Sisters in Ballistics.
Mortty walked into the Trace lab and gave David her best pouty face. "David, can I borrow your car for the day tomorrow? My sister's coming in and mine's in the shop."
He looked at her. "I didn't know you had a sister."
"Well, she's my cousin but we were kinda raised together," she admitted with a happy bounce. "You'll like Abby, she's just like me!"
"You mean there's two of you?" Xander joked as he came over, handing her his car keys. "Take mine. Treat it like the cranky baby it is and bring it back with gas please."
"Sure." She hugged and kissed him on the cheek. "Can we go out while she's here? She's always stuck in Fedville in DC."
"She's a Fed?" David asked.
"Uh-huh, and she's a forensics person too, the whole lab. She's way smarter than I am," she admitted happily. "If you take me and add Stan's caffeine habit, you get Abby."
"As long as it's not too dangerous," David sighed, shaking his head. "How long is she in for?"
"The whole week." She kissed him on the cheek too. "Thanks, guys. You guys are so great!" She bounced back to her lab.
"Did you just get a feeling of dread?" David asked.
"No, but I had those ancient bean burritos for breakfast," he admitted, going back to his ballistics lab.
"Why did you eat those?" he demanded. "They were in the freezer for months!"
"You ate the last of the cereal and there wasn't any pizza," Xander called. He shut the adjoining door.
"I'll go grocery shopping tonight," he told himself, making a note to pick up more cereal before his very odd spouse ended up with food poisoning. Or worse, Greg did and they had to take care of him. With his recent luck, they'd end up with Mortty and her cousin coming over to baby them both. "Hopefully Mortty can keep her from stalking Xander," he muttered as he got back to work.
Mortty squealed when she saw her sister, bouncing over to hug her. "Abby!"
"Mortty!" she squealed back, hugging her. "Oooh, it's been so long! You should come to DC!"
"I hate all the Feds. Besides, I work with a vampire hunter," she said proudly. Abby pouted. "He works with a slayer."
"Really?" She beamed at that and bounced over to get her baggage. Her bright purple bag came off and she grabbed it, following her sister to her car. "That's really nice."
"It's Xander's, mine's in the shop." She grinned at her. "He's a really nice guy but you can't go stalker on him. Everyone seems to want to and you just can't. I couldn't stand it if you went evil and what would Gibbs say?"
"Probably that I was pushing it before," she joked. She saw the SWAT van pull up and blinked as the guys piled out. "Wow."
"Mortty, don't start the car," Xander yelled as he came off. "Someone put a bomb on this level. We need you two to clear out."
"Sure, Xander." She took Abby with her, heading back to the safe area. "That was Xander."
"He's married and gay. David's kinda stuffy but he's adorable and snarky," she offered with a beam and another bounce. She called the station. "David, I love you. I just saw Xander. No, bomb. No, car bomb. With SWAT. Sure. Xander! David said if you get hurt after getting free of the radiation, he's going to kill you!"
"Tell him to quit worrying, dear, it's a simple bomb. I've seen kindergartners do better jobs."
Mortty put the phone back to her ear. "He said it's an easy squeazy bomb, David. He said he'd seen kindergartners do better. Sure." She hung up and beamed at her. "Ray said I have to come in to make sure no one was after me or you. Or possibly Xander. Everyone seems to want the Xander for some reason."
Xander leaned on the railing, looking down at them. "Don't tell her that, she'll go stalker and then David would have to kill her. Bomb's gone, let them clear the level, people." He saw a news crew. "That's my cue to scram. Love you, Mortty." He headed back to the van. "News crew," he called.
"Go ahead and hide, kid," the SWAT commander said fondly, shaking his head. "Hurry up, guys. Before he gets pounced and tries to quit again." That got a lot of heated looks at the news van's antenna, which was going up at the moment. "You guys know what Hodges said!" They hurried up on their checking. Hodges had promised to take Xander Fed if they didn't keep the press away from him.
"Found another, boss," one of his guys called.
Xander came out and headed that way. "Make sure we're getting license plates so we can notify owners and find commonalities, plus a sketch," he ordered. One of the guys nodded and took pictures of the plates then of the area showing where the car was. He got under that car, going to fix it. Once they were done, the cars would be towed to check for evidence. He wasn't on field duty today and Ray had told him he couldn't be this month. It made him a happy boy to not work the overtime. He finished taking that one apart and got it fixed, then put it carefully away from him and checked the next one, going over with a sigh to look at it. "Guys, you missed one. Either that or the box with the blinky light is something else." One of the more car-oriented guys came over to check and shook his head. "Any ideas?"
"Not a one," he admitted. "It's not GPS or an alarm." Xander nodded and got to work dismantling this one. He got the first bomb in the special carrier then got another one for this one. "Totally different box style, boss. This one's small, square, with a blinking light. Remote trigger."
"Good. I always love when we find more than we should. Check them again," he ordered. His people, embarrassed, went back to their checking, doing it again. None of them liked it when Xander showed them up. He was never smug but it still looked bad on their team if their helper showed them up. Not that he couldn't outshoot most of them, but still.
Xander finally got done with the last one and walked off shaking his head. He looked over the railing, then called Mortty's phone. "It's clear, they're going to release it. I'll drive you girls back to the station, all right?" That got a happy babble and he turned off his phone, going to get in and start the car. They came up a few minutes later and he grinned, holding out a hand. "Hi, Abby, I'm Xander."
"Hi. I'm Abby. I'm the tech for NCIS, DC."
"Cool. I'm the ballistics and part-time field and trace tech for our unit." He backed out slowly and honked at his part-time boss as he passed him. "Also on call for bombs," he admitted dryly. "If your boss is paranoid, you might wanna call him."
"Good point. Gibbs can be a bit upset when I'm threatened. Not that I was, but still." She dug out her phone and called him. "Gibbs, it's Abby. I'm okay." She beamed. "No, I'm fine. No, the car bombs were inside and I was safely outside. Sure, you have a happy day." She hung up. "I don't think he knew."
"It'll be fine. We're used to the Xander stuff around here and if he calls, Ray can explain how Xander had it well in hand, like usual," Mortty assured her happily. "They're so used to him they even made him stay away from where they were filming a movie, even though the star came in to follow him around for a few days."
"I'm glad he went with Stan the rest," Xander joked. "No one would believe some of the stuff I get into." He changed lanes and sped up. "Mortty, call David back and tell him I'm fine and on my way back so to please get me lunch?"
"Sure." She called. "Hi, David. No, he's fine. We're on our way back, he's driving us back to the station so he can come back and avoid the nasty press people, and he said he's hungry, like usual after a bomb thing. No, car bombs. Yup, hefty ones."
"And one smaller, odd device," Xander noted dryly.
"And a divorce aid bomb," she offered. "Nope, he's grinning at Abby at the moment because she's staring in awe. No, she's already called her boss so he might be calling Ray to make sure Xander had it." She giggled and hung up. "He won't warn Ray. He said Ray could use some stress since he's got a date tonight."
"Cool. I'm hoping she's as nice as he thinks she is. I'd hate to have to pull a rescue this week." Xander shrugged and turned on the radio, heading down the road happily. "Did you remember the interns are coming in tomorrow to do their day in the lab observing?"
"Yup, sure did," she sighed, looking bummed. "I hate them. They're all so smart-seeming and they're so damn dumb!" Abby nodded at that. "We were smarter."
"Yeah, but I blew up my high school and hunted for years," Xander said dryly. "We earned our spots. They'll have to too. Ooh, I heard from Calleigh. She's bringing her Prime Minister up for the con next week. Abby, are you attending?"
"Of course I am," she agreed happily. "That way I get a few extra days of vacation. Otherwise Gibbs would frown greatly because I wanted one. But hey, you can't deal with a moping DiNozzo for very long without needing a vacation. He's just so pitiful."
"Tell me about it," Mortty sighed, shaking her head. "Xander's horrible when he pouts because he and David had a fight."
"I don't pout."
"Yes you do."
"No I don't!"
"You are now," Abby offered, smiling at him. "It's gotta be nice to have openly gay people around work. I work in a semi-military complex and it's highly frowned upon."
"It is at our office too," Xander said dryly. "But no one's stupid enough to say anything to me after the last time." Mortty giggled at that and he took the correct exit. "Everyone learned after I kicked the last guy's ass," he assured her with a short grin at a red light.
"Xander can make gang kids run," Mortty said proudly.
"I don't know why, I'm a cuddly and nice guy," Xander complained. He turned right, then groaned and turned the other direction. "Sorry, home sense in the steering wheel, just like a horse."
"It probably doesn't want to deal with the cranky spouse either," Mortty joked.
"Don't remind me, David had his version of PMS this morning for breakfast," Xander moaned, turning into the station. He parked and grinned at them. "As a formality, did you see anyone in the parking garage?" They both shook their heads. "Good, go have fun. Abby, Mortty wanted us to go out with you while you were here. So tell us when. We've got Friday and Saturday off." He blew Mortty a kiss. "One scratch and you're giving David's mom the babies she's nagging us for." He got out and headed back inside, taking the lunch bag the desk sergeant held out to him with a smirk. "Husband still pissed?"
"Yup. They included Midol too, Harris."
"I'm sure that'll make him happier." He headed down the stairs, grinning at Ray. "Abby is *just* like Mortty," he said happily. "Only she's wearing a chain with a small padlock and Mortty's got on her silver chains choker that I bought her. Six car bombs, and one divorce helper remote bomb, boss. Can I have lunch now? You know bombs always make me hungry."
