark arts book you assigned to me in my tenth year? You sent my brother to the bloody Hellmouth to live?" Lucius looked clueless. "Mystical convergence of power? First year dark arts class?" he said impatiently. "You sent my brother to the haven of demons and vampires. Are you sure he's still alive?"
Lucius pulled a braided lock of hair out of his pocket and handed it over. "That is his. You can trace him using it." He went back to his bunk. "Find your brother and bring him here to me. I will have his help in this situation."
"Fine, Father, but if I get eaten, I'm breaking in here to torture and kill you." He turned and stomped off, going back to the school via the floo system. He signed himself back in then went up to his dorm to find his liquor stash. The pint of firewhiskey was a welcome thing. He looked over, pausing in his drinking when his flunkies walked in. "What?" he demanded.
"How's your father?" Goyle asked, sitting beside him. "Is he all right?"
Draco let out a bitter laugh. "Ever hear the phrase 'the heir and the spare'?" Both boys nodded. "I'm the spare actually. I've been assigned to find my older brother. On the hellmouth no less because my father's a fucking imbecile." He took another drink then put it away. "Other than that, he's living. Grungy, nasty, and filthy, but still living. Unfortunately." He leaned back against his pillows. "I'll be heading off this summer."
"You'll need to study some more dark arts spells," Crabbe said, trying to be optimistic. "I wish I could go, but my Ma won't let me. I know she won't." Thankfully.
Draco waved a hand. "I'll be fine. They've got a slayer there now. I heard the Dark Arts teacher telling the fourth years about her." He looked at Goyle. "Why are you sitting on my bed?" He stood up and Draco stretched out. "Do you have today's notes?" They handed them over. "Wonderful, more potions nastiness. Will the man never stop giving us things that Longbottom can make explode?" he asked as he flicked something off the notes for Potions. He looked at them, then raised an eyebrow. "Did you need something else?"
"Professor Snape wanted to hear from you as soon as you got back," Goyle said firmly. "He said he will or he'll pounce you after dinner and make you sorry."
Draco stood up with a small sigh. "Then I'd best see him now. He probably has books I'll need to reference for my trip. I've never apparated halfway around the world before." He walked out, heading down to his teacher's office. He tapped gently on the painting and it let him in. "You told them you wanted to see me?" he asked insolently.
Professor Snape looked the boy over. "I see you made it back." He stood up, looking at the young sixth year. "What did he assign you to do?"
"My brother," he said dryly. "He wants his help."
Snape laughed. "Your brother is not capable of that."
"Father said often enough he was the stronger one. The last time he said so I told him he should have kept him but he muttered something about him being...problematic?" He made it a question, hoping for more information.
Snape gave the young man a look. "Your brother was born like your Aunt Merwyn."
"A woman?" he asked sarcastically.
"A brunette," Snape answered in the same tone. "He wanted to avoid remarks on possible cheating by his wife." He turned around, going back to his desk. "Where is he?"
Snape paused, then looked back at him. "Indeed?" The boy was still there? Draco nodded and held up the hair bundle. "Then I have books you'll need." He went to his personal and locked shelves, pulling down three books. "I will have these back by this weekend. Find and copy whatever you need." Draco nodded, taking the thick and heavy tomes. "Be careful with them, they are rather delicate and ancient," he sneered. "Anything else?"
"Father wants Adonis to help him break out."
Snape snorted. "I wish him many happier delusions then. Dismissed. Make your potion and hand it in when you bring back those books." Draco nodded and left, and Snape had a good laugh at his former friend's expense. "Was he that dumb to send his own son to that town?" he asked the empty room. "No wonder The Dark Lord likes him, he's stupid enough to be led blindly. I thought they had moved there." He sat down, going back to his grading, letting his amusement show as he took extra points off a Hufflepuff's essay on moss and its many uses.
