Title: Reviews of Past Accomplishments.
Author/pseudonym: Voracity
Rating: PG-13
Summary: Xander fixes Oz's furry problem and Oz gets to see some of the events that made
Ares and Xander the couple they are.

Xander idly scratched a scar on his arm and wondered when he'd gotten it. His brow wrinkled as
he tried to recall all the fights he'd gotten into, all the cuts and injuries he had received, but
nothing had happened to his arm that would look like that. He looked down at it, illuminating the
spot to see it better in the darkened room, frowning at the bite-looking mark. "Ares," he
whispered, "what did I do to my arm?"

"Oz bit you," he mumbled, flipping over and burying his head in his pillows. "Sleep. Now."

Xander popped down to the research room that his assistants, Giles and Oz, had set up. He used
something that had occurred to him. "Cure for werewolves," he whispered, calling all the books
with that item in them to the table in front of him and opening them automatically to that spot.
He smiled as only one book floated down, settling down to read it. By the end of the third
paragraph, his heart had lightened and he had found what he'd been looking for. He skimmed the
rest for nasty looking items that could come back and bite him, literally, then sent the book back
where it'd come from with a single thought as he teleported to where his two assistants were
curled up together. "Oz," he whispered, leaning over him and kissing his cheek. "Hey, got to talk
to you," he said when the deep gray eyes opened to look at him. A pointed look was given to the
clock but he grinned. "I found a way to cure your snarling, fuzzy problem. Get up."

Oz nodded, crawling out of the bed and facing him. He waited while the young God moved them
up to his office, yawning almost the whole way. He looked down at himself then back at his
friend. "Clothes?"

"Can't. You've got to change," he said, taking the pendant that he'd given him to stop it. "Then
you've got to bite a younger me." He got a confused look and a strong head shake. "The book
was specific. A young, innocent God's blood could cure you of this permanently." He kissed him
hard. "I have the scar. We'll go back to when I was really new and let you bite me then."

"Um, not supposed to be time hopping," the immortal reminded him.

"Yay, this is for a good cause." He looked at his friend's body. "So, change." Oz shook his
head, sitting on the edge of the desk, wincing as the cool wood touched his bare, usually
protected, flesh. "Oh, come on, just try it. I promise not to get mad when you do it." He pouted
slightly, the one thing sure to make his friend cave in.

"What if you start to change?"

"Gods can't be afflicted with the werewolf antibody," Giles said as he walked in, scratching his
chest. "He's right, I found it the other day but was hesitant to bring it up." He looked at his boss.
"Do be careful with your powers this time, Xander, we all know what happened the last time you
tried to do something major on your own."

"Hey! I've only had them the equivalent of a mortal year." He let his lower lip hang out just the
tiniest fraction of an inch. "I promise to be careful, how's that?" Giles nodded, a tolerant smile
on his face as he tweaked the outstanding lower lip. "Okay," Xander said, turning back to his
other assistant. "Change Oz, I can handle you."

The werewolf frowned at him. "If I hurt you too bad, I want to be hurt back," he warned.

"Oh, I will. I'll give you big tummy scratches," Xander told him, taking one last kiss. "Now
change! Hurry before we wake up Kitten." Oz just shook his head in disgust, no longer fighting
against the change, allowing it to happen. He growled at the people around him, backing away
from the dark haired one reaching for him. Then there was a bright flash that made him blink, and
they were in a bedroom.

Xander turned Oz toward the bed. They where in the only time Ares had left him alone, in that
space of time that folded back on itself before his Kitten had fixed it, again. He pushed the wolf
toward his young, newly godded self, exerting his own powers to make Oz want to bite his arm.
He winced as the bite happened, the young man on the bed howling as the pain woke him. He
took his Oz and left before the time flip could happen and trap them in an alternate dimension.

Oz slowly changed back to a normal man, looking down at himself in astonishment. "I'm me," he
said, looking up, his eyes big and wet with the happiness he felt. He hugged his friend, holding
him as tightly as he could. "Thank you," he whispered.

"More than welcome," Xander told him, rubbing down his back. "But we have to kill some more
time." He smirked as his assistant pulled back to frown at him. "Hey, it stopped this one but it
has to stop all of it and that'll take time. But if I bring you back right now, then you'll change
again and it'll be permanent because the anti-antibodies haven't cured it all."

Oz shrugged. "Okay, you're the God." He looked around at the deserted office. "When are we?"
He saw the small hesitant look. "Tell me we're in my lifetime?"

"Oh, yeah, we're definitely in my tenure here." He looked around, seeing the scrolls littering the
office. "As a matter of fact, I believe we just got back from my out of time training session with
Joxer, his best assistant, next to me, ever, and I'm about to fix the computer problem."

"Um, don't see one of those."

"That's the problem," Xander said dryly. "See those scrolls?" He pointed at the rack by the door.
"Each one is infinite, about a single culture. Everything they've ever done, believed, and fought
over is on those. And they're growing daily. I do believe we're about to see me go insane and
beg after trying to understand the Libyan one for the third time." He pulled Oz to him, cradling
him against his chest. "Just watch," he said, making them invisible and insensible.

A younger, immortal, Xander walked in, muttering about the scroll he was carrying. He looked at
the piles littering his office. "How did he do this?" he asked the air. "This is a wreck of a

"Hey," a younger Ares, God of War, said as he walked in, "it's worked for centuries, learn the

"But I can get someone to fix it so you have almost instant access to everything you'll need," the
younger Xander offered. "Please, Ares, let me fix the system before you have to miss another

"I thought that was half of your job," he said dryly, his fingers tapping against his leather pants.
"No. You've upgraded my life quite enough recently." He frowned at the corner the twosome
was hiding then shook his head. "Just deal with it," he muttered, storming out of the office.

"Sure I will," Xander said, sitting down and picking up the phone that he'd hidden in his desk.
"Hi," he said after dialing a number he'd seen last night on the tv that his God had connected for
his amusement. "No, I'm a personal assistant and I need some information sent to me so I can
convince my boss to upgrade." He leaned back in his chair, starting as he almost tipped. "No, he
needs a killer system with tons of memory. Should be relatively fast since he's got a *really*
short attention span, and he does cultural research. I'd say we're going to have to have *killer*
memory storage." He smiled. "Really? How much? Way cool. Can you send me some info?"
He nodded, quickly giving the computer person Giles' address since he could go down and pick it
up when he was down there next. "Thanks." He hung up, hearing the heavy footsteps that meant
his boss was coming back. "Ares, which people were going after the Libyans this time?" he
called, sliding the phone back into his desk.

"The British," he said, leaning against the door. "Who were you talking to?" he asked,
deceptively quiet and nice.


"Uh-huh." He made a fireball appear on the tip of one finger. "You want to change your

"You want me to call your Uncle?" the younger Xander countered sweetly, standing up. "Then
you can deal with this wreck of a system that wasn't meant to last past the end of the Roman
Empire?" He smirked as the fireball went away. "Didn't think so. I'm going to go visit, you
behave and I'll catch up on the local news while I'm down there." He wiggled his fingers and

"That boy," Ares muttered, walking away. "I'm going to kill him one of these days. Not even
Joxer was *that* mouthy and disrespectful."

Oz snorted, looking up at his friend, the older Xander. "Wondered how you tamed him."

