Returns.
 
 
 

Xander looked around the town, letting the grief wash over him for a moment.  This was not going to be a happy trip home.  But it had to be done.  There was no telling what demons were hoarding around here.  And maybe John would let the Council have some as an apocalypse vault?  Well, maybe he could talk him and Tony into it.

He went to his first stop.  He knew there were weapons there, he had raided it.  The armory was still there.  He checked, his phone had a signal.  Just in case he needed help.  He walked onto the old base, grimacing at the ruins of the buildings.  And personal stuff.  That wasn't good.  He opened the armory's door, looking inside.  "Shit," he muttered.  That was not his decision to make.  So he called.  "John, I'm at the armory as a first stop.  No one came back to get personal items that got left behind or their armory's contents.

"Yeah, I'm thinking this is a job for someone official, not a hunter.  I'm here.  I might be in the tunnels later but I'm here."  He hung up and closed that door, walking out and down the street.  It was twisted and crooked now.  It was very depressing how silent it was here.  Not even crickets in the grass.  Very few flies.  Those he mostly found near dead pets that hadn't been evacuated.  He wanted to cry.

***

John rushed into the comm center, going to the system to call the main base.

"What are you doing?" Woolsey called from behind his desk.  He came out to see what his military head was doing *this* time.

"Xander's packing things in Sunnydale."

"Is there an emergency?"

"No one ever cleaned out the National Guard's armory or their personal stuff."

Woolesy groaned.  "So there's heavy weapons there?"

"Beyond that probably."  Landry came up on the screen.  "Sunnydale's Guard base is still standing?"

"It is?"

"Yeah.  Xander said it's got personal effects and an armory."

"Crap."  He leaned back.  "How big?"

"No clue, sir.  Tony talked Xander into going back to search for weapons that anything or anyone else might've had stored.  Just in case.  He started there to make sure it was clear."

"I'll get Carter out to help him.  She's good in that sort of situation."

"Want some of our people?" Woolsey asked.  "Or are we going to be handing them to his husband in NCIS?"

"No, that one said you guys could keep anything too big Harris found or bought by accident.  They were to paddle him if he *bought* anything that big or stole anything that big unless it was for an apocalypse."

"Agreed.  Should I give him bigger quarters to store it all since the...birthday present is in his room?"

Landry looked at John.  "You're storing it?"

"It's safer."

"No, the rest can hit the armory since there's no clear ownership.  I doubt anyone's dumb enough to step forward and claim anything that they find.  Let me get Carter out of the lab."

"Sir, it's Sunnydale," John said quietly.  "Will she be able to handle it if a demon shows up?"

"That's a good point.  SG-1 could use some less stressful trekking in the sun.  Make sure one of the parties gives me an inventory."  He hung up, going out of his office.  "Get SG-1 in the conference room.  They're going off base on a mission."  His secretary paged them.  He went back to the desk to call the Council.  "Mr. Giles please."  He was transferred over.  "Mr. Giles, General Landry, over John Sheppard's project.  I'm calling to inform you that your boy found our armory out there still had things so we're going to be in Sunnydale to clean that out and possibly to help your boy if he needs it."

He smiled, leaning back in his chair.  "He stopped there first in case.  He knew he shouldn't touch it.  No, I believe his other husband threatened to paddle him if he touched military weapons again," he said blandly.  "I did hear about the birthday present.  John is holding it for him so it's not on US soil and won't get him arrested."  He smirked.  "Yes, I'm sending in a team.  He already knows one of them and has worked with her when the NID came to try him that time.

"Yes, Sam Carter.  Tonight probably.  He's already there.  Thank you.  Do we have any current maps?"  He nodded.  "That's good, please do.  I can send you one, sir.  Thank you."  He hung up and sent him an email.  That way they could get maps and things back.  He got a message with attachments a few minutes later, pulling them up and sending them to the printer in the conference room.

***

Sam walked in last, hearing the printer going.  She pulled things off.  "Looks like we are going off base unless Sunnydale is now through a gateway."  She put the maps on the table.

"How do you know?" Cam Mitchell, the new team leader asked.

Daniel pointed.  "Sunnydale Armory."

"Oh.  Didn't see that."  Sam grinned at him.  The general walked in.  "Sir, we're going off base?"