Draco steeled himself for the apparation, closing his eyes. It would take a while this time. He had his wand in his hand and his school bag was full of supplies he might need. He cast the apparation charm and flinched when he took off, landing a few minutes later. He shook his head to clear it, dizzy beyond belief. He looked around, noticing he was in a cheery park with trees that were trimmed into shapes. He grunted in annoyance at the sun. "Why is it so bloody bright?" he groused as he pulled out the lock of hair and cast a location charm. It led him out of the park and to a small magic shop. Nothing like what he was used to he discovered, there were muggle things in there as well. He gave the wizard behind the counter a harsh look for it. "Where is Adonis Malfoy?" he demanded.
"Who?" the owner, Giles, asked. "I've never heard that name."
Draco put the hair away. "His taint is on these premises and I was sent to retrieve him. He is around here, no matter what name he now goes by." He looked over as someone walked in, giving the witch a long look, then a sneer. "You get sent here for bad behavior?" he asked dryly.
Anya looked at him, then shook her head. "No, I choose to live here. What are you doing here, little boy?"
"Looking for my unfortunately misplaced brother. Adonis Malfoy." She shrugged and went into the office. He looked at Giles again. "He would be a brunette and look somewhat like me," he said impatiently. "I'd like to gather him and leave before something evil happens to me as well. I'm sure he's been tainted by this town but our father wishes to speak with him."
"Then your father can take a flying leap," a cool voice said from the stock area, coming out. "This way, boy." Draco gave him a look, then a slow smirk. "Now." Draco walked that way and the boy shut the door behind him before punching him in the nose. "Do not use my birth name around here," he ordered. "I am not a Malfoy, nor have I ever been." He crossed his arms. "Why did he send you?"
Draco used his wand to heal himself. Then he straightened up, making sure he was out of touching range. "Father has summoned you to see his greatest defeat and surrender. He's in Azkaban." The boy shrugged, then looked clueless. "The wizard's prison?" he prompted. The boy shrugged again. "Tell me my father's first heir isn't a squib," he said bitterly. "And he thought you were more powerful than me?"
"I'm not, but I don't need it," Xander told him calmly. "Why would I?" Draco gaped at him. "Now, get on your little broom and fly off before the bad things come to get you. I'm not sure if you're human enough to not get eaten by the slayer's pet vampire or not, but I can easily find the others in town." He pointed at the back door. "Go that way so you don't bother Giles again."
Draco gave him an amused look. "I'm under orders to bring you back for a bit. Whether or not you like it. Otherwise Father has threatened to make you the only heir while I find a more agreeable family to marry into. If you'll set the floo, we can be back by tomorrow. That way none of your precious witches and wizards know who you really are."
Xander let out a long, loud laugh. "You can't floo from the Hellmouth! You can't apparate out of it either!" he said at Draco's horrified look. "Did you apparate in?" The boy nodded. "Then you're fucked. Looks like you're traveling back the hard way, Draco."
Draco swallowed, not liking the thought of being forced to travel by muggle means at all. How long would that take? Probably months! "I have to be back at school in eight weeks," he said bitterly.
"Not my problem," Xander said happily. "I can get you to LA, you might be able to apparate from there after a few days of being tainted by their magic." Draco nodded. "I'm not going with you though."
Draco shook his head. "I have my orders."
"Tough. Tell him I refused and I don't want anything from him. There is a single wizard I admire and not even *he* could get me to see the sperm donor. Now leave, before I have to get upset. Bad things happen when I do that, even though I never really try."
"You gave up your magic," Draco said, shocked. Xander nodded. "Why the bloody hell did you do something so fucking dumb in this town! You could have died! Then I'll be stuck being the Malfoy heir!"
"It's not like it's helpful in my life," Xander told him. "Yeah, it'd be easier to slay with it, but yay. Not needing the extra stress in my life. Now, go." He made shooing motions. "I'll have Anya drive you to LA."
"No. You have to come back. I want to see Father's face when he hears that." He smirked at him. "It'll bloody well kill him and free my ass."
"Why would Daddy Dearest care?" Xander sighed.
"Because he wants you to break him out of the wizard's prison so he can go back to the Dark Lord's side," he said, giving him a smug look. "I can't wait to tell him about this."
Xander snickered, then shook his head. "Irony's a bitch. Here, I go by the name Alexander Lavelle Harris, not Adonis Leyvis Malfoy." Draco gaped at him again, starting to whimper. "That's right, friend of the Slayer." He grinned, then opened the door. "Hey, Giles. Is Ethan still in town? I've got someone who needs to meet him. Apparently he's not been spreading my likeness with my name when he shudders in horror."