"Oh, that's a much different story. You'll see that in a minute." He snapped his fingers and the
room around them started to zoom like a tape on fast forward. They both smirked as the younger
Xander had a few more words with Ares, at one point throwing the musty scrolls at him and
storming out. Then the computer showed up, followed by a young Xander in full mischief mode.
He had it hooked up before his boss even realized it was there and had tuned the portal beside his
desk to Hades' office, smiling sweetly at him. That's when the God of the Paranormal stopped the
tape. "Listen," he whispered into a delicate ear.

"Hades," the young, immortal Xander said sweetly, "I need to borrow some of your people for a
while. Can I come steal some?" The God of the Underworld leaned back in his chair, looking at
the setup behind the assistant and nodded. "Cool, I'll be right down." They followed the action,
ending up in Tartarus, watching the young assistant Xander look at the line of people waiting to
be classified. "Hey, I need some computer people," he called. A few heads went up. "I need
someone to set up a system and some people to input crap from some *really* long scrolls." A
few people stepped forward. "Okay, which one of you is the hacker?" he asked with a grin. A
young man in a Greatfull Dead t-shirt raised his hand with a small smirk. "Cool, you're in charge
under me."

Hades popped in behind the assistant. "If this works, I want you to do the same for me," he
whispered in the assistant's ear. "Just remember not to anger him too much, he's frustrated at
your battle planning." He popped them all back to the office, Xander right into Ares' arms.

"Hey boss," he said happily. "Give me ten days to convince you or it can be sent back." He gave
him his best smile. "I promise to make you more efficient and give you more time to go play with
your warriors," he said at the growing frown. "I won't pout for a whole week," he offered when
the frown turned to a glare. "Please," he begged, turning the true power of his big puppy eyes on
the God. "Just ten days? They'll do the work and I'll do my job." He blinked his eyes just once
and Ares stormed out, muttering about him. The immortal turned to his helpers. "You guys got
eight days to do this all and one day to teach me," he told them.

The hacker muttered something about not being Hercules.

Xander and Oz popped into the gym, giggling hysterically. "Oh, Xan," Oz told him, turning to
hug him tightly. "You are *so* good at doing that to him." He kissed his cheek. "How long did
it take them to input everything?"

"Three weeks and two days to teach me. But I had what he needed in five so he was happy. It's
all a matter of management." He kissed his assistant, then held him tightly. "I can feel your
contagion going away," he said sadly. "You won't be one of mine soon. You can choose another
God to serve." He pulled back, looking at his friend. "I'll miss you if you go."

"Hey, I'm not leaving you. I may go temp for ‘Dite when she asks again since you don't have so
much going on, but otherwise I'm here for you. Besides," he said with a small frown, "I have to
fix the screw up he puts into all his programs." His friend and boss looked confused. "He's a
hacker, we program. But he puts a flaw in all his, mostly it's a mark of him doing it, but it'll need
to be fixed before the millennium is up again."

Xander nodded, backing away. "You want his job as head compy person?" Oz shook his head.

"Nope, too much work. Just trying to teach Cupid the database system was too much for me."
He pulled his God closer, hugging him again. "Besides, I'd miss curling up behind your tight
butt." He grinned at the small kiss. "When are we now?"

"Well, you wanted to know how I tamed the big, bad God of War, so that's when we are. The
first part anyway." He pulled his assistant aside, rendering them unseen again. "Just watch," he
whispered. "This is a good one."

Ares popped in, yawning. "BRAT!" he yelled. No one came at his bellow so he tried again.
"PET!" But still, no one came. "XANDER! PRACTICE NOW OR DIE!"

"What?" the younger Xander said, walking in rubbing his eyes to clear the sleepiness from them.
"Give a guy the chance to brush his teeth first. Gods, what a grump. Try decaf yet?" He glared
at his boss, catching the sword then letting it drop. "Let's not perpetuate this myth anymore, all
right? Go get the new stuff and I'll show you how to use it." He weathered the glare with a
shield of indifference. "No one uses a *sword* anymore, sparky. Now go get the Laser tag
stuff." He waved him on, sitting down and tossing the sword out of his way. He lay back,
waiting on the God to get what they'd need, closing his eyes for a few seconds.

Hades popped in, trying hard to hold in his laughter at that. "Oh, yes, he's such a good
influence," he whispered to his nephew, who was really glaring now. "Such strength can only
help us all," he said, popping back out. His laughter followed him all the way back.

"Bad timing, Xander," Ares said, walking over to stand over top of his chest, glaring down at
him. "Get up!"

"Fuck off." The young immortal rolled onto his side, clutching the leg to his chest. "Nice bear."

Ares' mouth fell open as he stared down at his assistant in shock. "GET YOUR ASS UP AND
DON'T *EVER* ACCUSE ME OF BEING NICE AGAIN!" he bellowed, waking the young
Xander. "Now!"

"Shh!" And he flopped over onto his stomach, which was the worst thing he could do. Xander
woke up strapped down on a table, able to look over his shoulder at his nakedness and his boss,
who had a paddle. "If that touches me, you will regret it," he promised quietly. "I'm not your
toy." He winced as the first blow landed then wiggled his way out of the first set of straps,
ignoring the next few hits. By the time he was mostly free, he knew he wouldn't be able to stand
for long but he was going to kill his boss before he died. He got the last strap free, then flipped
off the bench, something he'd learned on his training trip back through time, landing behind his
boss, who simply turned to look at him blandly. And that was the last thing he saw that day.

Xander used all the skills he'd ever gathered to kick his boss's ass that one time, landing on top of
his chest and grabbing the sword that he kept at his side. "You stupid shit," he said quietly, eyes
blazing as the power entered him from the special sword. "You knew about my past and you did
it anyway." He stood up, looking down at his former boss. "There's not an act of any God that'll
make me give you this back." He materialized his clothes on him, using a trick his boss had
taught him no less, and walked out of the gym, healing himself as he went. He ignored the man
climbing up to follow him, slamming the door in his face.

"Wow," Oz whispered, looking at his friend. "Then what happened?"

"Then this," the Godly Xander said, snapping them out into the central meeting area, watching his
younger self walk out and take Ares' seat, the sword prominently showing.

Zeus cleared his throat. "Where's my son?"

"Hell for all I give a damn," the younger Xander said, looking up at him. "Why? Wanting to join
him?" He raised an eyebrow then looked around. "I took it from him, fairly I might add, it's mine
now." The word mine was almost purred and every other God there just nodded, going back to
what they'd been doing. Except Hera who was smirking. "Oh, I wouldn't," he told her quietly
since he was sitting next to her. "He's not getting it back. Never." He stood up. "I have more
important things to do than to listen to a whining session. Are we actually doing business today?"
Zeus shook his head slowly, frowning at him. "Good, I need a bath and a nap then." He winked
at Aphrodite and Hades, who he was sure had witnessed what he'd done, and walked back to his
temple. He walked into the strong arms of his former boss, and pushed him away. "If I'm feeling
nice later, you can have my old job," he told him, heading for the bathroom and locking himself in
it. A futile gesture since Artemis popped in behind him. "Privacy is a good," he told her, turning
to frown at her. "What?"

"Just wondering what you were going to do with it," she said, running a finger down his arm.