"Agent DiNozzo at NCIS asked Mr. Harris to go back home to see if there were any stored weapons that had been hoarded."

"He told me that some demons did use higher weapons," Sam agreed, sitting down.

"He walked into the armory and found it's still there.  Plus personal effects."

"So we're going to clean up that mess, box up the armory, and help him if we need to?" Daniel guessed.  The general nodded.  "I don't see a problem with that."

"Anything from a normal residence you feel like going after, since he's looking for stored weapons, you can box up and send to FEMA.  They have a system to get it to the owners."  They all nodded.  "I'm not expecting you to clear the town totally, people, but who knows what sort of weapons we have out there.  It might just be a few guns and swords.  I'm hoping so."

"If not, where are they going?" Cam asked.

"Atlantis.  Sheppard is taking care of a present his husband received from his former fiancee."  Daniel snickered.  "That way no one has to get the boy in trouble."

"We can do that," Sam agreed.  "The armory as well?"

"I've sent an email to the president, got one back saying that was fine, he'd tell the higher ups at the Pentagon to transfer it that way.  This way it's in military custody but you four can handle yourselves if you have to."

Sam nodded.  "We can do that.  When are we leaving?"

"He's there right now."

"I have his cellphone's number if we need it," Sam decided.  "How long?"

"I'm hoping a week or less."  They all nodded, going to pack.  "Jackson, keep a good log.  I want an inventory," he called after him.  "Before Atlantis starts looking like a paranoid arsenal," he muttered.  They had taken the maps with them.

They were professionals who had handled a few potential ends of the world.  They could handle this even if it was a bit creepy.

***

Xander looked up at the sound of an engine, waving.  "Did we bring some digging equipment?"

"Shovels," Sam offered as she got out of the truck.  "Why?"

"Bunker and with the way the ground shifted, there's no telling where the opening is."

She looked then took something out of the back of the truck.  "Ground penetrating radar," she said smugly.  She showed him how to use it, making him a happy boy.  "Let us clean the armory first, Xander."

"That way," he said with a point.  "Two lefts, one right, past the stoplight that's blinking for some reason, and to the left.  I left the gates open."  She nodded, getting in to give directions while Daniel helped him with that bunker.

Daniel looked at him once they had driven off.  "Why start here?"

"The geek trio's stuff.  This would go to Andrew."  He smiled weakly.  "He's in Cleveland being a wonderful house mom."

"That's fine.  Personal targets should be first," he agreed.  Xander smiled.  "They can pack up the armory and then the personal gear very well."  They found the opening and dug it out.  "What are we expecting to find?"

"Honestly, geek stuff and his comic collection.  He'll sob since he had a real one.  He's been grieving for it."

"It's good you're doing this for him."  They got into the bunker and walked down there, making him whistle at the computer gear.  "How are we getting this back?"

"Andrew."  He smirked.  He called.  "Andrew, my man, I got sent to Sunnydale to look for weapons and happened upon Jonathan's bunker.  Yeah, your house is standing, his is standing, Warren's is leaning heavily though.  Because I'm looking at enough computer stuff to run the Enterprise, Andrew."  The boy squealed.  He pulled the phone away from his ear.  "Come here if you want it."  He hung up.  Two minutes later Willow and Andrew appeared and came down the stairs to the bunker.  Andrew flung himself at a computer and hugged it.  Xander smiled at Willow.  She was giving him a knowing look.  "Don't want the demons to use it," he told her.  He walked off.  "Andrew, this is Doctor Daniel Jackson.  His team was guarding the boundaries during the battle."

"Hey," he said, sniffling as he shook his hand.  "Thank you, Xander."  Xander waved it off but he was grinning.  "How long?"

"Today," Xander said.  Andrew eeped.  Xander pointed at Willow, who sighed but nodded she'd help.  The younger guy hugged her too and they got to work packing things up.  "Don't forget the other two's house, Andrew.  Anything left here is probably going to be destroyed soon."

"I won't, Xander.  Thank you."