"No," Giles said firmly, giving him a look. "What is going on?"
"I'm adopted and the sperm donor wants to see me," he said dryly. "Wanna go back to the homeland with me?"
"No, the Watchers might want to see you however," he said, giving him a look. "You're a Malfoy?"
Xander nodded, walking out. "First son." He smirked at him. "He sent me here to be raised."
"Did the man not study?" Anya snorted.
Draco strolled out. "Apparently not. He gave me a book with a whole chapter on this town at the age of nine and had me read it before I went to school. Apparently his father never did the same for him." He gave his brother's back a disgusted and horrified look. In the darkness it had almost looked decent but in the bright light it was rather hideous and bright. "What are you wearing?"
"Clothes. It's the polite thing to do around other humans," Xander quipped dryly, rolling his eyes when Anya nodded her agreement with Draco. "Get off the topic of my clothes, Anya, or I'm dying all of yours orange."
"Then you'll be buying me new ones," she told him. He shook his head. "Yes, you will, just like you'll be buying me new pajamas because of the pair you ripped off me last night, Xander."
Xander snorted. "It was all in a good cause," he told her, grinning at her. She smiled back. He looked at Giles. "We've got to get him somewhere he can apparate."
"Send him to Angel," Anya suggested.
"That's what I was thinking," Xander agreed.
"And you're coming, correct?" Draco said coolly.
Xander looked back at him. "I gave up my magic, Draco. Why would I apparate?" Draco groaned and shook his head. "I gave it up a long time ago. Sure, it would've been handy and neat to have at times, but it's a damn lot of work. Oh, Giles, the Dark Lord came back." He gaped at him. "Should I go say hi?" he asked dryly.
"No! You're to stay away from that creature! I want your word on it, Xander! There will be no attempts at brave stupidity!"
"Oxymoron," Draco muttered. Giles glared at him. "It is. I know the hero in our world, he's the same way. Brave and stupid are synonyms." He looked at his brother. "Though, if you wanted to, I'm sure we could have you *sent* to him. Father would probably like that since he's a Death Eater himself."
Giles whimpered and shook his head. "Xander, you are staying here!"
"If I don't, I'll get forced back to the be Lord of the Manor," Xander said bitterly. "Can't you just see me doing that?" Giles gave him a horrified look. "At Malfoy Manor, with all the magic and stuff?" he prompted. Giles went pale and blindly searched for a seat. "So I'm going to go back, make fun of the biological sample giver, then come back by the end of the week. Can you get that arranged for me? Or will I have to have a passport?" he asked, looking concerned.
"Bloody hell!" Draco sighed. "Get us somewhere I can make a bloody portkey and I'll get us back to the manor." He rolled his eyes. "Wait until Mother hears about this. She'll go insane again," he muttered, heading over to sit down at a nearby table. "Will this take long? If so, he should probably find appropriate clothing as well."
"I'm fine," Xander said, giving him a bright grin. "You really don't like the shirt?" He went back to his stocking duties, snickering at the disgusted look his brother had on his face. This was the opportunity he had wanted. He wanted to have a *word* with his father about where he had stuck him.
Draco landed, stepping away from Xander. He had been making his magic go funny all day. "We're home. Go inside before someone sees you," he demanded, wincing as the shirt seemed to glow in the dim summer light. "Why me?" he asked the house, shaking his head as he walked inside. He found his Uncle Severus in the study. "We're back. He's given up magic entirely," he said in greeting. Snape gave him a cold look. "What? Did the old man die?"
"No, unfortunately not," he admitted, walking closer. "He did what?"
"My big brother willingly gave up not only his magic but doesn't have a wand, doesn't wear robes, and doesn't practice any form of spell casting or magical knowledge. He knows nothing outside of how to help his friend, the Slayer. They have a *nature witch* working on the magic there." Snape winced. "She's bloody powerful too. Gave my ass a headache." He went to the liquor bottles. Two days in Sunnydale had been more than enough for a lifetime. He'd find some other way to get Xander back to his friends. "Other family traits also missed him. He's got an odd sense of humor, he wears ugly and horrifying clothes, and he's graceless," he reported. "He's nowhere near what my father would want, and that makes him happy." He saluted him with his glass. "Expect to need some later. At least we didn't bring his friends. The Slayer wanted to come help Potter."