"Well, for one thing, I'm not compromising my principles. Get off." He turned back around,
going back to fixing his bath water how he liked it, almost smiling as he felt the power
displacement that meant she'd left. It fell away as he felt the much stronger one of someone older
coming in. "What?" he sighed, turning around, right into Hades' arms. "Hi," he said cheerfully.
"I'm going to bathe but you can stay and talk if you want."

"Actually, I think we need to." He made a chair appear and watched the newly minted God
disrobe and climb into the water. "So, why'd you do it?"

"Go check the scene," the younger Xander muttered. "I'm not putting up with his abuse. Period.
End of sentence." He looked at the door as it opened. "Thought I locked that," he muttered.
"Go away, Ares or I'm throwing your sword into Heph's fire."

Hades sighed, rubbing over his face with a tired hand. "You can't do that. The world needs War.
Bad things happen when it's not there as a balancing force." He looked at the young man. "Too
much good is the same as too much bad. The Inquisition proved that." He leaned closer, kissing
the young God's cheek. "We're here for you when you need us, you didn't need to stoop that

"It was a momentary flight of anger," the younger Xander admitted. "I wasn't doing what he said
so he paddled me. Tied me to a table and hit me," he whispered, squeezing the hand that was
suddenly holding his. "And I lost it. I kicked his ass using every dirty trick I know and then I
took it from him." He looked into the understanding eyes. "He knew what happened to me when
I was mortal and he still did it. I can't work under him anymore, even if I hadn't done this."

"I always have a place for you and so does my niece," Hades assured him, giving his hand one
last squeeze. "Give it back soon, okay?"

Xander nodded, closing his eyes and felt himself be left alone. He calmed himself down,
enjoying his soak, then got out, patting the bruises gently before bringing the clothes he liked
to go help Hades in to him to put on. He picked up the symbol of his Godhood, walking out into
their shared living room, tossing it at his boss as he walked past. "You're not worth it," he told
him, walking out and into the portal he knew would be there for him to go to help his friend.

Hades smiled. "That was quick." He looked at the new computer system on his desk. "Help me
learn this?"

"Sure bossman, whatever you need." He pulled another chair over. "Let's start with the easy
stuff. Turn it on."

Oz turned to look at his friend from their inconspicious corner where they'd popped to so he
could follow the action. "Wow." He felt the small squeeze so relaxed into his chest. "Then what

Godly Xander waved a hand at the picture and it fast forwarded again, but not by much. Ares
popped in and he slowed it back to normal speed. "That's what," he said quietly.

"Xander, come back," Ares said, leaning over him.

"Hades," Xander called. "Why don't you have a template for crimes of passion?"

"Make one," came the called reply from the air. "Do what you have to."

Xander nodded, typing in what he wanted quickly, then hit a button, watching as it uploaded. He
smiled at the new classification of crimes, checking it mentally for everything.

Ares cleared his throat. "Xander," he said again, this time louder.

"Go fuck yourself," he told him, going back to his typing. "I could never serve under you again
after what you did." He didn't even glance up to see the devastated look. "I warned you to
respect me or else. Welcome to or else." He uploaded another section, nodding at the list. Then
he looked at the pile of papers that landed beside his wrist. "What's this?"

"A promise." Ares sat on the edge of the desk. "That's a contract. If I get out of line, you'll have
things you can do to me. If you do, then I do, but nothing that harsh."

"That's nice," Xander said, pushing it away. "I'm too busy for your games, God of War. Go
away and let me work please."

Ares frowned at the young immortal. "Xander, I need you back before I get into another
worthless war. I almost let Bosnia go back up again." The assistant shrugged. "With the US.
Your friends were going to be called." He shrugged again. "All of them."

"Giles is too old and I have this feeling Oz isn't going to go either. Buffy wouldn't be called, the
draft doesn't include women and so Willow wouldn't either. Get over it." He did glance up then.
"Anything else?"

"Yeah, one thing," Ares said, sliding off the desk to pull the younger man up to face him. "I want
to talk to you, not to the side of your face."

"Feel lucky you're getting that much," he told the God in an icy whisper. "If it wasn't for your
Uncle asking me to listen when you showed up, you'd be ignored right now." He took his shirt
back, sitting back down in front of his self-appointed task. "Anything else?"

"No," Ares said, his patience at an end. "Nothing but this." And they both disappeared, but
Xander popped back a few seconds later, pulling his shirt out from under him as he went back to

"What was that?" Oz whispered.

"Hades intervened. He pulled me to ‘Dite's for her to spell me to like him." The Godly Xander
shrugged. "She refused, Hades saved me from Cupid and Bliss." He turned his friend back to the
work area, letting him watch what happened next.

Cupid popped in, holding his fussy son. "Xander, he wants you for some reason," he said,
handing the baby over. "Please watch him?"

"Sure, he's just teething." He stuck his finger in the baby's mouth, earning happy coos. "He
really wanted to chew on your wings again but you're being mean," young Xander said with a
small grin. "Didn't you sweetie?" Bliss looked up and grinned at him.

"Okay, you're good," Cupid told him, pacing in front of the desk. "Dad's going to ask me to
intervene though." He stopped to look at his son. "Just go back to him for a while?" The
immortal shook his head. "Not even if I ‘fix' his temperament for you?" That got an interested
look. "Hey, Mom and I have been working on this stuff to turn his snarlyness into a contented
purr where you're concerned and we think we've got it right." He took back his son. "Just one
last thing to add." He waved at the young man sadly as he disappeared.

Oz flinched as they ended up in the Hell part of Tartarus, looking up at his friend. "Did you
know about this?"

"No," older Xander sighed. "This was all ‘Dite's doing. She was convinced that I'd let him save
me." He shook his head. "The girl's bright but not that understanding of me." He waved at the
scene, fast forwarding through the boring waiting, stopping it as Hades walked in with a small

"I wondered why I couldn't send that soul here," he said as he unlocked the cage. "Which one
was it?"

"Cupid and ‘Dite, trying to make him panic and come for me." The young Xander shrugged.
"Knew it wouldn't work but no one asked me. Caught up on my napping though. This kinda
feels like home." He climbed out of the cage with a little help. "Thanks, Hades, I'll get back to
work now."

"No, I actually like their idea." He waved the young man away, and the scene shifted to a cage
above a river.

"Lethe water," Oz said in awe.

"Yup. His part of 'have Ares save me'." He fast forwarded through it, ending them back up in the
gym when Zeus had intervened by coming for him, stopping it as he started to speak.

"I'm sorry they did that, young man. That was an unforgivable way to treat you." He tried to
brush a hand over the dark hair but young Xander backed away from him. "Surely you aren't
afraid of me."

"No, but I don't want to be touched either. Why am I back here? I refuse to work for him again."

"Unfortunately, you have to. We need you to. He's gone silent, just sitting on his couch,
clutching a pillow and eating your ice cream." The Father of the Gods made a sour face. "It's up
to you to fix this, young man, and I expect you to."

"No, it's up to him to fix it. He's the one that started all this by hurting me."

"If you had listened...."

"Fuck listening. I deserve respect for all the crap I do for him and I'm demanding it. Deal with
it." He turned his back, walking out of the room. "I'm going for a walk somewhere where it
doesn't smell bad." There was a bright light and he found himself in Hera's garden, looking at
her. "What?" he sighed. "Zeus telling me it was my fault wasn't enough?"