"Fine. You clear?"
"I have one more," he admitted, sitting down to nibble in front of the Lifetime channel in their breakroom. David came in and he tossed him the small box. "The desk sergeant said it was included and I don't need it. I'm guessing they think you're cranky." They shared a look and he grinned. "Abby is *just* like Mortty."
"I figured she was from the pictures she showed me last night. Did she go home?"
"Yup, and she'll be here for the convention too. Plus Calleigh's coming back and bringing her puppy Mackenzie."
"Okay," he agreed dryly, walking off shaking his head. He left the pills on Mortty's desk. She'd need them the next day. His problem was lack of sleep from the hyper, bouncy, cuddly Xander the day before. Plus the construction crew on their street during the day.
Mortty walked into the lab, waving a hand at Abby. "Ray, this is my sister Abby," she said proudly. "Did her boss yell at you?" she cooed at his dirty look. He nodded. "I'm so sorry!" She hugged him. "Poor Ray. Remember, during the convention, Greg, Xander, David, and I are all gone plus Tracey." He perked up at that, that left the normal lab people. She led Abby back by her wrist, letting her wave.
"I'm sorry if Gibbs yelled, Ray. He does that." She walked into the lab and looked around. "Wow. This is nice!" She walked over to look at the computers. "I've got better computer gear but this is nicer than mine otherwise." She noticed the pills and held them up.
Mortty beamed. "David's cranky mood often ends up with me getting supplies. Xander probably loved him into the bed again so he didn't get enough sleep."
"Don't remind me," David sighed from behind her. "That and they're putting in new water pipes up the street. Hi, I'm David Hodges, mate to the irritating one yesterday."
She beamed and hugged him. "It's okay, you've got a good thing in Xander. Plus you can always sleep during the convention." He nodded and smiled slightly at that. "Can I see the Trace lab? I do a bit of everything."
"Sure, Xander can give you the tour," he agreed, smiling at her. "We're about to do shift meeting if you wanted to sit in."
"Sure." She beamed and went back to helping Mortty set up for the night. "This is so cool. I thought Gibbs was cool about me being me, but they just act like you're perfectly normal."
She nodded. "I am next to the Xander," she shared, grinning at him. "David, is it a t-shirt day?"
"Yes, but it's a threatening one," he called back. "The construction crew kept Xander up too. He's growling for real!"
"Damn!" Ray called from the main room. He went to call the Chief of Police, who could hopefully get them off Xander's street before someone happened and died. "Meeting," he called a few minutes later. David came out dragging. "Can you guys stay at the hotel during the convention?"
"We are. If they'll agree to leave off the pipes until then, I'm sure we'd be happier folk."
"They're offering to," he promised. "Where is Xander?"
"He got stopped due to the shirt of the day. Xander! Meeting!" he yelled. Xander came in and slammed the door open, making Ray wince. "They're thinking about holding off on our street until we're at the hotel during the convention," he offered. Xander growled.
"You can come sleep on my couch," Mortty offered. "Abby can stay in my room with me. I've got one of the oversized coffins for the really heavy guys."
Abby read his shirt. "People suck. I'm going to end the world today. You want to go first?" She giggled and hugged him. "It'll be okay."
"No it's not! We haven't had water for two days! They didn't even warn us!" Xander complained, sitting down. "I'm going to kill the fucking crew, Ray, and then I'm going to hook the water back up."
"It shouldn't take too much longer, Xander," he promised calmly. "Just fire off the pretty guns today and we'll all be fine."
"Fuck fine," he growled.
"Okay." He nodded and left it there. Xander was going to kill and he had too many nieces and nephews to leave behind at the moment. "You can shower upstairs."
"I have been," he said dryly. "How many guns do I have?"
Ray looked and winced. "None? You could nap." Xander glared at him, he'd never get a nap in the office. "Okay, you can try."
"It'll only make me more frustrated," he said simply, glaring when the door opened. Someone came in pointing a gun and he got up. "Who the fuck are you?"
"Your worst nightmare!" he shouted.
Xander grabbed the gun by the barrel and yanked, then beat the shit out of him, ending up on top of him and growling. "You sure about that?" he snarled. The man started to cry. "Sissy punk bitch." He got up and handed the gun to Ray, then went upstairs. "Someone come get the little bitch I just beat," he called from the top of the stairway. "Before I get to work out more anger issues on him!"
"What the fuck is your problem?" Stan yelled, coming down the stairs. He saw the shirt, then winced. "They're still doing the construction?"
"Yes, this makes day fucking three and I haven't had water at home for two!"
"Shit," he muttered, going down to get the guy and drag him to the infirmary first, then arrest him down there. On the way he had a quiet word with the desk sergeant, who started to spread the news around so the Mayor's office was inundated with calls to fix that before Xander went ballistic on them too. Until then, Stan called Rennie and had him mix a natural sedative into something and bring it to him so they could drug Xander. Before the t-shirt came true this time.
Mortty looked at Abby later that night. "That's not the usual Xander. Usually he's pretty cool. That's lack of sleep."
"I've had that and Gibbs growls worse. I'm kinda used to it now and then," she promised with a grin. "Why doesn't he like the press?"
"Because each time he gets press, something bad happens," Mortty said simply. She heard a door slam and winced. "Sounds like someone woke him up. Ray?" she called. He came back to the doorway. "Was that the Xander?"
"No, that was the Greg, who's even worse. Xander's still crashed on the couch in front of the hockey game." He smiled at Abby. "Sorry, unusual circumstances."
"Ray, I called to check on how much longer it would take. They said tomorrow. I'm moving us and the dogs and Greg to a suite tonight."
"Sure," he agreed. "Have fun with that." He smiled at that. "You're off tomorrow anyway."
"They promised we'd have water tomorrow. I told them if they didn't, Xander was going to fix that situation. She didn't sound happy to hear his name. Any idea why?"
"Yeah, about every cop in the building has called to complain about how long this is taking. They're scared." David smirked at that. "Tomorrow night, take Abby and Mortty clubbing with you, David. Let him have some fun."
"Sure." He grinned at the girls. "If you want."
"I wouldn't mind," Abby agreed happily. "I haven't had much time to go out and have fun recently." David smiled at that and Mortty patted her on the back.
"Poor baby, but going out with Xander and David is an experience. We'll be hit on all night by people who want to pay Xander. Techno, goth, gay club?" she asked.
"Techno or goth," Abby agreed happily. "Just wherever's got a good floor and we can get in."
"Xander gets in everywhere but the demon bars," Ray said dryly. "Pick a type of club, he can get you in there."
"Hey, Ray," Mortty asked. "Benny referred the issue of the S&M Mounties to you. Why was Benny in an S&M club?"
"It was for a case," he groaned. "He went in to question someone and they wanted to make him a sub." He walked off shaking his head.
"That's gotta be almost as cute as Tony and Gibbs in one," Abby said happily. "I didn't think McGee would *ever* quit blushing and then Kate started to blush too." She sighed and Mortty hugged her. "I'm fine," she sighed, looking at her sister. "It's just an ache, ya know?"
"I do," she promised, kissing her on the cheek. "I'm sure she's pouting at you for not having her be turned instead." Abby smiled slightly at that. "Xander knows some, or maybe the witchly ones could bring her back."
"No, that would be bad," she sighed. "Plus Gibbs would have a stroke trying to explain that to Director Sheppard, who's his ex and former trainee. She wanted me to wear a *suit*, Mortty, and *heels*!" Her sister shuddered and so did David. "Really! It was so gross! And then I got kinky, pervy friends who snuck in while I was changing and I didn't realize. They only saw my back, but still!" She got another squeeze. "I'm okay."
"I know you are, but you don't get enough hugs," Mortty reminded her. "Hugs are important. Xander usually gives very good hugs." She saw Xander stumble past and grinned. "Xander, I need a hug! So does Abby, she just lost a team member." He came in and enfolded Abby, making her go limp and relax against him. "See, told you he gave good hugs." She hugged Xander from the back. "Are you better?"
"I'll be okay but I'm not driving home tonight," he said quietly.
"We're all going to a hotel tonight and they've promised we'll have water tomorrow," David offered quietly. Xander looked back at him. "Can I have one next?" That got a slight grin and a nod. "Thanks. We'll go get a suite and drag Greg since Dawn's keeping him up. We'll even bring the dogs since Stan brought them in tonight because they were helping Diefenbaker rob the bakery up the street again." That got a brighter grin. "Now, let the girls go. Remember, you gave up women for me." Xander held out an arm and David came over to get his own cuddle. "Thank you."
Xander kissed him. "No thank you for putting up with me." He stole a second one with a grin.
"That's so hot," Abby moaned. "Maybe I should bribe Tony to kiss McGee so I could watch." Mortty giggled at that and swatted her so she pulled back. "You do hug very well."
"Feel free to come back for more whenever you need one, Abby." He brushed some of her hair out of the way. "You need a trim." He smiled at David. "Can we take them out tomorrow?"
"We were all but ordered to by Ray," he promised. "He bragged you can get in anywhere."
"I wanna go to Lothario." David moaned and whimpered. "Please, David? I haven't gotten to wear leather in a while. Pretty please!"
"Fine. We'll go to the slutty goth club. You get to dress the girls tomorrow." He walked off shaking his head. It was good to have his Xander back.
"I've got the perfect outfit," Mortty said happily. "My red bustier."