Snape gaped at him. "She what?"
"Her Watcher told her all about it. He's acquainted with that Rayne chap," he said, waving a hand. "Knew all about it and us. He's a minor wizard in his own right. Runs a shop that mixes muggle and magical crap together. Mostly for the other *nature* lovers." He took a long drink, then walked over to sit down. "Alexander!" he yelled.
Xander walked in and grinned. "Prof," he said happily. "Nice to see you again. How is the war going? Buffy wanted to know."
Snape sat down. "You are much different than the last time I saw you," he said dryly.
"You knew him?" Draco asked. "You didn't tell me?"
"I didn't think you'd find him," Snape said dryly, going back to looking the other young man over. "You're helping the Slayer?" Xander nodded, smirking at him. Snape burst out in laughs. "Your father will *adore* you," he said sarcastically.
"That's what I'm hoping for," Xander quipped. "Oh, Buffy wanted me to look at the Dark Lord idiot to see if you guys needed her. Can you get me in there or not?" Snape raised an eyebrow. "I promise I won't do the whole white knight thing, just some minor recon. I'll even wear a robe if I have to," he said with a shudder. "Nasty, ugly things that they are." He sat down, looking at Draco. "Alcohol is bad," he said patiently, taking down to him. "Alcohol rots your mind and makes you like the sample giver."
Draco finished his drink. "You're trying to deal with, I'm softening my homicidal urges," he said dryly. He looked at Snape. "As you can see, I found him. When can we get him to the prison so I can send him home?"
"Tomorrow," Snape told him, giving him a look. Then he looked at Xander. "Go find a room. There are many of them. Ours are locked." Xander shrugged and got up to do that. He came back in a few minutes later, holding up a struggling and wiggling house elf. "They're the servants. Let them be," he ordered calmly. Xander put it down and gave it a pat on the head before walking off again. He looked at Draco, then smiled. "I'm sure your father will be annoyed to no end," he said fondly. "And it's all his own fault. He did this even though the rest of us told him to keep the boy." He stood up, giving Draco a fond look. "Your lessons?"
"After he leaves. He seems to muck up magical things," he admitted, looking up at his mentor. "He sent the portkey off course. We landed in Africa." Snape shook his head and groaned. "In front of a native tribe and a muggle camera crew. I had to obliviate them while he played with their animals and children." Snape shuddered. "Indeed," he said fondly. "My brother is not only a squib by choice, he's a lunatic. Apparently I got all the good genes in the family." Snape gave him a sympathetic pat on the arm as he walked past him. "Make sure no one else comes up while he's here. I don't need the humiliation."
Snape nodded, knowing it was wise. Things like this ruined a young man's chances of finding a good spouse.
Xander walked up to the cell, whistling jauntily. "Daddy!" he said with a happy, yet bitter smile. "You wanted to see my muggle ass?"
Lucius looked at him, standing slowly. "Son," he said, smiling at him.
"No, that would require you to have *raised* me," he pointed out, giving him a bored look. "You wanted to see me badly enough to send your only son to the Hellmouth? I could have had him turned."
"It would have made him stronger. He is weak and greedy." Xander raised an eyebrow but he ignored it. "You will get me out of here," he ordered.