She patted the bench next to her, handing him the basket of crumbs for her pet peacocks. "No, it
was too much. All the men's egos around here could use deflating sometimes, especially his and
Ares, but my son's ego has since disappeared." She looked at the young man disrupting her
family. "We could make you mortal again, Xander, put you back to the night you left so none of
it happened."

"No!" Ares said, popping in and clutching his assistant. "Do that and I'll retire to go be with
him." He glared at his mother. "How dare the rest of you interfere with my staff or my
problems." She laughed lightly, getting up and leaving them alone. Ares took the basket, tossing
it at his mother's head. "Bitch," he called after her. "You don't mess with what's mine!"

"Shut up!" young Xander said, standing up to get away from him. "I'm *so* not *yours*. I'm
my own man and I refuse to be a toy or a plaything or anything else like that."

"So take her up on her offer," he shouted at the immortal. "Go ahead, do it."

"It's really tempting. I miss my life." He looked around. "You scared the birds."

"Stupid things that they are, yes I did." Ares sat on the bench and pulled Xander to him with his
powers, sitting him on his knee. "I want you to come back and I can guarantee you'll be back in a
few years if you go back to being a normal mortal. You see, I can force you to be my assistant if
you're dead." He shook his head at the shocked look. "No, not by interference, by demon
uprising. You're not going to be so lucky one time." He stroked down the soft back. "I miss
you, pet." The back tensed. "Xander, listen, I like calling you that."

"You'd hate it if I did it to you, " he told him. "Kitten."

Ares grinned. "I like that. But only when it's just us."

"There is no us," Xander said, trying to get up. He was stuck to the leather, the God holding him
firmly in place. "Let me go," he said quietly. "I refuse to be dominated, especially by you."

"I only want to talk," Ares told him, letting him go. "See, no force. All I expect is a little respect
for me."

"I give you nothing *but* respect," Xander said hotly.

"Rolling over and falling asleep when I'm trying to spar is not respect."

"Yeah, it is. I was taking a break while you went to go get stuff so I could modernize you to the
real world." He saw a small path so started down it. "Later, I'm going to go cool down."

"If you walk that way, no one will ever be able to save you," the God warned, hopping up to stop
him. "That's Mother's path of torture," he said, catching him, clutching the young immortal to his
chest. "I don't want you to go down there. I'd miss you, pet."

"Kitten, shut up!" Xander pulled away, almost falling into a hole that appeared beneath his foot.
Fortunately, the God caught him, tugging him back into his arms. "I hate you."

"That wasn't me either," he said with a small smile. "That was Dad." He popped them back to
the gym. "We're back at that morning," he told him. "Let's start over." Xander sighed but
nodded, tossing his sword down. "Go get the Laser tag stuff," he said, obviously bored.

"No, I want to work some with this stuff first. I'm comfortable here." He tossed the sword back.
"Give me some time with this first then we'll work on the new stuff." The immortal looked at him
in awe. "Cupid told me what was wrong. Actually, he had me watch my grandson, who only
responded to a rational tone and quiet requests then told me that you and Bliss were about the
same when it came to me." He opened his arms. "Deal?"

"If you become a dictator," Xander started then nodded at the fear showing in the God's eyes.
"Deal." He held out a hand, wincing as it was shaken hard. "Hey, normal guy here, be gentle."

"So I'm learning." The God of War pulled him into a hug, his one allowed physical luxury with
his assistant. "Teach me how to play Laser Tag?" he whispered.

"If you teach me how to ride a horse better," Xander offered. He pulled back. "And if you quit
complaining when I try to update you to the modern reality."

"Hey, just go slowly and make sure I still have a touch of my old life. Nuclear missiles aren't half
as fun as a sword. You can't feel the sweaty body next to yours that way."

Xander shook his head. "No high pressure sales pitch, Kitten," he reminded him. "I'm not your
sex toy."

Godly Xander pulled he and Oz back to their routine time, sensing that the contagion was gone.
"Home again," he whispered, kissing the firm neck. He let the immortal pull him down onto the
bed he shared with his other assistant, seeing his consort there waiting on them. "Hi," he said,
rubbing over the stubbled jaw. "I fixed him."

"So I noticed," Ares said with a small purr. "Where were you?"

"Reviewing some things. Oz wanted to know how we got the computers and why I call you
Kitten so I showed him while we were waiting for the contagion to leave him." He cuddled his
friend to his chest. "We're all better now."

"So I can see but expect some flak."

"Your father can go leap," Xander murmured, snuggling into Oz's back harder. "Night."

Oz rolled his eyes as the quiet snores started. "Gee, teddy bear Oz," he quipped. He gripped
Ares' hand hard. "Never do that to him again."

"Hey, I promised him not to." He looked at the two sleeping bodies. "Come on, they can nap, I'll
show you some of the other stuff." He popped them both to the living room, glaring at the tv that
had been left on. "I asked him not to do that."

"Wasn't him," Oz said, pointing at the little body on the couch. "Hey Bliss," he said, walking
over to rub the baby's head. "Hi," he said when the incredible blue eyes opened to look at him.
"Aren't you in the wrong temple?" He grunted as he was flown into. "What's wrong?" The baby
babbled and cooed at him, snuffling his chest then laying down on it.

Xander walked in yawning. "Cupid must be having a fight again." He rubbed over the back of
the baby's head. "Want to come nap with me and Giles?" He smiled as the baby looked up at
him. "Want to come nap with me," he asked, holding out his arms, which were instantly filled.
"Oh, such a good baby. Come on, I know you like Giles. He's a comfy guy." He popped them
down to the bedrooms.

Ares groaned, rubbing his face. "The boy ought to be the God of Runaways and Counseling." He
looked at his consort's assistant, raising an eyebrow. "Bet you want to go help fix that, right?"
Oz nodded. "Okay, take my hand." And they popped into Cupid's temple, Ares diverting the
arrows that he sent at him. "Hey!"

Cupid blushed, looking at his father. "Hey, dad, Oz." He frowned at someone behind them.
"See, you woke other Gods."

"No, your son woke us," Ares said. Cupid glared at him.

"He's curled up between Xander and Giles," Oz told him. "We found him watching the tv and
napping on the couch." The winged God nodded, shoulder's slumping. "What's up?" He shook
off the God of War, going over to help the younger, still pretty hip God of Love. "Want to talk?"

"No, I want one less mother." He glared at where she was leaning against a wall. "Slut."

"Hey, Psyche came to me, sweetie, not the other way around." Aphrodite shrugged and popped
out in a shower of sprinkles, the kind that go on top of ice cream.

"And yet again she messes up my temple," Cupid muttered, waving a hand and cleaning the mess
up. "So, you're different. What happened? Your pet God find a cure?" He popped them all to
his living quarters, settling them on big, plush pillows.

"Yeah, I had to go bite him," Oz said. The God of Love nodded. "Saw you screwing in his life

Cupid laughed. "Oh, you had to go back *then*." He smiled at the immortal. "Oz, you have no
idea about how many times I've screwed in his life. He wouldn't have been receptive to Dad at all
if I hadn't done it a few times." He saw the stereo frowns. "No, not like that. Just a general
interest spell. Just enough to make him willing to listen no matter how pissed and ready to die he
was." His father smiled at him before sending a small spark at his shoulder. "Hey, I don't hit you
with my powers."