"Welcome.  Oh, Willow, you might check Buffy's house since her garage is still standing and the house is in bad shape but not terribly bad shape.  Let me know if you're going in so I can be there to dig you out?"  She nodded quickly.  "Yours is on the same leaning alarmingly street."  She nodded with a smirk this time.  He took Daniel to his first real weapons target.  Willie's Alibi bar.  It was mostly destroyed but the back rooms were still hidden.  He had a pendant that would suck up any magic and disperse it.  What a wonderful thing to find in Cairo.  It worked, unhiding two falling in rooms.  He and Daniel went into it, taking things out to the front.  Including the liquor on his part.  Daniel gave him an odd look.  "It could be used to start a fire."

"It could," he agreed dryly.  "I'm sure John would appreciate that."

"Some of them.  And hey, the base shrink can keep control of it.  That way she knows who doesn't really need a drink."

Daniel snickered, nodding.  "I think she could."  They finished up and moved to the underground rooms.  These were packed.  He called Sam's phone.  "When you're done, come get us at Forrest street.  There's two packed underground rooms of weapons, old and new.  And possibly another entrance to an underground tunnel."

"Yeah, he had a few entrances into our sewer highway system," Xander said dryly.  "We used to rough up Willie for info now and then.  This was the demon bar."

Daniel nodded.  "That explains the slime on one wall."  He put his phone back and they carried up more weapons.  Willow came over to help.  "Thank you," he said, rubbing his back.

"You guys need some marines," she teased.

"Yeah but we got them because they're smart," Xander told her.

She smirked.  "Anything else you're going to arrange?"

"They won't let me keep higher weapons; you can talk to Landry about the apocalypse vault situation.  I had been going to separate out a few lighter things for you guys but since they got sent due to the armory..."  He trailed off with a shrug.

"Fine."  She went to check her parents' house  then Buffy's.  They were both nearly destroyed but they might be able to find some things out of it.  Maybe, if she was lucky and didn't fall through the floor.

***

Daniel set up the video system on Sam's laptop, letting her start it.  "Sir," he said in greeting when Landry's head appeared.  "We underestimated a lot."

"So Atlantis is going to look like some paranoid's arsenal?"

"I'm not sure some of it should be on Atlantis, sir," Sam said.  "We found a half-constructed nuclear warhead in the armory."  Landry gave her an odd look.  She nodded. "Construction, not destruction, and their armory's inventory doesn't have it listed.   The posted list is short half of what's in there.  Interestingly enough we are missing one piece already.  A grenade launcher."

"Which I'm fairly certain was the one Buffy Summers had to use in a mall," Daniel said.  Cam looked at him.  "To kill a demon that couldn't be killed by any weapon.  She blew it to chunks and separated the chunks."

"I guess that's reasonable," he admitted.  "Maybe.  How did she get it?"

"Xander said it was one of the best dates he had in high school with that ascended, Cordelia," Sam told him.  Cam shook himself quickly to get rid of that image.

"Before you get off on that tangent, how much stuff," Landry asked.  She sent him the email over the same connection.  He looked it over.  "Their armory had all this?"

"No, their armory wasn't supposed to have all that, sir."

"Crap!"

"Basically.  That and Daniel was working with Xander at the former demon's bar.  They found a good few trucks worth of stuff too.  Just in that one location.  He did let some IWC civilians back into their residences to gather things that hadn't been able to be evacuated."

"I understand that.  You'd want personal mementos."

"That and one wanted his nearly award winning comic collection," Sam agreed.  "Plus the things from his former friends that had died over the last few years."

"I guess that's a personal prize to some," he admitted. "Are they any trouble?"

"No, sir.  Rosenburg moved it all back to Cleveland earlier.  Computer gear, comics, cooking stuff, her family's stuff, Miss Summers' stuff that was left, all of it."

"Interesting.  Is there evidence of more weapons?"

Daniel nodded.  "I had Xander mark a list of where things had been that he knew for certain.  He marked at least another six bunkers and we're going to be searching their sewers, which didn't function as more than an underground walkway most of the time, plus the college's area and that underground base.  He wasn't sure what was left there."

"What underground base?"

"Initiative," Sam said bluntly.

"Oh, those crackpots.  Fine.  Strip it.  I'll conference in to see who wants to do what so we can finish stripping the town for the former residents.  There's talk about razing it and putting a thicker fence around it."  They all nodded.  "Are you all alright so far?"

"We've seen one demon and he was visiting a grave," Daniel told him.