Xander snorted. "I'm what?" He laughed, shaking his head. "Father, perhaps I should introduce you to who I *really* am. I am Xander Harris, white knight to the Slayer." His father backed away, giving him a horrified look. "I'm the normal one who goes to help her fight each night. I'm also the one who willingly gave up my magic when informed of who I actually was by one of your friends. I have nothing but respect for that man, but not even he could talk me into taking up my studies. I don't want it. Yeah, it'd be handy, sure it'd even get me women by the tons, but why go to all that trouble for an image?" He shrugged. "More work than it's worth. Now, about this prison break thingy? I doubt it. That's more impossible than the sixteenth level of Frogger." Lucius whimpered. "Oh, hey, my Slayer friend, she wanted me to recon to see if she needed to come help. Who do I talk to about that?" His father groaned and grabbed his arm, crying out in pain. "Should I tell him to quit that?" he suggested dryly. "I mean, I'll be seeing him and all, so I thought I'd do one nice thing for you before I leave you here to rot, like you deserve for putting me with those people." He smiled brightly. "Then again, I wouldn't be the man I am today if you hadn't put me with the drinking, slimy, abusive muggles. So I guess I should thank you for that." He shrugged and grinned again. "Need anything else or can I go do my recon now?"
Lucius lunged, grabbing at the boy but he had stepped back. "You are not my son!" he shouted.
Xander handed over the lock of hair that Draco had given him. "The little brother said to give this back to you. He thought you might say that. He's got a bit of a migraine right now," he shared smugly. "Apparently he thinks I'm odd."
Lucius stroked the hair, activating it. Then he looked at his son, who wiggled his fingers. "No!" He threw it against a wall. "No! They did not do this to you! I will kill them!"
"From in there?" Xander asked, starting to chuckle. "Have fun with that plan, sperm donor. Have a nice rest of your life, I've got to get back to mine. Anything else you wanted to kibitz on?"
"You will break me out of here," Lucius told him, glaring at him. Xander snorted. "I will avenge your nature! You will be fixed!"
"Yay." He yawned for show. "Leaving now. Not happening, sorry." He strolled off, whistling again. He paused at another cell, looking at the occupant. "I have a picture of you," he said. "Who are yo?"
She sneered at him. "Come closer, let me tell you," she offered coldly.
"No thanks. Only demonic women want me close." He shrugged and continued on, whistling again. He nodded and smiled at the guard. "The sample spurter is in a bit of a rage. You might want to spray him with cold water or give him a pill or something before he hurts himself." She gave him a tolerant look and let him out the door. "Hey, sunlight does happen over here," he said happily, taking out his portkey back to the manor. He found a lot of people in the house. "Huh." He shrugged and went to find his little brother. "Friends?"
"Yes. Go hide before they see you!"
"Too late," he said smugly. "So, when can I go do this recon?"
"Not now!" he groaned, shaking his head and walking away. "Go to your room. We'll discuss it later," he said bitterly.
Xander nodded and went up to his room, finding a woman in there. "Who're you?"
"I'm Pansy," she said, smiling at him. "You're Draco's big brother." She walked closer, running her hands up his chest. "You're much better built."
He removed her hands. "I'm also routinely loved by the demonic." She stepped back. "I'm not falling for it, nor do I want you, Pansy. No offense, but I'm engaged already to a former vengeance demon. You have nothing on her sluttishness. Bye-bye now." He opened his door and waved a hand. "Do try it on Draco, he looks like he's got a headache."
She snorted and flounced off. He slammed the door behind her so she went to find Draco. "Your brother plays with demons?"
Draco took another pouch of the headache powder. "He works with a slayer," he told her quietly. "He lives on the bloody hellmouth. They all want to kill him. His fiancé is a bitch and a slut. Any other questions refer back to him." He finished his juice and went to lay down for his head. He hoped it quit hurting. "Why are you all here again?" he asked as he walked past Goyle.
"Your mother invited us to meet your brother," he reminded him.
"He's napping. Go away. Tell my mother to take her medication." He went to his room and slammed the door, locking it firmly against everyone, unless his brother wanted to exert himself and kick it in again at an ungodly, early hour.
Downstairs, Goyle looked at their housemates and shrugged. "I don't know," he said. "Draco's got a headache."
Pansy came out of the study. "I met this wonderful brother. He's a demon lover." They all smiled at her. "He lives on the hellmouth and does some sort of judging job with the slayer. Not exactly who we thought he was. He's also not carrying a wand or wearing robes. He might even use that inefficient magic they do over there. Draco didn't say." She looked at Goyle. "Go get him, Gregory, so we may talk with him."
Goyle gave her a look. "Draco said to leave him alone. He's resting."