"Good thing too," Oz said. "Does he know that?"

"Yeah, I told him I was going to do it to relieve the stress between them before it killed us all."
Cupid shrugged, his wings extending for a second then settling back in their usual position curled
around his arms. "He knew, but I know better than to meddle with him now." Oz nodded at the
sour look. "Didn't tell you?"

"No, not a bit. What happened?"

"Well, it was back during the training time Ares did with him out of time, back in Ancient Greece
actually, when I was young and cocky and willing to go that last few inches for people." He
raised an eyebrow, holding out a hand. "Want to see? Grandad won't yell for viewing, only for
meddling." Oz took it and they left in a flash of light, back to Ancient Greece.

Cupid pulled the immortal into the same position Xander had had him in earlier. "Just watch and
don't talk," he whispered. "You could majorly screw things up right now."

The immortal Xander stormed into the God of War's bedroom, slamming the door against the
wall and startling the woman in the God's bed. "Some of us are trying to *sleep*!" he yelled.
"And you're *broadcasting*!" He stormed back out, slamming his own door.

Ares looked at the woman, grimacing. "Got to go fix that before he pulls me into another Trojan
War." He popped out, and they followed, to where Ares was now sitting beside the young man
on the bed. "Xander," he said, again. "I'm sorry. I didn't even know I was doing that."

"Sure." The immortal rolled over. "Do I look that stupid to you?" Ares smiled but shook his
head. "Good, then keep your sex life outta my head!" He rolled back over, pulling a pillow
down to cover his ears.

"You know, you could join us," he said, ducking the pillow that came flying at his head. "Oh,
come on, it's not that unusual. All the other assistants do it."

"Am I them?" he asked snidely, flipping back over. "Do I look like some little, grateful worshiper
who begged for your attention and then got my job by being good in bed?" The God shook his
head. "Then no, I'm not going to sleep with you, not now, not ever, not even if all of Tartarus
freezes over." Xander stood up. "You stay, I'm going to play games." He wandered out,
heading for the tv in the corner and the game system, flipping it on and restarting the game he'd
saved before going to bed. "Die suckers," he muttered, shooting the bad guys.

Ares groaned, still in the bedroom and looked up. "‘Dite," he called softly, closing the door.

She appeared without sparkles, tugging on her top to settle it better. "You just had to yell while I
was taking a nap, right?" she asked, looking around. "Where's the kid?"

"Ignoring me." He lay back on the bed, relaxing. "I want him, sis, badly. Really badly." She
nodded. "So I need your help."

"Hey, I don't want him to hate me. I like the kid." She lay down beside him, resting on his
shoulder and yawning. "You're going to have to wear his cute butt down."

"He doesn't want me."

"Want me to ask Cupie?"

Ares smiled this really mean and vicious smile. "Please. I'm sure our son could get through to
him." He looked down at the loudly snoring body in his arms, shaking his head. "Never mind,
I'll do it." He popped into Cupid's temple, lighting the candles laying around. "Cupid!" he
bellowed. He was assaulted by a small flying body. "Bliss! NO!" he said, ducking his attempted
hugging. "Get off! Go play with my assistant or something, he could use a hug." The baby
finally caught him, landing on top of his head and clinging to his back to hug and nibble on him.

"Bliss," Cupid said dryly, "you know you're not supposed to chew on him. You'll get a bad taste
and lose your sunny disposition." The baby cooed from his perch. "Come on, go to bed or go
play with Xander and Joxer." The baby popped out, laughing madly. "Okay, why are you here
at this seriously early hour?" Cupid leaned against the doorframe, looking at his father. "Missed
a few things too," he said, giving a pointed look at the undone pants.

Ares waved and he was immaculately dressed again. "Sorry, but it's important. I need you to fix
him. Just to make him receptive." His son raised an eyebrow. "Just to me but receptive."

"Dad, I won't do that. He asked both me and Mom specifically not to interfere." He crossed his
feet, his wings wiggling a little. "You know he's set rules and you agreed to live by them. He's
not like the others and we both love him for that." He yawned. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I need
to go back to bed."

"Just make him listen to my offer," he said quickly. "I'll babysit."

"You'll end up doing it anyway unless he comes here to live with Mom and help her," Cupid
threw over his shoulder as he walked back into his bedroom. "Night Dad."

Ares growled and his son popped his head back out. "Just the one time, just enough to let me
state my case."

Cupid waved him off, shutting the door. "Fine! Just go away!"

Ares smiled, popping back to his own temple, looking at his two assistants, who were playing
with the baby. "Why doesn't he slobber on you?"

"Because he thinks Joxer tastes funny, and he likes my fingers," Xander said, not looking up.
"Yeah, you're just a little drooly but you'll be fine once all your teeth come in." He patted the
baby's head. "Did you need something?"

"Only to talk to you. Let him handle Bliss."

"Nope. I'm comfy." Xander looked up, glaring. "It's not like I got any *sleep* or anything."

Joxer laughed, taking the baby and running away before either of them could be caught in the
middle. "Night guys," he called as the door down to the office closed.

Xander hoisted himself up onto the couch, laying down and pulling the throw over himself. "Go
away, I need a nap," he muttered.

"All I need for you to do is listen," Ares said, leaning down to look at him. "Everyone else does."

"I'm not everyone else, and I won't become everyone else. I'm not a sheep, Ares." He rolled onto
his other side, closing his eyes again and snuggling into the comfortable cushions harder. "Good

Cupid popped in, frowning at the young immortal. "Son?" he asked, sprinkling some dust over
his head.

"Joxer. That better not be something to make me jump people."

"Nope, just to let you listen."

"Don't care, don't want sex with him. Only with people who respect me as an individual."
Xander yawned, opening an eye to look at the God of Love. "Leave it alone, Cupid, or I'm going
to tell your wife you hit on me too."

Cupid smiled. "Me?" he asked innocently, popping away with an, "I tried."

Ares popped himself under the young human's head, running his fingers through the now sparkly
hair. "All I'm asking for is for you to listen to me."

"I have been but you're not. I refuse to do the cheesy one night stand anymore and I don't want
to fuck you so go ‘way." Xander closed his eyes. "That is nice though. You can keep doing

"Ah, you're a tactile person."

"No, I'm a cuddler but you're not going to get any. Go ‘way, Ares, let me sleep. Before *I* go

"Joxer's not insane, not yet anyway," he said quietly, continuing to stroke through the dark hair.
"Why won't you let me touch you?"

"You're too big a risk."

"Oh. But what if I promised to behave? Hugs only? No more pressure to sleep with me? Well,
maybe next to me, but not being topped by me."

"Wouldn't happen anyway but sure, hugs are fine." Xander sat up, glaring at his boss. "What
did he give me?"

"Just something to make you listen to the whole offer," he said gently, pulling the young immortal
back down to rest on his shoulder. "You sleep, pet, and I'll be here."

Xander got up, heading for his room and slamming the door, and they popped in after him to
watch him frown at the woman on his bed again. "Don't you have a home?" he asked snidely.
Aphrodite blinked, looking up at him in confusion. "Hiding again?"