"Is way too thick," Xander complained. "We'll hit the vampire store on the way in and get your hairs done too." He grinned at Abby. "You'll enjoy it there." He went back to ballistics, going to see if he had any work. "Who left me a squirt gun!" he called.
"The idiot you beat," David called back. Then he squealed. "Xander!"
"Hey, plain water," he said happily, getting an evil smirk so he could stalk the Ray. Ray wisely ran upstairs so he got to hunt Stan and the dogs instead, getting Stan in the hair, a major sin in the Book of Stan. No one messed with the blond, spiky stuff, not even the Mounties were allowed to unless it was in the heat of sex. "Thank you for the nap!" he called as he ran away. "I needed that."
Stan growled and went after his buddy. Xander was going to pay for messing up his hair.
Rennie looked and grabbed him, taking him into the broom closet. "I do like the wet look on you," he admitted, stealing a long, deep kiss. "It's most exciting."
Xander walked the girls into the vampire store, grinning at the vampire behind the counter. "Hi." The girl whimpered. "We're going to Lothario."
"Awwwwww," she moaned, shaking her head. "Fine, Harris. I'll dress the *humans*." She came over to help them find something good enough. Abby ended up in a navy blue silk and leather bustier and tartan skirt. Mortty ended up in a similar outfit but in deep green. Then she sat down to do their hairs in the current vampire fashion while Xander hunted for himself. "Is your mate playing straight tonight?"
"Yup. He's playing bodyguard," he said with a wicked smirk. "I promise I won't hunt."
"That would be nice, yes." When she was done, she took the girls' pictures and put it on the wall, then gave Abby a copy because of the deadly puppy eyes. She watched Harris come out in very thin black leather and a chocolate colored silk shirt, making her moan. He found a pair of boots and took the gel she held out, doing his hair too. Then he put down his card and let her run it for him. Their old clothes were put into the trunk and they headed off. She probably should call, but....
Xander drove up to the front door of the club, kissing David before getting out and helping Abby out of the back while he got Mortty. "Now, this is a true vampire club," he told Abby. "As in there are people in there who will really eat you." He walked them up to the door, smiling winningly. "This is Abby, she's Mortty's sister and Mortty and I deserve a treat since I've had construction on my street and I didn't kill anyone after three days without sleep." The vampire on the door groaned. "Can you go 'grr' to show Abby? She's from DC and she's only run into poser wannabes." He went to vampire face, making her squeal and reach out to touch him. "See, vampires. Pwease?" he begged cutely. "I promise I won't hunt unless someone tries to eat what's mine."
"Fine, Harris. Rona's inside anyway." He let them in, not even charging them cover. David handed it over anyway.
Xander led the girls onto the floor while David found an overlooking spot to guard them. He hated this club and wouldn't come out, but Rona would protect David once she spotted any of them. Abby knew how to move and Mortty had his back so they made quite a pretty picture teasing all the vampires around them and their feeders. He growled at the person trying to take Abby, pulling her closer with a smug look. The vampire moaned and went to vamp face, leaning in to try to kiss him. Xander blew one instead and moved Abby with him to face Mortty. All the guy could do was stare at his very tight ass in those very thin leather pants that showed every single flex of his muscles and crack. Mortty grinned and moved closer, putting on a real show for David, who would growl and pounce later. He told her so. Xander liked the jealous pouncing so she always made it good when she went out with them. Xander winked and danced Abby closer, putting her between them.
She blushed a bit but was giggling and happy. They played a song that encouraged you to bounce so they did together while Mortty went to check with David. "This is so cool!" Abby shouted at Xander. He beamed and nodded. "Gibbs would never believe this!" He giggled and swung her around, making her blush and giggle again. David came down to take control of his mate, letting Abby and Mortty have each other. She watched as David spanked Xander and led him off toward the back rooms. "You can do that here?" she called.
Mortty nodded and checked their progress, heading after them. "There's places to watch where they won't know," she called, sneaking her up there. "Vampires don't care but David might," she warned once they were in the quieter area. They found a nice overlook for that couple and sat there to watch David claim his mate. They snuck off after the bite to the back of Xander's shoulder, going back to dance off the new energy they had. "Do you wanna hit a techno spot or a rave later?" she called finally. "David won't want to stay, they always want Xander more when he's had some."
"Techno's fine," she promised, grinning as the guys came back. "You two okay?" David nodded and pulled her closer to kiss her on the forehead. "Hey!"
He grinned. "Only good girls get kissed. Neither of you are." He nodded and they followed him out. Outside he ran into Rona, who pouted. "What?"
"Xander's wearing horny clothes, David. Are you asking for trouble?"
Xander hugged her, then swatted her on the ass. "I've got plenty of protection, dear."
"I'm sure you do but your booty needs a guard." She spanked him, making David growl. "Oooh. Possessive mate. Good! Remember, if he gets a lot tonight, my birthday's next month and I deserve a massive prezzie." She went back to her hunting and David made Xander get into the car so he could drive.
"Where to, ladies?"
"Ooh, Salvage?" Mortty asked.
David looked back at her. "You're in a smutty mood tonight. Once wasn't enough?"
She beamed and shook her head. "Hell no, I want the good birthday present too!"
Xander looked back at her, smirking a bit. "I've already got your present picked out, princess. It'll make you happy." She beamed back. "Merengue?"
David moaned. "Fine, we'll go Latin Dancing, Xander, but the first time you get paid we're out of there. They're still giving you fond looks after the last two times." He drove them off, shaking his head. Xander was so bad sometimes.
"You know it never works when I encourage it. So I'm encouraging it tonight. Therefore we won't get paid, and then we can hit Salvage so I can't sleep tonight."
"Fine," he agreed dryly, still having reservations about that plan. It's not like he got to sleep the night before. He parked and got out, helping the ladies out. He got into the trunk, finding them sweaters to go with the outfits. "Here, we thought we might switch it around. Dawn said don't spill anything on those." He walked Xander inside, letting the ladies follow. Xander paid the cover with a shy smile.
"Is your boy pimping you again?" the bouncer asked dryly.
"No, but the music makes him hotter so I get some explosive sex later," David noted. "Ladies?" Xander took Mortty and he took Abby out to dance with. He liked Abby, she was the sweeter version of Mortty, who was nearly as naughty as Xander. "We don't mind," he assured her. "We've known Mortty was sneaking after us. Xander's got good hunting instincts." He heard the shotgun blast and groaned. "No. Please no." He stopped moving and looked toward Xander, who was already calling it in. "Inside?" he mouthed. Xander nodded at the bar. He handed Xander his badge, he was carrying both of them. Mortty pulled hers out of her bra and Abby gaped at that. "They make us," David complained. "Sit somewhere safer, Abby. Mortty?" She nodded and took Abby back into the back part of the crowd, near the wall. He and Xander moved closer to the disturbance. He could hear sirens. The gunman was looking nervous. "Shit," he moaned.
Xander looked at him and nodded him back. "Go be with the ladies, David." David nodded and headed back, taking his phone with him. The manager caught his eye and shook his head. Xander flashed his badge and the manager groaned. He nodded and moved slightly closer, toward the end of the bar. You could hear the sirens right outside now. "Hey," he said quietly. "Maybe you should just run. The cops are here. Just take off out the back door." The man with the shotgun glared at him. "Dude, seriously. There's at least four cop cars out there, that means at least eight cops. You're a single guy. They're going to shoot you to kill you. If you run, you've at least got a chance of finding safety and sanctuary. So just take the money you want and go."
"I can't get the register open," the bartender complained.
Xander hopped the bar and came over to open it for him. "Old fast food trick," he offered with a smile. "Now, just go. Please. There's too many witnesses here and you don't want to shoot anyone. That's life, man. This is only ten to fifteen." The man sneered and Xander put his badge on the bar. "I'm Harris. Out. Now." The man took the bag of money and backed up. Then he turned and ran for the front doors. He took a deep breath when the door shut and looked at the bartender, taking his badge back. "Give it ten minutes. They've got him." The man nodded and poured himself a beer. "He would've shot if you kept stalling, man. He was hyped." He looked at the manager as he came out. "Can you pull the tape?"
"Yeah, I had the bouncer doing it already. Thank you, officer."
"CSI Harris," he said dryly, smirking at him. The man gaped. "He was hyped, it was going to turn ugly. The first rule of bartending, convenience stores, and fast food. Don't argue. Especially not with cops outside." He went to check on his man, who nodded that they were fine. "They get him?"
"Yeah, they'll be right in according to Huey. It was his night." The door opened and a few cops came in. "See?" He waved at them and sipped his drink. "Abby, you okay?"
"I'm fine," she said happily. "Where are we going after this?"
"Cyclone?" Xander suggested. "It's usually safer."
"Harris!" Huey yelled.
"You wanted him to shoot someone?" he called back.
"Well, no," one of the officers agreed. "At least you knew we were there."
"Everyone heard the sirens," he complained. "We called it in." He looked at Jack Huey, getting a frown. "First rule of food service, bartending, and convenience stores, Huey. Don't argue."
"It is," he agreed. "Thank you, Harris. Now, shoo. I'll get your statement tomorrow."
"It's not like I've been drinking."
"No, he's not going anywhere," one woman yelled, pulling her handgun and pointing it at Xander. "Everyone else can leave but him!"
"How stupid are you to pull a gun in a club full of witnesses and cops?" Mortty called. The woman shot over her head. "Never mind. Abby?"
"No, you're staying! You're not our sort! You sullied us! They probably followed you here!" she finished at a yell.
"He was here since nine, miss," the manager offered. "Long before they got here. Now please put it down."