"Yay. He'll want to meet with us," she told him. He shrugged and went to do that. When he brought Xander down, she smiled. "We wanted to meet you formally and invite you to various functions happening shortly. Including some with the parents so they can get to know you."
"I'm going back to Sunnydale within a few days. I've only got to check on one more thing."
"Perhaps we can help?" Pansy suggested. "What did you need to do?"
"The Slayer wanted to know if the Dark Lord was going to become her problem."
The students all nodded, smiling at him. "We can help with that one," one of the boys said, giving him a smile. "Come snack with us, Adonis."
"Xander," he corrected. "I changed my name." He walked after them, he was hungry and these kids obviously knew this Dark Lord guy pretty well. He must be a big slimebag to try and recruit kids.
Professor Snape looked up from his herb gathering as a figure appeared near him. He was in the open and away from the school so this meeting could happen. All part of being a spy. "Yes, my lord?" he asked respectfully, standing up to face him. "You wanted to see me?"
"I want to meet this older Malfoy boy," he said. "Word has come back that the boy wants to meet me. Something about an alliance with the Slayer?"
Snape groaned and shook his head. "That is not what he said, my lord. He told me he was looking in on you and your loyal Death Eaters for her to see if she should join the other side. He is one of them."
Voldemort laughed. "A Malfoy? A white lighter?"
"I do not joke, my lord. He has been tainted by his existence over there. I looked in on him myself when he was ten. He has turned his back on all things magical. He is known to be a fierce demon hunter. Please, my lord, reconsider this meeting."
Voldemort shook his head. "I will still look on this boy. If he is as you say, then I will destroy him. If not, perhaps he is smart enough to take the place of Lucius." He looked at his loyal servant. "You will personally bring this boy to me tomorrow night." Snape bowed his head, nodding. "Good. My potion?"
"Is doing its last day of brewing," he admitted. "It needs to thicken farther, my lord."
"That is fine. As long as it is ready by the full moon." He apparated off.
Snape gave the empty spot a glare. "Oh, it shall be," he said dryly. "Complete with the new additions I've made. Let's see what the hair of a slayer does to you when you drink it." He went back to his gathering. He needed these. He could report later.
Xander looked up as someone walked into the kitchen, giving him a wave of his cup. "I finally found some coffee. Want some, Professor?"
"Boy, what have you done?" he demanded. "The Dark Lord wants to meet you."
"Good." He took a sip. "I need to see Ethan anyway." He shrugged and took another drink. "It can't be worse than Glory."
Snape stepped back. "You met with her?"
"No, we fought with her," Xander corrected. He put down his cup and hopped up to sit on the counter. "We fought with her this last year. We won but the Slayer sacrificed herself. Fortunately, or unfortunately depending on who you are, the Slayer was raised again so we didn't all die in her memory." Snape gaped at him. "I wanted to talk to you anyway. I've got a rogue nature witch in my town. I don't deal with the magic stuff. You do."
"There is no cure for that," he said simply.
"Locking her up?"
Snape gave him a long look. "You saw the facility yesterday."
"Oh." He grimaced. "Never mind then. We'll deal with Willow as it happens." He picked up his coffee to sip some more of it. "I've faced down succubus, demons, vampires, and a Hell God. One bad wizard isn't any worse than any of them. And plenty of them have wanted to kill me," he admitted at the shocked look.
"You do this without magic?"
"Yeah. Not really wanting it, as I told you."
"It would be an asset," Snape noted dryly.
"Perhaps, but I doubt you can help me cram a lifetime of learning into today. I'm leaving tomorrow. It'll only get in the way at home." He finished his coffee and poured some more. "This heating thing is not working very well."
He walked over and used his wand to warm it. "There. We will talk about what will happen." The boy looked at him. "He will kill you, he has said so." Xander shrugged. "You're not concerned?"
"Others have tried, I figured someone would some day," he said calmly. "You don't help a slayer without dealing with death." He sipped his new cup then waved his hand in front of his mouth. "Hot. Too hot. McDonald's coffee." He let it cool before taking another sip. "Can you get Ethan there?" Snape nodded. "Good. Otherwise someone's going to be really pissed at the both of you for binding my magic when I asked."