She nodded. "Yup, come sleep." She patted the bed. "I promise to be good." She yawned,
flipping over as he crawled in and pulled the covers over himself. He heard the snap, looking
down at the soft, silky pajamas he now wore. "Gee, not even my birthday."

"Leather hurts to sleep in," she mumbled, then started to snore.

"Gee, this is familiar," he said, closing his eyes and falling back to sleep himself.

Cupid took he and Oz out of the present time, landing them in the God of War's living room
behind Joxer, looking at the young immortal. "Then something bad started to happen," he
whispered, pointing. "Never sleep next to Mom when she's feeling lonely."

Xander, the one back then, walked into the room, yawning and stretching. He felt the gazes on
his stomach so pulled down his t-shirt, looking around. "What? Can't a guy be tired? She

Joxer grinned. "Oh, yeah, she does doesn't she?" He handed over a piece of fruit. "Come on, I'll
teach you the filing system if you're ready."

"Sure." Xander followed him down to the office, stepping over the scrolls carefully. "Gee, mess

"No, complicated war with cross referencing." He shrugged. "Not my favorite task." He looked
at the person who would be replacing him in the future. "So, what happened to me anyway?"

"All I know is that you got fed up with Ares and begged Hades to help you." The younger man
shrugged. "Boss didn't tell me more than that. Well except for the driving him insane part." He
grinned. "But I think after a decade with him that it's an improvement."

Joxer laughed, sitting down. "Oh, it's mutual, believe me." He waved a hand at a scroll.
"Everything you'll need to know about each people is here. Each scroll is another...."

Cupid popped them to a new time, when Ares was leaning down to look at a scroll Xander has
spread out for him, clutching Oz tighter to his chest and wrapping his wings around them both for
comfort. "I screwed up majorly," he whispered, "and it's about to show."

Ares frowned at the piece of sheepskin. "Why do you think I should help then drop out?"

"You get a war, less people die in the long run, and you get to sit back and watch them flounder."
The assistant hopped up on the table, looking at his boss. "If you start to back one side then drop
it suddenly, at the right point, and stand back to watch them fight it out, there's a better chance of
it not lasting for thirty years. Maybe one or two instead. Brief flashes of conflict instead of
lifetimes of it."

"And what do I get out of this?"

"Well, you get more prayers for one, and if you feel like it, you can always rejoin for a battle or a
campaign or something. See," he said, pulling his leg up under his other one, and incidentally
showing off exactly what the leather was hiding, "you get to start a war, make your presence
known, but then if you back out suddenly, just drop a side, maybe telling them it isn't worthwhile
or something, then you can sit back and become the God of Leisurely Watching Wars insteada the
guy who goes out to fight them. And let's face it, history says you weren't there, not even under
that other name."

"Okay," Ares said, rubbing over his face. "So say I do this. I pick a side, then drop it. Humanity
loses faith in me then stops believing in me then I die, right?" Xander shook his head. "No?"

"Nope, because you only do this occasionally, with good reasons given when you back out. You
go on like before with some of the wars then you *tease* through the others, picking a battle here
or a warrior there to help." He grinned. "You get more time and you get to manage more than
just let it flow and kill everyone. This way, you can put it onto the followers, the ones who you'll
tell that it isn't a war worthy of you or whatever. Besides, why do you want to get into religious
wars?" Immortal Xander hopped down, bracing against his boss's shoulder to do so. "See,

"Maybe, but I'm still not sure."

"So try it in a small, unimportant one that'll go on forever if you don't intervene," Xander coaxed
with a small grin. "Just grab it and stare down destiny."

"You are a tease," Ares said hotly, grabbing his assistant and kissing him hard. "I know those
pants aren't that tight," he whispered against the lips.

Xander pulled back. "Whoa. I said none of this stuff. Hugs and diving for my stomach with
your tongue are two different things." He glared at his boss, seeing the strange look in his eyes.
"What's up with you anyway? You were paying more attention to my ass than you were the battle

"I don't know, but I want you," the God of War said, pulling him closer. "You smell good."

"Damn," Xander said, using what little power he was allowed to pop away from his boss, heading
for Cupid. "What did you do to me?" he panted, looking at the God of Love, and his Mother
since they were eating together. "Ares got this really strange look then he tried to grab me."

Aphrodite looked at her son. "I slept next to him. What did you do?"

"I put some of that receptivity dust..." He frowned. "You slept next to him?" He looked at the
immortal. "You slept with my mom?"

"No, I shared a bed with her, nothing else. I couldn't get her to move off my bed. She was out of
it. The closest I came to ‘sleeping' with your mom was ending up cuddled on her shoulder, man,
get over it." He looked at Aphrodite, then quickly hid behind her when he felt the God pop in
behind him. "Ares! No!"

"Oh, come on," he said, pulling his assistant to him, clutching him to his chest. "You know you
want it."

"No, I don't want it," Xander said, pushing him away as he backed up, into Cupid's arms.

"Dad, we goofed, he's radiating love. You need to go take a bath. A cold one." The two Gods
shared a heated look over the immortal's head. "Go," he said quietly. "I won't let him be
touched." Ares nodded, popping out and Cupid turned the young man around. "Xander, this is
important. Have you showered since I put the dust on you?" The young man nodded slowly.
"How many times?"

"Um, twice. I couldn't get the dust off." He looked at the God of Love. "How bad did you

"We could steal you to become one of ours," Aphrodite said, standing up to walk over to them.
"Shh, sweetie, we'll fix it. It wasn't the third time you bathed so it's curable." She brushed over
his face. "So sweet," she purred.

Cupid popped them out of there, ending up in the mortal realm in front of a river. "Strip and get
in," he said quickly, looking around. He saw the hesitation. "Just do it, this is diluted Lethe
water and it'll take the spell off. Hurry, before Unc get's here." He turned the boy around to face
the water. "Now please."

Xander stripped as quickly as he could, hopping into the cold water, and yelled, "Damn!"

Hades stepped out from behind a bush. "What did you do now, Cupid?" he asked the young God.
"Why are you subjecting him to this?"

"I dusted him with receptivity dust and then mom slept in the same bed with him," he said with a
small grin only his Great-Uncle saw. "We could claim him now."

"Gee, unrequited lust," Ares said, popping in. "Not a chance, kid." He held out a towel to his
assistant, who backed away from him. "Just dunk yourself a few more times to make sure you
rinse clean then I'll take you home and dress you." Xander shook his head, glancing at Hades.
"No, you can't go running to them. Get over it." He popped the young man out of the water and
into the warm towel he held. "Son, I will get you for this."

"Uh-huh," Xander said, stealing the towel and backing away from his boss. "You *asked* him to
do this, you can't yell at him because it screwed up. If you hadn't asked, then we'd be fine and I
wouldn't be radiating lust." He looked up at the branches overhead, looking at the birds screwing.
"Oh, no," he whispered, heading back into the water. "Not the season for that," he said from the
chill water.

Cupid looked up at the birds, smiling openly now. "Very true." He held out a hand to the young
man. "Come on, let's go see if we can't fix you." He stole the immortal before either of the senior
Gods could pounce him once he was clear of the water. They all ended back up at his temple, the
young man dry and dressed in warm, soft clothes that accented his body. "Sorry, all I have," the
God explained at the distressed look. "Come on, you can stay with me for a few days until it
wears off." He led him to a bedroom, opening the door and letting him walk in of his own free

"Night, pet," he said, closing the door and locking it magically. He walked away whistling.