The officers looked at each other and couldn't come to a silent agreement.
"At least let everyone else but us and the other cops go," Xander ordered calmly. The woman nodded and everyone else hurried out. He sat on the table, looking at her. "Lady, I may not be Cuban, but I've been salsa dancing for years now. And no, he was here before us. We've only been here for an hour."
"It was you sorts coming in here that drew him."
"Actually, it was probably the women like you, who have about sixteen grand of jewels on, that drew him," Abby noted. "They don't go to the slummy clubs."
"Lady, I'm a Fed," she said dryly, pulling her ID and badge. The woman whimpered. "You're in deep shit. Now sit down and put the gun down. You've got six cops and a Fed in front of you. You've only got nine bullets in that clip and you've used at least one. You won't make it. I can promise we will shoot you if you try to hit any of us. Then you'll be dead."
"I said shut up!"
"Fine," Abby agreed, shrugging. "It's your life."
"Lady, you don't even know me."
"Oh yes I do. You're in the papers. You're a *cop*," she sneered. "You test guns and solve cases. You do bombs."
"True," Xander agreed. "And I choose to bring my husband here, like half the crowd did." She sneered greater. "Ah, that's your problem." He slid off the table and moved closer. "I tried women, they were boring," he said dryly, making a sudden move and pulling her closer, pinning the gun between them. "Women like you drove me away from being straight," he said, staring into her eyes. She tried to struggle, but his finger was bigger and taking up most of the trigger guard. He pulled her closer by the hand on the back of her neck, sneering into her eyes. "I'd quit before you get hurt. I have control of the gun." She let out a shriek and a few of the cops came over to grab her. The gun did discharge but it was past his arm. "Nice one, lady, that adds another five years." He blew a kiss and handed over the weapon. "Tell the swing to have fun with that." That got a nod and they drug her off. He looked at his friends and husband. "We all good?"
"Well, we are but you're bleeding," Abby noted, coming over to look at his arm. "Just a small graze."
"I'm fine. I just need a bandaid. I've got one in the car," he admitted, smiling at her. "Come on, David."
"You're getting that treated."
Xander looked up then at him. "It's a scratch, David. I'm fine." He led him to the bathroom so he could take off his shirt and show him. "See, just a scratch. I barely felt it." He stole a kiss and then walked him back out, going to take them home so he could change clothes and then they could go back out.
Abby saw the laptop. "Can I email Gibbs so he knows I'm okay and he doesn't have to show up?"
"Sure," David agreed, logging her on and into the email program. "Make sure he knows you're safe and protected by the alpha dog in the city." He went to check on Mortty, who was hugging Xander. "He's fine," he reminded her, giving his mate a kiss over her shoulder. "All cleaned up?" He nodded. "Good, then let's go back out unless you want a night in front of the tv."
Xander grinned. "True, she hasn't seen the miracle that is me being hunted." She giggled and pinched him on the nipple. "Hey! Not yours!" he complained, rubbing it. "Only David gets to play with those." He found a shirt he wanted and put it on, then headed back down the stairs buttoning it. "Okay, I'm done." He found Abby scanning the picture. "Sending it to your boss so he doesn't jump on a plane?"
"Yup. He's a bit paranoid that I'm going to get into trouble. He worries a lot." She hit the send button once the picture had uploaded then stood up and smiled at him. "You look even more goth," she teased, taking off the sweater. "I'm so proud of you." She kissed him on the cheek. "I wish we had an open spot. I wouldn't mind you three and Greg coming back with me. Can I pack Greg? I'm sure Gibbs won't mind if I switch Ziva for him."
"You'd have to ask him," he said with a gentle smile. "David." He came out of the kitchen with Mortty. "Cyclone?"
"It's safer," David agreed. "Or we could go to Mercury." Xander beamed at that. "Since you're now hyped up and naughty." He finished his milk and walked the women out, shutting and locking the door behind them. The dogs were at the hotel tonight too. It was a nice vacation for them.
Abby giggled as she answered her phone. "Hi, Tony!" She beamed at her sister, who rolled her eyes. "No, I'm okay. Xander handled it very well." She giggled and shook her head. "No, Xander's CSI Harris. He does ballistics, trace, and field stuff, plus bombs. I met him because he came to look at a few car bombs at the airport as we were leaving. My sister works with him. Did you get the pictures?" She bounced a bit, smiling happily. "Yup, the dark haired one is Xander. Sure!" She beamed at the new growl. "I miss you too, Gibbs. How are things there with my temp?" She listened to him complain. "Oooh, you poor baby," she cooed. "Don't worry, I'll be back right after the convention!" She giggled.
"No, I'm fine. Xander handled it very prettily. Well, I was thinking about sneaking one of the field techs here back in my suitcase and having him take out Ziva and take her spot," she offered, "but he's taken and his girlfriend is scarier than I am. She threatened to go evil and destroy us all if we took her boyfriend. Well, some girls are possessive, Gibbs. If you dated nicer women, like me, you'd know that. 'Cause if you had been my spouse, you never would've escaped." She giggled again. "No, I'm okay. Did you see the picture? No, we went to a *real* vampire bar. Like with real vampires! Yeah! And tonight I'm going to ask where the ones in DC are. Of course!" she scoffed. "Right after the convention. Well, you could come in for that," she offered sweetly. "I love you. Laters. Mortty's gotta go to work and she's dropping me off at the major goth tourist section. Have fun and behave." She hung up and rolled her eyes. "He worries so much."
"He's not used to having a Xander nearby," Mortty reminded her. She put on her favorite collar and stood up. "Like it? Xander's last birthday present." Abby grinned. "Come on, otherwise I'm going to be late. Then I've got the rest of the week off until after the convention." They linked arms and walked out together.
Xander looked up as his phone went off. "Harris," he sighed. "No, I'm not on call today. I know very well I'm not on call today. This is my other day off. Well, I could be mowing the lawn but I'm reading Harry Potter," he admitted. "Why?" He listened. "They were there. Yeah, and I heard the sirens," he complained. "He was hyped and shaking, he was going to fire. That got him away from the majority of soft targets, Welsh. That's protocol, right? Have him get away rather than having him shoot at the soft target-shaped people?" He smirked. "I thought so. No, I'm sure Abby's called her boss to reassure him she's fine." He snorted, then rolled his eyes. "I love you, Welsh, but I'm not pulling overtime and since I was there I can't process those guns. So have swing do it when they come in." He hung up and went back to his reading. "I love you," he called.
"Tell Welsh I said no," David called back.
"I already did." He smiled and went back to his reading, sure he was going to be protected yet again today. His packmate was very good at that.
David hung up the kitchen phone and shook his head, mentally cursing the police department. He didn't know how they got along before Xander.
Abby squealed and went to pounce the guy walked into the convention hotel, hugging him with her legs around his waist. "Tony!"
"Abby, heavy," he moaned, patting her on the back. "Down?" She slid down and he smiled at her. "How are you?"
"I'm great! Mortty and I have been doing a lot of stuff and Xander's taken me out a few more times. Did you know people want him enough to pay him even if they can't have him?"
"It's more like especially if they can't have him," Gibbs said as he came in, reading a file. He looked at her. "You make dangerous friends."
She snorted. "Oh, please. Xander's a fuzzy puppy. He'd never hurt anyone not hurting his friends and family. Like Mortty and David, his husband." She hugged him. "Didn't I look so hot in that dress?"
"You did and your hair looked nice too." He tugged on a pigtail. "Where is your knight?"
"Dining room. He works midnights so he's getting coffee to go back to days for the convention." She cooed at the dogs trotting over. "Oh, aren't you so cute!" she cooed, picking up Xander's to pet. "Yes, you're a good girl, Sarah. And you too, Nick." She picked up that one to cuddle him too. "They're CSI dogs. They help around the lab." She looked around, then back at Sarah. "No Diefenbaker?" Sarah whimpered and licked her so she rubbed noses with her. "Daddy's in the dining room with the coffee stuff." They tracked him by smell and she beamed at him. "Nick is Sarah's son and he was born under a mass spec in Mortty's lab before it was hers. They're very well trained around the lab." She saw a dog she didn't know and smiled. "Oooh, you're so cute. You must be MacKenzie. I was told you'd be coming," she cooed, letting the dog sniff her hand then pet it. "Ooh, someone's had some stress itching. Was it a stressful week for the prime minister?"
"Very," the blonde woman following him admitted. "Calleigh Dusquene," she said, shaking her hand. "You?"
"Abby Sciuto. NCIS, DC. I'm in visiting Mortty, Xander, and David. Well, I just met Xander and David, but I'll come back to visit them. Xander's sucking coffee since he's back on midnights."
Calleigh grinned. "Yeah, he's had a long week. Horatio's been mean all week to everyone and little MacKenzie there hasn't been at work with me so he doesn't bite him." She picked up her dog and smiled at the men. "Hi, Calleigh Dusquene. Ballistics, Miami."
"Special Agents Leroy Jethro Gibbs and Tony DiNozzo," Abby introduced. "Part of the field team I work with."
"Oh, that's so cool. I'm off to find this one's grandfather and to see if I can find a Mountie. Diefenbaker's outside trying to mug the delivery driver with the Chinese food."