"He was taken and forced to help," Snape admitted.
"That's fine. I have a prior claim. The slayer will need him to counter Willow." He took another careful sip.
"If he believes your story, he will kill you," Snape repeated.
"Then he'd better bring a big boot to kick me with. My butt is tougher than it looks." He smirked. "Relax, Professor, this isn't my first bad guy, just a really annoying and kill- happy one. Like a living vampire, only he kills for fun." He hopped down, taking his coffee with him. "Come get me when it's time."
"You'll have to change," Snape told him. Xander looked at him. "He will expect you to be presentable."
"Then he'd better lower his expectations. I didn't bring much else."
Snape frowned and stunned the boy, taking him and his coffee back to his house to properly attire him and make the boy see reason. He couldn't go in there like he was, he would die and then Draco would be forced to take the Dark Mark. He would not have that for his boy.
Xander gave the man on the throne a long look, then shrugged. "Okay, you've got scales. Did that hurt when you did it to yourself?"
Voldemort laughed in the stunned silence. "No one has ever dared ask me that question before. You are a Malfoy."
"Yes, it's an unfortunate birth defect." He crossed his arms. "You wanted to meet me. Speak. That way I can go home. I've got patrol the night I get back."
The Dark Lord looked over the boy. "Did Severus dress you?" he asked with some amusement.
Xander nodded. "He didn't think my hawaiian shirt was good enough. Something about proper behavior," he said with a head shake and a shrug. "He expected me to act like the sperm donor and I'm clearly not. Now, give. Why did you want to see me?"
"You made mention of wanting to meet me, boy."
"Yeah, so my slayer knows whether or not she needs to jump in. That whole Glory thing really took it out of her. Then she died and came back." He grinned. "I've heard you understand that though."
Voldemort stood up, walking down to face the boy down. "I do," he agreed. "Where was she?"
"She said heaven. She earned it," he said smugly. "An apocalypse or two each year. Should I set up a meeting?"
He walked around the boy. "Your magic is bound," he stated.
"Yeah," he snorted. "Why do I want that weakness in me?" Everyone backed away from him and Xander turned to look at the stunned bad guy. "What makes you think I want that sort of problem in my life? Much less than I want the hassle of studying, hoarding herbs and books, or of hiding myself. I don't need that in my life. I have enough without it. I'm a demon magnet. Ask Ethan." He grinned suddenly, tipping his head to the side. "Actually, we need him back in Sunnydale. The witch who raised the Slayer is in over her head. May I please take him with me?" Voldemort gaped. "What? You expected me to be raised on the hellmouth by people who could care less that I existed and live up to my biological relative's ideal type? I'm not a Malfoy by more than birth. I could care less about anything that the Malfoys have. I have a spot. It's with my Slayer. It's being the demon magnet I am." Someone in the back shouted. "Oops, sorry. Vampire? Here, vampy-vampy-vampy. Come on, I've got a nice pint of blood for you," he called. It growled and lunged at him so he grabbed the nearest wand, the Dark Lord's, and used it as a stake before handing it back. "Sorry 'bout that, but it was necessary. I don't like letting them live."
Voldemort sat on his throne again. "You fight for the side of good?" he asked finally.
Xander looked at him and nodded. "Usually. There was that vampire me in that other realm but I doubt you'd like him much better." He pasted an interesting look on his face. "What makes you think any Malfoy is going to follow you? Lucius didn't raise Draco either." People moved farther away from him. "I'd be really sweet and nice when you go to tempt him. He seems like the sort flattery works on." He blinked a few times. "Are we done? I'm tired and I still need to gather up Ethan. As the slayer demands, I do."
Voldemort looked at his dusty wand, wiping it off on his robes. Then he pointed it at the boy. "Cruicio." Nothing happened. He scowled. "Why are you not screaming for my pleasure!" he demanded.
Xander yawned. "Hellmouth. Raised from near-birth?" he suggested. "Magic all goes funny around me. That's why a love spell made everyone *but* the one girl I wanted come after me." More people gaped at him. "You're going to have to have a bigger foot to kick my butt, sorry. Wanna try again?"