"Gods, why me?" Xander asked, sitting in the middle of the floor. "What did I do to deserve
this?" He looked up as he heard the soft laughter. "Aphrodite, you've got to save me," he

"Sorry, sweetie, I can't even get the door to open," her voice floated down around him. "Just give
it a few days to wear off. I'm sure Cupie will be sweet to you."

Xander moaned, curling up in a little ball of misery.


Cupid pulled Oz and himself back to their normal time. "Wasn't the most pleasant mess I've
created," he said with a small sigh, cuddling the immortal on his couch.

Oz looked at him. "How'd it end?"

"With him in velvet ropes, tied to the bed as I seduced him. Right before Dad got there and
spanked my ass, literally, for it." He grinned. "Then we all had a small meeting where Xander
couldn't see and decided to work it out without him." The God of Love smiled. "That was the
best orgy we've had up here in millennium."

Oz shook his head. "Xander's a trouble magnet."

"No, he's not half the one he used to be. That was the last time he got into real trouble." He
grunted as a body hit his lap. "Yes, you," he said, kissing the God of the Paranormal's cheek.

"I was an innocent bystander, that was you, Ares, and your mom." Xander blinked at his
assistant. "Hi," he said with a small smile. "We've been called to a small meeting, want to

"Sure," Oz said, hugging him hard. "But in a while, ‘kay?" That got a grin. "You sure?"

"Hey, I said it was only done with me out of love. I love you, and Giles, and Ares. And okay, I'll
admit to lusting after Hades for a while," he said with a bigger grin, "but I'm a good boy and
that's it." Oz nodded so he gave him a kiss. "Come on, let's go listen to whatever Zeus has to
complain about." He popped them all to the meeting area. "Sorry," he told Cupid, getting off his
lap and going to his own seat, where Giles was waiting on them. "We were talking about past

Hera smiled at him. "Yes, we noticed." She looked at her husband, her smile falling away.
"Unfortunately, this isn't a good meeting for levity."

Zeus cleared his throat. "As some of you may know, the Goddess of Lust died recently."
Everyone gasped, some shaking their heads. Giles took Xander's hand in his to squeeze. "We
need a replacement for her duties. She was the Goddess over lusty feelings and dreams and over
sexual knowledge." Aphrodite cleared her throat. "No, daughter, you have enough to do right
now. The world needs more love. Your brother's ways have taken over for too long and you
need to exert your powers more." The Father of the Gods looked at the small couch where the
youngest God was sitting. "You don't have much to do, Xander."

"And I'm not qualified either," he reminded him. "It's not like I'm into orgies and things."

Hera smiled. "This is purely over thoughts and feelings, something you excel at. Surely you
could take on the extra duties until such a time as a new God could be named."

"No," Xander whined. "Please not me. Give it to an assistant. See, you could give it to one of
mine," he offered. "Just temporarily." He begged Hera with his eyes but she shook her head.
"Why me?"

"Because you're suited and you're not busy," she said with a small, mean smile, "and you seem to
get along well with your bosses."

Cupid raised a hand. "This is because I screwed up that spell, right?" His Grandmother nodded,
smiling sweetly at him. "But he's not suited. He's much too uptight over sex."

"Then he'll have to get over it," Zeus said, pointing at Xander and sending a bolt of energy at him.
"Arise, God of Lust."

"Shit," Xander said, forced to stand. "How long before I can hand it off?" Hera simply smiled
and disappeared. "Great," he muttered, looking at Cupid. "Now what?"

"Now, sweetie," Aphrodite said, smiling at him. "We need to get you into some better clothes."
She waved a hand and his usual outfit of gauzy cotton pants and silk tank top appeared on him.
"Much better." He looked down and frowned. "Oh, come on," she cooed. "Your assistants can
help." She popped them all, including Ares, to her temple, settling them onto the soft, plush
pillows. "Now then, do you know what your duties are?" The newly minted double God nodded
slowly. "Good, so what's the problem? You ooze sex appeal. Go play in the mortal realm to
cause sex."

Oz cleared his throat. "If he does that, won't it cause massive orgies?" Cupid smiled at him,
nodding. "Uh-huh. And with his past, you're going to let him go alone?"

Ares glared at the other two elder Gods. "Not a chance in Tartarus," he told them. "Zeus only
did this because he won't fuck him into the mountain beneath us. This is a punishment."

"So, lets go punish them," Xander said, standing up, holding a hand out to his lover. "Come on,"
he said at the hesitation. "I'm sure we can go have some... fun," he said with a small lick across
his bottom lip that made Ares instantly hard. "Come on, lets go play."

Ares and Xander found themselves in the middle of a crowded dance floor, the younger God
moving to the music seductively. "This isn't so bad," he whispered to his lover. "I can make
people hot." Ares nodded, smiling at him, taking him in his arms to move them closer together,
brushing his leather against the cotton and silk. Xander laughed freely, tossing his head back as
his lover kissed the indent under his adam's apple, feeling great joy at the moment.

The music changed getting slower, more of a bass beat to it, and the couples and groups around
them started to get a little more into it, brushing and rubbing themselves now. Xander winked at
his fellow God as she appeared behind them, turning in Ares' arms to tease her too. "Liking
much, ‘Dite?" he asked, holding out a hand so she joined them.

"This isn't what Dad meant," she said quietly, resting in their arms and moving with them. "He's
going to kill you."

"Yay, he shouldn't have given me the power then, huh?" Xander said, nipping at the pulse point
on her throat, then stepping back to watch her shiver. "Gee, happies?"

"Many people getting them," she agreed, locking onto his mouth.

"Get off him," Ares growled. "Mine." He turned Xander around, possessing his mouth hard.
"No sharing."

"Pretty Kitten," Xander purred, "just teasing, its the job now." He licked over the tense point of
his lover's chin. "Just relax and tease with me babe." He rested his head on the taut shoulder,
watching the groups around them fall to the floor in a mass orgy. "See, this is the new job." He
looked up into the smokey dark eyes of his consort. "Of course, if I can only tease...." he let the
rest of the sentence fall off, knowing Ares had caught the implications.

"I'll be damned," the God of War said, popping them back to Olympus. "No way in Hell father!"
he yelled in the meeting area. "I'm not letting you take him from me." Zeus popped in, staring
blandly at his son. "I'm not letting you take my consort from me, he's mine and only I can say
who he shares with." They started a staring contest. Until Xander cleared his throat.

"Kitten, we've talked about this," he purred, brushing a hand down the firm chest. "Of course, I
need to have more control so I'm going to have to start exerting around here too," he said with a
small grin. "We don't want the God of Teases to do what he just did down in Orlando, do we?"
Ares looked down at him, a mean smile slowly spreading. "So, Zeus," he said, turning to the
Senior God. "Why don't you ever want to have sex again?" He smiled sweetly, flooding the
meeting area with his new powers. "Oops, keep forgetting the control." He winked at Hera as
she popped in with a frown. "We all know that teases can't participate," he told her. "You don't
have to worry about him *any more*," he purred, sliding into Ares' arms to be held against his

Cupid popped in, laughing hard and clutching the pair. "Oh, Xander, you're too much," he said
kissing his cheek. "But I'll support you with this since I'm over actual sex. Oh, and I fixed that
situation you created in Orlando before Mom had too much fun."