Abby let out an ear-piercing whistle. "Mounties!" Rennie nearly teleported in front of her. "Diefenbaker's mugging the Chinese delivery guy outside." He groaned and headed that way. "Not his Mountie, but one of Stan's Mounties," she said happily, taking Gibbs and Tony's arms. "Come on, we can all head that way. Have you guys checked in?" They all nodded so she beamed, walking them toward where she could hear someone babbling happily. "Awwwww. Diefenbaker was mugging the guy delivering chinese." Sarah ran out to help him. "That's so cute!"
"And there's our missing Prime Minister," Xander cooed, taking him. "Oooh, someone had a bad week."
"Horatio's been on a rip at work for the last few days so I've had him at home," she admitted happily. "Boys, this is Xander and his husband David. They're local. He's Ballistics and Trace, and David is Trace." She took her dog back, letting him cuddle and lick her face. "Yes, I missed you and Horatio will calm down," she promised. "Yes he will. Even if I do have to send him a hooker for stress relief." Xander and David both smirked at that, Xander letting out a few snickers. "Hey, conventions are an escape. He needs one." She sat down, the dog in her lap. The waiter started to open his mouth. "I carry a gun," she noted dryly. He backed off and got them some more coffee and some pastries. "Thank you," she said happily. She smiled at Xander. "How are your nights?"
"Going pretty good," he admitted, smiling at Gibbs. "Let me guess, you're Abby's toys?"
"We're her team," Tony said. "I'm no one's toy."
"Pity," Calleigh said with a smirk. He grinned back. "So, Xander, did you get to see the new model Winchester yet?"
"No," he pouted. "David said I egged on the person who gave me her panties and diamonds to dance with her and make her get off on the floor so I'm not allowed near the guns until he says so."
Calleigh pouted. "That's mean, David."
"It's self preservation. He's still drawing psycho women who want to pay him to look at his butt." He sipped his coffee and looked at Gibbs. "Do your people have this problem or is it only Xander? Especially when he and Abby dance. It's just distracting. I'm almost jealous."
Gibbs spluttered a bit. "Abby, were you being naughty?"
"No, Gibbs. I was a prop for Xander's naughtiness. We look nearly as hot together as he and David do," she said proudly. "Too bad David claims that tight butt for himself. But then again if I tried, he'd make me an evil woman like he did the others and then I couldn't see your smiling face every day, Gibbs." She smiled at him and he rolled his eyes, getting more coffee.
"I still like the collection of lesbians who paid us money after watching David and I make out in a corner," Xander said dryly. Tony spluttered and Gibbs looked shocked, while the women laughed. "I turned them down earlier and David and I were in a dark corner of a gay club and they decided to watch and paid ten grand for it after the fact, when we realized they were there." David blushed at that.
"The problem is that things like that keep happening," David complained, looking at his mate. "Greg's nearly figured out what it is and then we're going to bottle and sell it, Xander."
"Sure. Please, that way I get hit on less and you get less jealous. Though I do like to be claimed," he said with a small blush. David pinched him under the table, making him yelp. "I'll behave."
"Oooh, Stella, Danny!" Calleigh called, waving. "Come over and meet MacKenzie." They came over to hug her. "MacKenzie, these are Danny and Stella. They can even make Horatio smile."
"It's the stress," Horatio said as he came in. He looked at the dog. "Fine, you can come back. But you stay out of the morgue."
"It wasn't his fault someone sent us beef. At least he tracked it." He gave her a look and the dog growled. "You quit before I have to hire him a hooker," she ordered her dog.
"Should you, I'm going to ground you to the lab when we get back," Horatio offered. "CSIs Harris and Hodges," he said, nodding politely. "Thank you for letting her have MacKenzie. It's lightened her life and her spirits many times."
"Not an issue," Xander said happily. "Sit, pull over chairs, guys. I don't bite unless you attack David or Abby. Or Mortty but she's still getting dressed." They pulled over more chairs and sat around. He looked at the two other people. "Where do you guys come from?"
"New York. Mac said he met you during a ballistics seminar a few years back."
"That's when we met," Calleigh said happily. "And yeah, that's when I got MacKenzie." Sarah came back looking very smug. "Looks like you won against the delivery driver," she said smugly, letting her into her lap too. The dog walked around the others and plopped down in her father's lap with a sigh. Nick crawled into David's and grinned at him.
"Yes, hi, Nick."
"You forgot me already?" Warrick joked as he came in. "He's parking the car." He looked at the dog. "Hi, Nickie. Where's Greg?"
"Getting some sleep now that Dawn has to work," Xander said dryly. "So he can fight back if Abby steals him." He grinned at him. "Hi, Warrick."
"Hi, Xander. Hi, David. Has he been good, David?"
"Hell no," he said dryly, shaking his head. "Dumbass there danced with someone last night and got her diamonds and her panties handed to him."
"It's a nice thing that I can sit this morning," Xander added with a grin. "He got really jealous and possessive."
"I would too," Danny said, smirking at him. "That happen often?" David nodded. "Any idea why?"
"Greg's still trying to figure it out," Abby told him happily. "All we know is that Xander attracts people who want to give him stuff but mostly leave him alone anymore. Every now and then one wants to kidnap him but mostly they just want to slip him money like others get phone numbers. Though I did get offered a spot between a trio of lesbians thanks to them." Gibbs choked on his sip of coffee so she patted him on the back. "I didn't take them up on it, Gibbs. What would McGee say?"
"Probably not a lot that was intelligent," Tony noted dryly. "Were they pretty?" She smiled and nodded. "He would've just moaned then."
"A lot," Stella agreed with a grin for her. "Does it transfer?"
Horatio nodded, pointing at Calleigh. "For two weeks." She just smiled at him. "You do know that Eric threatened to follow us to keep you out of trouble this time, correct?" She giggled and nodded. "Can we try?"
"I always try," she assured him happily.
The waiter came back and coughed. "Are they service animals, ma'am?"
"No, honey, they're cops. They help in the labs." She looked at him. "There's enough CSI around this table to cover up any murder. Including the ballistics techs." He backed off and went running. "I should put his badge on him." She dug in her purse and came out with the miniature harness she had created, putting it onto the excited puppy. "Yes, I know, you love to go to work," she cooed.
Xander took off his ID and shorted the chain, putting it around Sarah's neck. David did the same thing for Nick. "There, all official." He looked at Horatio. "Has he been good in the lab?"
"He's been very good in the lab. Last month someone sent us beef cut up to look like a person and he found it. Nearly ate some of it but he found it."
"Good. We've been teaching Sarah and Nick how to bomb sniff since they like our lawn grenades."
"Xander," David moaned. "Didn't you make them all explode?" He looked sheepish. "If you put in more, I'm going to paddle you."
"Can I watch?" Abby asked.
"No, this'll be punishment. The same as if he puts the flamethower on the door to scare away the Jehovah's Witnesses who want him really badly recently."
Warrick chuckled. "Tell me you're kidding." The look David gave him made him laugh harder. "Xander!"
"I'm being good! They keep waking me up an hour after I get to bed! Besides, it's too high to really hit anyone unless they're over seven foot tall and I'm not answering with a gun anymore." Warrick and Calleigh both laughed at that. "I try really hard to be good."
Gibbs snorted and shook his head. "I wondered about your file, kid."
Xander gave him a measuring look. "Which part, Agent Gibbs? The sick, torturing bastards trying to kill us or the lawyers for hell and the Pentagon who came after us to kill us?"
"Lawyers," Tony offered with a grin. "So, do you get into the field too?"
"I do enough to keep my certification up and my hand in," Xander said happily. "I usually get about two cases a month at the moment. I'm needed more in my primary role as the ballistics tech and bomb tech now and then."
"You do bombs?" Horatio asked.
"I'm not the fastest but I'm very good at disarming most things up to nuclear things," Xander said proudly. "I start making stupid mistakes when I have to play beat the timer at under thirty seconds. Which is why my husband worries so much every time he hears SWAT has me."
"I would too," Calleigh agreed dryly. Sarah barked. "See, the women know these things and David can apparently touch that mindset."
"No, that's him," David assured her. "He was raised by girls. He still calls football gay sex in teams." Stella burst out giggling at that.
"It is!" Xander defended. "With those positions and things and all the butt patting? It is!"
David patted him on the back. "We'll finish making you a normal guy soon, Xander," he promised.
"David, you've had him now for three years," Warrick reminded him. "I don't think you're going to fix that one. Is he still watching curling?" David moaned and nodded.
"How are the Mounties?" Danny asked. "I heard you guys had some around here."
"We do. Two of them are constantly over to help with cases," Xander said happily. "They work with Detective Kowalski. Rennie's here today and I'm sure Benny will be here soon enough. Their boss wanted them to go away and not go jump their spouse." That got some shocked looks so he grinned. "It works for them."
David nodded. "The alphas in Chicago are mostly gay, except for Vecchio. We find it really amusing at times."
"Yeah, especially when I get the things like that letter bomb and the letter explaining the letter bomb," Xander reminded him dryly, shaking his head. "Then he shows up and complains to the cops arresting him that I'm gay." That got some laughs around the table, making him shake his head. "He complained because of the lawn grenades too." David pinched him. "Ow! Meany! Keep it up and I'm not buying you anything pretty for our anniversary." He looked at Horatio. "So, how's Miami?"
"Warm and overcrowded," Calleigh admitted.
"Okay, then how's New York?" he asked the two from there.
"Today it's warm and it's still overcrowded," Danny admitted with a grin. "I'm assuming the agents are from the DC area?" Tony nodded. "How's your area?"
"Crawling with people I'd rather never work with again," Tony admitted. Abby swatted him. "It is." He looked over as someone else came in. "We need a bigger table."