Voldemort sneered. "Imprison him. We'll do this the old-fashioned way."
Xander pulled out a hand grenade, waving it. "Try. I drop this and you all go boom and land in little pieces. I packed it, I didn't think the magical traveling security guards were gonna check my bag and I was right." Most everyone ran, leaving him and Snape with the Dark Lord. "Now. You had Professor Snape bring me here. It's not his fault. It's mine. Don't go punishing him." He snapped his free fingers. "Oh, yeah, dad was writhing in pain because of his arm. Do you really need to punish him for not studying? I mean, not something he can really fix from in there, dude." He pulled the pin and handed it to Snape. "Press the lever," he ordered in a whisper. "It won't go off until you let it go. When you let go, you've got a five-count to disappear. It goes off at ten." He strolled off, finding where they had Ethan chained easily. It was the only room with standing guards. "Morning. He sent me to collect Ethan for a quick trip to hell and back." He breezed past them, noticing they were dumb and staring ahead like statues. He walked in and looked at the chains. "Keys?" he asked. Ethan moaned as he looked up. "Keys?" he prompted again. Ethan shook his head so he walked over, touching him on the neck, one hand on each side. "Draw from me," he ordered gently. "We need you to stop Willow." Ethan gave him a look. "Do it now, Rayne, unless you want to stay. I left Snape with a hand grenade and clammy hands." Ethan nodded and chanted quietly, drawing some of the boy's energy to undo the chains. He fell limply into Xander's hands. "Okay. Let's use that neat portkey thingy." He pulled it out, noticing it wasn't tingly. "Blocked. Okay then." He drug him out, past the insensate guards, until it felt like normal again. Then he activated it, startling Draco. "Sorry, have to get him cleaned up," he offered, dragging him inside. "We need him."
Draco stared at him. "What did you do!" he demanded, following him. "Get that disgusting thing off my floor!"
"Then float his ass up the stairs for me," Xander shot back. Draco pulled his wand and did so. "Thank you." He followed at a trot. "I handed Snape the hand grenade. If he lets go and doesn't run, he'll go boom too, be a martyr. If he does, he'll survive."
"You did what to Severus!" he demanded.
"Ooh, Severus?" Xander taunted, giving him a smirk. "He told me earlier. That's why I gave it to him. So he could make that decision." He went in to help Ethan clean up, slamming the door in his little brother's face. The magical shower took a bit of figuring out but he finally got it and Ethan was allowed to wash himself. When he came out, Snape was pacing. "Let it go?" he asked as he walked past him.
"I did. He left as well." He stopped the boy. "That was foolish and completely out of character for you."
Xander gave him a look, then shifted to face him fully. "My slayer just got pulled back from heaven to finish her life working. My witch is going to hell with a magic addiction. My fiancé is a money-grubbing slut who tells everyone everything. My mentor over there is ready to run away again, leaving me with the other problems and a young teenage girl with magic. What makes you think I want Buffy to have to deal with him?" Snape gaped at him, one eyebrow going up. "I don't want to be here. This is not my world. I was forced to be here and I took the opportunity to deal with some problems. Let him come to my town and he's toast. If you guys still need help, there's a vampire in LA who's a warrior for the Powers. Call him, not us." He walked away again, going to get Ethan some food. Then they could leave in the morning and he'd have time to try and stop Willow again.
Snape looked toward the kitchen, then shook his head. "A true knight," he said bitterly. Draco looked at him as he walked in. "Your brother should have armor."
"He probably needs it with all the things that go wrong around him," he said bitterly. "Did you see the grimy thing he brought back?"
"Ethan Rayne, chaos wizard loyal to Janus," Snape said quietly. "Badly injured, yet necessary to the Dark Lord's next regeneration." Draco suddenly smiled. "Come. We must finish that potion. I want to see what happens when he imbibes the hairs I added to the mix. We'll send your brother off tomorrow." Draco nodded, following him down to the lab.
Upstairs, Xander was telling Ethan what he needed him to do. He didn't want his friends to know this about him. Not a true manipulation but a necessary one for his own peace of mind. Ethan's price was usually high, but one he could readily pay and had in the past for him.