Zeus growled. "Fine!" he spat, waving his hand at the young God. "It's not your duty anymore."

Hera cleared her throat. "I actually liked him in that role," she told her husband. Ares glared at
her. "Of course, only if he could turn it off for you, dear." Xander shook his head. "Ah, yes, you
do still lack control."

"Let's not mention his first real use of power, shall we?" Oz said, walking in. He punched his
friend's arm. "Mean. I was about to get some." He got a small kiss for it. "Okay, we got to talk,
chaste boy. Pop us somewhere private."

Xander snapped his fingers and then blushed as every toilet on Olympus started to overflow.
"Oops, did it again," he said, blushing. "Sorry," he said, grabbing Oz and taking them back to
the mortal realm to a forest. "What's up?" he asked, leaning against a tree and changing back to
his leathers so he could sit down.

Oz giggled, leaning against the tree for support. "Gods, Xan, why do you do that?" He fell over
onto his friend's lap, clutching him for support. "Thank you, it was a dull day," he whispered as
he caught his breath. "Wow. You really should have some control over things."

"Yes, he should," a woman said from beside them, sword drawn. "Who are you?"

Xander looked up, grinning. "Hey, Xena." He helped Oz off his lap then looked at her. "No
Gaby?" She just frowned at him. "Okay, I screwed us up majorly, Oz, let's go." He looked back
at her. "Just an accident of a new God popping in at the wrong time," he told her, trying to
soothe her anger. "Oz," he whispered, taking his hand and popping them to a different time.

They both looked around then shook their heads, popping away before the dinosaur could eat
them. "Damn, need more control," Xander said as he popped them back where they'd been. "Hi
again, really big screw up."

"Try a few years from now," Oz told him dryly. Xander nodded and popped them again.
"Okay," he said, sitting down against the stump where the tree had been. "What's up with you?"


"Yes, you. You never used to be chaste boy. Every time I'd walk into your place, you'd have to
hide your masturbating." He pulled his friend down to sit next to him, hugging him hard. "What
happened while I was gone that turned you into uber-uptight-virgin guy?"

"There was this guy and he ... he blackmailed me into his bed," Xander said quietly. "I promised
myself to never do the cheap thing ever again once I left." He pulled back to look at his friend.
"I'm sorry if it disturbs you, Oz, but I can't do that with just anyone. I have to have the feelings

"Hey, I can understand. Devon's a good one about doing people while we're drunk." He brushed
a hand through the dark hair. "But you're so different now, Xan, and I want to understand. Did
this person hurt you that badly?" The young God nodded. "How?"

"He forced me to suck him, Oz, it never got more than that on *my* side." He snuggled into the
welcoming chest. "I refused him anything else, told him to go ahead and tell, that I'd tell him
what he'd done."

"Who was he?"

"The new mayor," the God whispered. "Found me at a club and had people watch me."

"Then we should go punish him."

"Won't change it, Oz, I'm still damaged."

"Shh, Xander, you're no more damaged than I am." He saw the startled look so smiled sadly.
"Devon really does hit on people when they're drunk." He was clutched hard, sighing at the
welcoming heat. "I know, and so do you, that we can't let this stuff change us or they win."

"True," Ares, the one from that time as evidenced by the short hair and beard/mustache that he
wore, said as he popped in. "But there are other considerations also. He needs punished,
Xander." He smiled at Oz. "I don't think we met. Ares."

"Oz, his assistant. And yeah, I know. He and Ares are still together."

"Ah, and what are your duties now? The last time I saw you, you were an immortal assistant."


"Almost God of Cockteasers," Oz noted, earning him a small smile. "But he's right, Xan, you
gotta punish him, make him learn his lesson before he hurts others."

"I know, but I don't want to be vengeful and mean."

"So, make one of your minions do the same to him," Ares suggested, popping out as his older self
popped back in.

"You know, Dad's throwing a fit over you right now," he said, sitting down next to them. "About
all this time travel you seem to be doing."

"Accident," Xander said. "I don't have any control at all."

"Hey, no one's changing anything," he said. "No fields of stuff, no making people do things."

"Um, Xena," Xander said quietly. He turned to his consort. "Told her it was a new God accident
when she ran into us." He smiled hopefully. "Not too bad of a switch?"

"No, it didn't affect her at all, she was dosed with Lethe water when she almost didn't go pillage a
town." Oz gave him a confused look. "If she didn't go there, then Callisto would have ended up
being a housewife and mother and history would have been severely altered." He held out a hand.
"Not that I wouldn't mind having Strife back." He smiled fondly in remembrance. "Come on, lets
go home and work on your control. Right after you apologize for the mess you made," he added
with a small grin. "Oh, Mom was *so* pissed at you."

Oz grinned, starting to laugh again. "This makes what, four times now?"

"Yup," Xander said, grinning and giggling himself now. He kissed each of them. "Okay, let's go
home. We can figure out the punishment issue later."


Xander looked really contrite as he faced the other Gods, hiding his smile as best he could. "I
don't know why my control isn't better but I'm really sorry for making everything overflow.
Again," he added. Hera waved him to come closer so he did, carefully.

"Young one, we all had problems with our control at first, but I think you even beat Strife's
record." She kissed his cheek. "Just try harder not to do that. Please." He nodded and popped
out, the reflecting pool getting a little wave to it.

"Maybe he's Poseidon's," Oz quipped as he and Giles left together.

"He does seem to have this affinity for water," the former Watcher noted. "We'll simply have to
help him with this."

They walked into the front of their temple, stopping when they saw the water flowing around
their ankles. "Xander!" they yelled.

"Sorry!" floated out of the living quarters and the water turned to sand. "Better?"

"NO!" Ares shouted, coming back in. "Now the place looks like a big litterbox! Clean it up!"

"But Kitten," Xander called.... then screamed, running from his lover before he could tickle him.

Giles shook his head, pulling some of his not-often-used magic to him to clean up the mess.
"There," he said quietly, "much nicer again."

"Thanks," Oz said, hugging him. "Come on, have to fix the boss and make the idiot pay for what
he did to him." He saw the mean smirk. "You did?"

"Quite. It seems he didn't want it to be known he was half demon or that he was sleeping with a
fourteen year old prostitute." He took his fellow assistant's arm. "Very nice pictures they were
too. He was most embarrassed." They both flinched as a toilet flushed. "Please, not again," he
prayed quietly.

"I'll talk to Ares about putting in an automatic block and flush spell," Oz soothed, shaking his
head as they headed for where they could hear the video game starting.

"Done already," Ares said with a smile as he maneuvered his character through the maze shooting
people for fun as he went. "That was just a test run. Everyone else put one on too after Cupid
suggested it." He paused the game, pulling Giles down into his lap. "Now then, since you have
to help me sometimes too, you need to learn how to do this."

"So do you," Oz noted. "You'll be out of ammo when you need it." He picked up the other
controller, restarting the game. "Okay, let's teach Giles violence." He paused the game.
"Where's the boss?"

"Tied to the bed. Cupid's theory had some merits." Ares grinned wickedly. "I'll go deal with
him after his nap."

To Be Continued...

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