Xander giggled. "We can head up to our suite. Greg should be up by now and we've got a deluxe one since we've been here for the last few days thanks to construction on the water lines on our street." David moaned and nodded. "And the city is going to reimburse us or else," he reminded his mate. "Please remind me to make that call?"
"No, I'll make that call. The Mayor's still worried that you're going to steal his wife since she pants over you." He shook his head. "Should we take this upstairs?" Everyone refilled their coffee cups and grabbed danish, and he paid the check, following behind. He nodded at his former coworkers, pointing up the stairs. "Twelve-fifty," he called. That got a nod and they went back to check in. He caught up to Warrick and Nick. "The rest just came in. I told them where we are." That got some nods and they headed up there. He took the second elevator of people, looking at Gibbs. "So, you came to save Abby from Xander?"
"Just to check on her," he admitted dryly. "Was she safe?"
"Oh, yeah. Everyone wanted Xander, not her. She even got to giggle at some of them." He shrugged and they got off so he led them down to the room, letting them inside. "I still think we should've gotten the penthouse."
"It didn't sleep as many," Xander complained. "This way if one of our friends ends up roomless, they can borrow a couch. If Mortty ever moves." He poked her and she jumped up, looking at him. "Nap?"
"Yeah, you two kept me up with the noise last night," she complained. "David, buy him a gag," she whined.
"I tried that, he still screamed through it," he said dryly, smirking at her. He flopped down and Xander sat at his feet, letting the dogs play. He played with his mate's hair. "You should tell them that Abby was safe," he said quietly.
Xander coughed. "Agent Gibbs, I promise Abby was very safe and well protected while she was here. She even helped with a few cases."
"Oh, Gods," Mortty moaned. "Don't remind me. They had sixteen two-liters between them," she said at the amused look. "In a day! It was a kidnaping! Xander's case and oh, Gods!" She held her head, shaking it some. "They bought out the local Godiva branch near the station and a case and a half of two liters. They didn't even share! I thought Abby and I were hyper when we worked together, Gibbs." He groaned at that memory.
"But we found them and it would've taken days otherwise," Abby reminded her smugly. "Besides, I live on caffpows at home!"
"She does," Tony agreed dryly. "Four or five of them a day."
Mortty looked up at him. "Then he went diving in the lake like that. A bouncy, hyper Xander with a manic smile and a death wish for someone else and your Abby in the same state." Gibbs shivered. "Exactly! They saved the kid's life, but still!"
Horatio smirked. "We call that good work and give them time for a nap."
"Since when?" Calleigh snorted. "I never get a nap time."
He shrugged. "If you need one and you're in that state, tell me." Then he smirked. "You have natural energy."
"So does Abby," Gibbs assured him, looking at Abby. "Were you a pain?"
"No, Gibbs, I was a good girl and then we went to ride roller coasters at Six Flags."
"At least someone went with him," David said dryly. "I can't." Someone knocked. "Who is it?"
"It's Grissom," he called.
Xander got up with a moan and went to get it, letting them in. "Hi. Welcome to our home away from home since we have no water." That got some indulgent looks. "Water main reconstruction." He sat back down. "Put the dogs down, food's in the other room and so is the litter box, Grissom." The dogs got down to sniff each other and yip and play, all but Calleigh's who was napping. "Is he all right?"
"The vet says yes but he's been one tired puppy recently."
Xander got up and got a can of food, letting him sniff it and eat it happily. "Looks like he needs some doggy caffeine. He stroked the thin head. "While you're up here, you can visit our vet for comparison since he's treated Sarah and Nick."
"I might, thank you, Xander." She kissed him on the cheek. "You take very good care of the dogs."
"He takes very good care of all of us," David assured her. Someone knocked and Xander got up, and you could mentally see him counting. "It could be Bobby. He wasn't sure if he was coming," he reminded him.
Xander opened the door and looked at the bellhop. "Yes?" The flowers were handed over with a smile. "Thank you. Do you need a tip?"
"That's all right, CSI Harris." He smiled at the dogs. "They're adorable, but the manager would like them kept out of that dining room. The back one allows dogs." He winked and walked off.
Xander checked then closed the door before sitting down and looking at his card. He sighed and handed it to David, who groaned and handed it to Mortty.
"Gregory Sanders!" Mortty yelled. He came out of his bedroom in a pair of sweats and his hair messy a minute later. She held up the card. "Was that Dawn?"
"No," he said, reading it. He looked at the front. "It's from the florist here in the hotel," he said, handing it back to Xander. "You want me to call someone?"
"Why? I'll investigate it and hand 'em over," he said dryly, getting up and heading down there with Sarah following him. He grinned at his dog, jogging a bit so she had to bark and catch up. He walked down to the florist and waved the card. "Who sent it? They didn't sign it."
"It was one of the guests," he offered, taking the card to look at, then blinked at it and then at Xander. "You really should report this." He pulled out his badge. "Oh, that's fine then," he decided, smiling at him. He looked it up. "Room twelve-fifty? Hmm. Looks like someone tried to charge your room."
Xander snorted. "I doubt my family did it. Do you remember the guy?"
"Oh, yes, nice young man. Very clean cut, sweet looking, smart. He had a badge as well but it was shaped differently. More like the ones you see on tv if I remember right. He kept fiddling with his dark brown hair."
"Gold or silver?"
"Gold," he said, smiling at him. "Yes, that was a detective."
"Did he say which woman I'm supposed to quit tainting or else he's going to blow me up?"
"No and I didn't watch him write the card either. We were a bit busy with people sending flowers to their spouses in an act of pre-guilt for the cheating they'd be doing. That was just an hour ago." He looked at the man coming in behind him, smiling a bit. "I'll be right with you."
"I wanted to match the handwriting against my people's," he offered, taking the card. Xander looked at him, giving him a patient look. "It's not my people so it wasn't about Calleigh," Horatio offered, handing it back. "We can ask Gibbs and DiNozzo if it's their people or Stella if it's someone else from up there."
"I'm not really tainting anyone," he complained. "I don't know how to taint people." He grimaced, looking at the florist. "Anything else you remember?"
"His skin tone seemed off, like he was wearing makeup."
"Interesting. Dark hair, gold badge, clean cut, smart looking, sweet looking. Anything else?" The florist considered it and shook his head. "Thank you." He smiled and went to the hotel's security desk, showing them the card. "About an hour ago, dark hair, clean cut, looked smart and sweet. Charged it to my room," he said dryly. "Can we check the tapes?"
"I can," he agreed, leading him back there to look them over. "By the way, the bellhop gave you the message about the dog, right?" he asked, looking down at Sarah, who barked and wagged her tail. "You have been very good while you were here, Sarah. We're very proud and happy to have you here. Yes, we are." She trotted more happily. He opened the door to their surveillance room. "Tune one to the florist, about an hour ago. Dark haired guy, clean cut, sweet looking."
"Gold badge if it helps," Xander offered. "He said it was like the ones on tv so I'm guessing a shield." The guy behind the monitors nodded and zipped a tape back, putting it on the main monitor. "Hmm."
Horatio coughed. "Can you print a copy?" he requested. "It's got to be from one of a very few departments."
"Lieutenant Caine, Miami-Dade CSI," he offered, shaking his hand. "You know CSI Harris?"
"Everyone in town knows CSI Harris," he said dryly. "And how he hates the press, especially since they broke in to try to get a comment while he had radiation poisoning."
"I still hope her hair fell out," Xander said dryly.
"Well, it sure looks like a wig," he offered with a smile. "More radiation or remodeling?"
"City water reconstruction on our street. We're without water and they're keeping us up since I work midnights." The security guys nodded, understanding that. "After the third day of no sleep when I threatened to blow up the city we came here after I was sedated for a bit." That got a smirk. "Seriously, Kowalski had Mountie Turnbull sedate me." That got a bigger grin. "I know, but it was needed." He shrugged and accepted the printouts. "Thank you." He smiled at them. "You guys are so nice. Just give us a few more days. Come on, Sarah. Let's go see your family." She barked politely then followed him.
"That is one polite dog," the security guy told Horatio. "Yours?"
"He's good at that but he's not quite that polite all the time," he offered dryly, stalking the kid back up there. Xander presented the picture. "I figure one of us in this room know him."
"Oh, I do," Gibbs promised dryly, handing it to Abby, who squealed. "You want him or can I have him?"
"Oh, no, I want Mr. Palmer," she said dryly, getting up and going to find him.
"Is he part of your team too?" Xander asked. "The florist said he had a gold shield, like on tv."
"He's our ME's assistant," Tony told him. "Has a crush on Abby and thinks she's sweet and kind."
"Which she is, just a bit odd," Gibbs added for good measure. He pulled out his cellphone. "Ducky, Gibbs. Where's your little tagalong so Abby can kill him. No, he sent a threatening flower bouquet."
"That he charged back to us," Xander noted dryly. He let Horatio walk around him then sat back down, snuggling up to his mate's calf. "Someone should probably make sure she doesn't kill him."
"McGee's somewhere the hotel in case something else happens," Tony told him. "That would be her actual boyfriend. He's not going to be a happy camper."
Gibbs hung up and called Abby's phone, getting her. "Room 0157, Abs. Have fun with that. Ducky's disgusted with him." He hung up and smirked at the boys. "Do you often get those too?"
"No." He shrugged. "Usually I just get paid for being alive."
"Boss, when they figure out how he does that, can I have some?" Tony asked. "It'd be helpful undercover." He got a headsmack. "Sorry, boss." He rubbed the sore spot. He looked at Horatio. "He abuses me horribly. Could you use me and not abuse my poor, damaged cranium?"
"Not really. I run the labs. I could use CSI Harris and Hodges, plus possibly CSI Sanders to keep them together." Mortty pouted at him. "I have two DNA techs."
"Meany. Don't take my Xander! Then what would I do?"
"Don't assassinate someone to get their spot," Stella warned her. "We'd catch you for that." She grinned at her. "How have you been, Mortty? I didn't see you last year."
"I was helping with a gross serial killer. It was just nasty," she told her, shifting closer to her to hug her, whispering in her ear and getting a grossed out face. "Yeah, so that's where I was. I felt like I had morning sickness I was so sick all the time."
"I'd have been sick too," she promised, giving her a pat on the knee. "We should pal around tonight."
"Xander wanted to skip the ball tonight since he hates the uniform," David offered. "That way I'd have backup to pull people off his butt."
Warrick laughed. "Yeah, David," he snorted. "Like that worked in Vegas."
"We managed to get him out of the salsa club and away from the women, it just took all four of us and him being willing to leave," he shot back with a smirk. He looked at Stella again. "That's not a problem but if he gets taken I expect help with at least a distraction."
"We can do that," Calleigh agreed happily. "Did they ever work out your badge issue for the lab techs?"
"We had to take some minor classes to get ours," Xander said bitterly. "I'd still rather be a lab tech instead of a lab tech and a cop. Before I only had to call stuff in and jump in if I had to. Now I have to call it in and I have to jump in. It makes David worry more and I'd like some days when I don't have to carry a gun." He looked back at David. "You're picking the place," he noted dryly. "It'll be safer that way." David nodded at that, making Mortty laugh. "It will be. He actually found six whole clubs where I haven't gotten paid yet." Danny snickered at that. "Seriously, man. Ask Warrick and the Vegas guys about the time we went out together." Warrick and Nick both moaned. Grissom just smiled and shook his head. "We were between clubs, having a snack at a jazz bar sorta place."
"When this woman two tables down starts to flirt with him," David said, shaking his head.
Nick snorted. "She kissed him once, put a roll of money into his hand. Said 'here, you'll need this', kissed him again. He protested, a lot, and she still walked off leaving it with him."
"Then we went to this salsa club," Warrick moaned. "Every other woman he looked at gave him money, no matter who was with him. He'd protest, they'd get hotter. We came in the next morning and the ones he turned down had sent it to the station."
"Not even all in Xander's name," David finished dryly. "Some of them remembered Warrick's name instead of Xander's. It was funny at the time, but when it keeps happening and keeps going, even after you're married to him and you know he doesn't want it, it gets tiring."
"And let's not mention the pseudo-seer sorority chicks," Nick threw in dryly, smirking at Xander, who just moaned. "Never, ever let the boy in a bachelor auction, guys. Ever. He got kidnaped after one by this sorority of flakes thinking they were the next incarnation of the Seers of Apollo. The ones with the snake and the fumes. Took him and then Captain Brass hostage. Then two more tries later that night by other people when we got them free."
"Which was about when I finally and fully gave up on women," Xander said dryly.
"Yeah, like I blame you," Warrick said dryly. "David, you're much stronger than I am. I'd have put a veil on him and locked him in the house by now."
"I tried that one day. Someone came into the house to kidnap him and ended up kicking Sarah in the side. She was not a happy dog. Neither was that woman when Ray got to her." That got a lot of laughs and Gibbs moaned, shaking his head. "It isn't just that stuff. Going to the movies and some guy shoots at our car for us kissing in the middle of stalled traffic. He started to cry when he figured out what he had done."
"The movie people who didn't want him," Greg reminded as he came out. His dog came over to cuddle. "Hi, Nick. Hi, Nick and Warrick." They waved and smiled. "Hey, Gris. I'm much less trouble now."
"I can tell. How is Dawn?"
"Fussy. Abby threatened to kidnap me and steal me back to her job."
Tony DiNozzo looked at him and shook his head. "We'd get hell for that and have to spank her."
"She'd probably like it," Gibbs admitted, standing up. "We should go stop her soon. Before we have to ask someone to clean up the body." Tony nodded. "We'll be right back with our brat." They walked out together.
Greg took his seat, grinning at Calleigh's lap muffin. "He looks comfy."
"He is but he's exhausted for no reason."
Xander pulled out his phone and called the vet. "Hey, doc, it's Xander. No, one of the offspring is at the convention and he's napping instead of playing. No, the greater majority are here," he admitted. "Please?" He smiled. "How much after our credit with you guys?" He nodded. "I can get that. It's not much. Thanks, doc. He'll be here in an hour," he offered once he hung up. "We've got a credit with him thanks to both of us paying the vet bill after she got kicked in the ribs." He shrugged. "Personally that stuff in the club is fun at times, but at others it's a pain. But we paid off the mortgage."
"Damn," Danny breathed. "When you guys bottle that, I'm getting some. Even if I have ta starve for a year." Stella nudged him. "It'd pay for itself!"
"Yeah, but you'd have to be wary of kidnaping," David reminded him. "He came here after that auction mess and got taken hostage by some bored mob wife who was getting back at her husband for slapping her. She bought him a full new wardrobe and a few other things, plus bribed the LVPD to ignore what happened, but he was still her hostage and shopping buddy for four hours."
"Plus plenty of them still want to hurt me," Xander pointed out dryly. "I got an offer off the copycat of that serial killer in Germany who ate his willing victim." He looked back at his husband. "By the way, Ford wants you to figure out a cure, not how to bottle it. He said he's tired of running after the inner-state problems I keep creating by being myself."
"He can bite me," Greg said dryly. "He hasn't had a good case in a while and they're usually fairly easy to track down. It's making him look good so he can hit DC and go back to pod central." Xander snickered at that. "Ford's a dick, but he's a smart dick. He's playing politics with this situation all he can to get back to DC." Gibbs and Tony came back with Abby, who had a card key. "Back already?" She sat in his lap and he gave her a long look. "I'm still taken."
"So are all the chairs," she said happily, beaming at him. "Xander," she said, looking at him. "Mr. Palmer is very sorry and would be tendering his apology in person but he presently can't speak and Ducky's chewing him a new one over the phone as well. So please forgive his naivety. He's very sorry his rose-colored glasses included the programming about thinking I'm a virgin." David snickered at that as Gibbs groaned. "Sorry, boss."
"Keep it up and I'm telling the Probie," Tony taunted, taking the last free seat. Gibbs hauled him up and sat down. "Boss, I don't wanna sit on your lap."
"C'mere, studly, I can shift over and you can wiggle your butt in here," Calleigh offered, wiggling closer to Danny, who smiled at her. "Yes, I know, I'm surrounded by cuteness." Tony just grinned at that.
"Don't stroke his ego, he doesn't need it," Gibbs told her. He hauled Abby off Greg's lap and put her in his. "That way you don't plan a kidnaping. You'd hate prison, they don't have coffins." She giggled and hugged him.
Danny walked Stella back into their precinct back home, letting her show off while he played bodyguard. Mac Taylor, their boss, and the Detective they worked with, Flack, both whistled at her new look. "The idiot who stole her gave her a makeover and gave her this stuff when we broke her out," he defended, shaking his head and walking off. Not that he hadn't had fun but watching Xander work was tiring at times. "Hey, Mac, I'm following Horatio's example and taking a nap," he called as he walked off.
"Fine, Danny." He looked at her. "You were kidnaped from the convention?"
"No, we went clubbing again last night," she admitted. "Xander draws some idiots and this one thought I was prettier than he was." She smiled sweetly. "I'm told he has to claim this stuff and the Chicago PD didn't wanna hear about it since Xander was involved and it was one of his things as they call them. Who do I tell here?"
"I don't know," Mac admitted. "Who do they tell there?"
"IAD there has a special list of people like Xander who get offers in the clubs and protest, but they end up with the money and stuff anyway." She looked at Flack, who was choking. "I was standing beside him when this really gorgeous, like model gorgeous, woman walked up to him, took off her engagement ring, wrapped it around her number, and stuck it down his pants. Not in his pocket, down his pants." She held up a hand. "He spluttered and protested that he was already married. She shrugged, stole a kiss and tipped him a fifty before walking off and catching a cab. Even Horatio laughed at that one." She shrugged at him. "So, who do I tell?"
"Internal Affairs probably," he admitted dryly, smirking and shaking his head. "So I take it you had fun getting a makeover?"
"Not too bad. He played Sinatra the whole time." She shrugged and went to call that office. Even though all the cops hated them, coming to their attention for something like this wasn't what she wanted.
"How long does this last?" Mac called.
"Ask Caine. He said Calleigh had the same problem last time. This time she got given rubies and diamonds," she called back. She turned to smile at him. "Danny wants some when they figure out how to dilute whatever this is and bottle it." She smirked and winked, then turned back around.
"Hell, I want some of that," Don Flack muttered, walking off to go pout in private.
Down in DC, Abby sat at her desk with a sigh and looked at Tony as he came in. "Hi."
"Hi." He gave her a hug. "Are you okay?"
"A bit depressed. Can't we hire Xander, David, and Greg?"
"No. Can you imagine the director's face after having to deal with Xander?" She smiled at that. "So, I know Stella got a makeover. What happened to you?"
"Oh, he did a few new holes for me," she said weakly, smiling at him. "Then filled them with really pretty stuff." She flicked the emerald stud in her ear. "He said he was going to make me a virgin sacrifice on his altar to the Gods of Power. When I pointed out I wasn't one he just shrugged and said it didn't matter that much to him, he could still have me anyway." The door opened and McGee walked in, making her smile weakly at him. "Hi."
"Didn't you have a good vacation?" he asked, smiling at the new earring. He had been sent back with Palmer that first night and hadn't been allowed to go back.
"Probie, the guy who captured her last night put that and a few other ones in," Tony told him dryly. "He wanted her to be a virgin sacrifice."
"Which wasn't nearly as fun as I thought it could be," she complained, looking at her boyfriend. "Xander rescued me and Gibbs had to laugh when he saw how. It was the only time I was taken though. Calleigh got it both times." Tony groaned and rolled his eyes. "Do I have to report this to the Director?" Tony nodded. She sighed and got to work typing it out, letting them read over her shoulder. McGee spluttered a few times. "I'm told they'll feel really nice in a few days," she noted dryly as she kept going. "Until then I've got a warm bath." She finished and typed her name, then handed it over once it came out and it was signed as well. "Here. Please hand that to Gibbs so he can slip it to her?"
"I didn't need that mental image," Tony noted dryly, leaving them alone for a bit.
"Are you okay?" McGee asked, looking around before giving her a hug.
"Yeah, I had a blast until last night. Then I got really tired and IAD there didn't even want to deal with it because these things happen to Xander. Some woman last night stole him from dancing with David, his husband, and kissed him, then slid money into his shirt pocket before strolling off with him complaining. Because you have to complain to not be arrested for it apparently. The Internal Affairs guy and the FBI guy both laughed their asses off when they saw what was going on. He's the only guy I know who got paid ten grand for making out in front of a bunch of lesbians. Oh, Gibbs and Tony said I should tell you that three lesbians offered me the creamy filling position if I wanted." He closed his eyes and shook his head, then kissed her on the forehead. "I didn't take 'em up on it."
"I didn't think you would," he promised quietly, smiling at him. "Are you okay other than tired?" She smiled and nodded, then smiled over his shoulder as Gibbs came in. "Morning, boss."
"Yes it is," he agreed dryly, handing her the new soda. "Here you go, Abby. Are you all right?"
"A bit sore in a few places but otherwise okay." She kissed him on the cheek. "McGee doesn't believe me about the money stuff."
He looked at the kid. "The boy made close to thirty grand last night, protesting the whole way and trying to get them to take it back. The FBI liaison out there taped it because he knew it was going to cause a problem with so many in the group. The more people he goes out with the more problems he runs into. Which also meant that all the women in the party got given stuff and DiNozzo. I think whatever's infecting Harris awakened it in him."
She giggled. "Tony could not make it through the airport without women just flinging their numbers at him."
"I talked to Harris before we left, he said it usually wears off after two weeks," Gibbs told her. "Report?"
"I gave it to Tony so he could give it to you and you could slip it to the Director," she said with a grin. "He said he didn't want that mental image."
"It's not one I needed either," he assured her, cuffing her gently but smirking. "Get to work, Abby. You too, McGee." He headed off shaking his head. Harris was the only good agent-material cop he would hire in a heartbeat that he'd never think about hiring. Just so he didn't have to deal with this. He called Fornell, his FBI contact, on the way to his desk. "We need a copy of the tape Ford made, Fornell. Yeah, that one. No, she's fine," he said as he got off the elevator. "I'm sure she's fine. No, she's at work. Because we're seeing how long this lasts." Tony gave him a smirk so he glared at him. "Sure. If possible. Thanks, Tobias." He hung up and looked at him. "You try to keep it down too, DiNozzo. No more incidences like in the airport when the mother offered her two daughters to you so she could have some."
"Not my fault, boss. All I did was dance near the kid and be spluttered on at dinner." Gibbs snorted and sat down. "I put Abby's report on your desk along with mine. Are we getting a copy of that tape?"
"Yup. Just in case. Besides, it'll look good on Ford, so he can escape Chicago. That's got to be critical insanity at times."
"At least you and Caine decided not to offer him a spot, boss. Not that David would move or anything but still."
"Good point." He read both reports then went to hand them to the director, who just stared at him in horror. "What? Did I miss a spot shaving?" he asked sarcastically.
"I just got a video feed from the FBI and Agent Fornell, Jethro. Who was that boy?"
"CSI Xander Harris, Director. Ballistics. Abby went to visit her sister, well cousin but they're that close, and he works with her. He protected her nearly as well as I can. I need a copy of that. Whatever he has rubbed off on DiNozzo too." She handed over the disc. "Thank you, director. Happy reading." He walked off, going to put the CD somewhere safe. He was sure someone somewhere in the CIA was trying out how he did that stuff. He wouldn't mind knowing but he might end up married again and that would be a bad thing in his book.
Down in Miami, Calleigh walked the baggie, the report she had typed up, and a copy of the DVD from Chicago into the Internal Affairs office. Rick Stetler, hated all around by her team, smirked at her. "I take it someone in Chicago called?" He smirked harder and nodded. "Good. I didn't know protocol for gifts in those situations. So here's the gifts, the reports from me and them, and a copy of the DVD. I'm hoping it's not permanent this time." She turned and walked out. She could do without the jewelry if she had to but she would be damned if she gave him something else to hold over Horatio's head. A while later she was interrupted in her lab by a different IAB officer. "What can I help you with?" she asked politely. This one hadn't earned her everlasting ire yet.
"Here," he said, handing the jewels back to her. "We have our own version of the list and after watching that DVD, we know it wasn't your fault. Has this happened before?" She nodded, handing him a copy of that last report. "Thank you, CSI Dusquene. We'll put you on our version of the list as well. Try not to go out for the next two weeks, just in case. We know this happens to some people more than others. Those of us on this duty usually find it humorous." He smiled at her. "Are you all right?" She nodded, smiling back. "Okay, let's try to give it time to wear out before you go out again. And even then, try to go out with an escort the first few times, all right?" She nodded, smiling at that. "Was there anything you wanted to declare?"
"No, I gave Stetler a typed report on what went on and that DVD, along with the baggie."
"That's fine then," he agreed with a small smile. He pushed over his card. "Just take some precautions and call me directly the next time something like this happens. I checked on CSI Harris' problems and they're trying to figure out the cause. We'll watch you the same way, just in case." She smiled and nodded. "Good girl. Now you have a better day, CSI Dusquene. Ignore Stetler for now. My boss cleared you. He knew about this sort of problem before. He was from LA and they had it too." He walked out, much happier with his day. He liked these cases instead of dirty cops. The next IAB convention was going to be full of stories about this convention. Harris was whispered about at all of them.
She smiled and tucked the card in her wallet, then the bag in her jacket pocket. Eric Delko walked in and closed the lab's door. "What's wrong?"
"What happened to you? You went to IA this morning."
"Yeah, I got given gifts while I was out last night at the convention and I had to report it," she said, then smiled happily. "Nothing too major. They have a list of these events I had to be put on. I'm supposed to give it two weeks before I go out again and then only go out escorted until we're sure that it's not a recurring problem."
"Recurring problem? You make it sound like a rash!" he complained. He scowled at her, arms crossed. "Calleigh, what's going on?" She handed over a copy of that report and he read it, then stared at her, mouth open. "What?" She beamed and nodded, handing over the baggie of jewelry. "Hel...." He let out his breath and handed it back, shaking his head. "So, two weeks?" She smiled and nodded. "I'll start going with you, Calleigh, just in case. Does H know?"
"He was right beside me," she admitted dryly. "At least until that one woman picked him up and carried him off. Kinda literally. We had to go rescue him about an hour later. The others were in a bit more peril." She smiled and waved at Frank Tripp as he walked their way. "There's Frank." She beamed when he leaned into the lab. "Hi. We're back."
"I can see that." He smirked at her. "What jewelry? And why is Horatio smiling?"
"He got picked up and carried off last night," she offered, tossing him the baggie. He gasped and looked at it, then at her. "I look very cute in it too, he wanted to wind it around me and use it as bondage gear but I had to stop him so it just got piled on me." She shrugged. "One of the guys with us kept getting cash. Another of the women got stolen and pierced. The other got a makeover." She looked at her poor, tired puppy, who was napping in her desk chair. "I had him checked. He's been having lethargy. They gave him a few shots and it seems to have worked better." She shrugged. "They said it's not serious so he'll be up and playing in no time. They also dewormed him." She grinned at him again. "It wasn't my fault. And hey, he gets this every time he goes out."
"Then I feel sorry for his wife."
"Husband," she corrected with a bright grin. "You'd like David. He's as sarcastic as Speed ever was and about as smart. Xander's got that hint of danger and mystery that drive people insane, but he's good at what he does. Horatio liked him to come down here but then he realized what sort of problems he'd have so he's leaving him back there. He might drive Stetler to shoot himself and we don't need another ballistics tech really." He smiled at that. "So, how was your time away from us?"
"Boring. Thank you for coming back." He walked off, heading to go back to work after stopping at Horatio's office to tease him. "How was it?"
"Interesting," he noted calmly.
"I meant the girl Calleigh said picked you up and carried you off."
"Me too," he admitted with the hint of a smirk. "I'm assuming she's safe?" Frank nodded. "Good. At least they called the various departments to make sure everyone made it home all right." He yawned and leaned back in his chair. "At least I don't have anything at the moment. I'll talk to you later, Frank." Frank nodded and retreated, leaving him to get up and nap on his office couch.