"That I don't mind.  Let me talk to someone."

"Sir, we'll need grunts," Sam told him.  "It'll take us years otherwise."

"I can handle that."  He hung up.  He called the president to let him know.  He had wanted to be kept informed as often as he heard something.  The others, well he could talk to FEMA or Landry could.  As for grunt labor.... they probably had some somewhere.

***

John opened his door, letting Muffin bounce into Ronon happily.  "What's up?"  Woolsey walked in with a few others.  "You could've called it in the conference room."

"I didn't want the dog all over the base," Woolsey said.  "Someone might try to keep her or ask for their own again."  He looked at those gathered.  Then at John.  "How's Sunnydale going?"

"He's upset but not worried.  He's very sad about a few things.  He did something nice, letting some friends get their stuff out.  Why?  He told me Daniel and Sam's team was there."

"They found about three trucks worth of stuff already in two targets.  Half of the stuff they found on the old guard base shouldn't have been there."

"That doesn't really surprise me," John admitted.

"They hadn't done inventory since your husband took that weapon either."

"Maybe the person who was in charge of that got eaten," he offered.  "Is he in trouble for that?"

"No.  We're covering that one."  He looked around.  "We're going to have to add muscle to it.  The main base is adding two other teams.  We're doing a full clean out, people.  Including boxing up people's things in their former homes so FEMA can find the owners."  They all nodded.  "FEMA is not stepping into the town.  The last time they tried this, someone got eaten."

"Doesn't really surprise me," John agreed.  "Any other orders?"

"Weapons are being shared between us and the main base.  Sam Carter is not pleased that they found a nuclear warhead in construction phase on the old base."  They all groaned. "Pick three teams, teach them how to deal with demons," he told Sheppard.

"Shoot in the head or behead," he said bluntly.  "The types of vampire that lives there were mostly stakeable.  Issue swords or huge machetes as gear."  Woolsey nodded at that.  "Issue extra bullets too just in case if we're in the sewers.  That's where anything still living would be."

"Fine."  Woolsey looked at him.  "Harris has a small pile of his own things to go back."

"I'm sure he can put it into his car."

"Even better.  From Jackson's recon there's about eighty houses left whole, more that're partial wrecks, the college will be packed up by someone else so we don't have to move books or furniture.  We are not moving furniture.  Pictures, clothes, that stuff is acceptable.  Residents will get a chance to come back for furniture.  So make sure you mark if a house is mostly safe enough to enter or not.  Harris has construction experience I heard?" he asked.  John nodded.  "Enough?"

"Crew foreman.  Over a year."

"That'll probably be enough then.  Which three teams do you want to send, Sheppard?"

"I want to go," Teyla said.

John nodded.  "I can send us."  Woolsey pointed at the dog.  "She's trained to hunt, but he wasn't sure if she'd get injured by the hellmouth itself.  Send Perkins from the main base over if possible.  He's from there.  We were in Antarctica together."  Woolsey made that note, giving a nod after a moment.  "For pure grunt strength, send the supply team, sir.  We can send three teams to back them up.  They're used to heavy lifting."

"That's not a bad idea.  Plus they can make inventories at the same time."

"Much more efficiently than we can," Ronon agreed.

Woolsey smirked at him.  "You want to go play with the weapons I suppose?"

"I would, yes."

"Fine.  Do you want your full team?"

"I don't know."  He touched his earpiece.  "McKay, we're taking the team to Sunnydale to help clean out the weapons.  Would you like to come or would you like to watch the dog?"

"Let Radek watch the dog," he sent back.  "She likes him more."

John rolled his eyes.  "Seriously, McKay.  We're going soon.  I can bring Radek if you'd rather.  Just in case.  Sam Carter is there as science support in case we find something like the warhead in construction."

Rodney grumbled something.  "Radek and I will come.  Let the disgruntled psychiatrist watch her."  He signed off.

"Okay."  He looked at Muffin.  "Want to stay with the woman who cries on you?"  She barked, wagging her tail.  "That'll work then.  Rodney's bringing him and Radek."

"That's fine.  I'm sure Carter could use the help and I'm sure they can take energy readings and all sorts of things that others want to do."  He made that note to Landry as well.  He got back the promise of sending them a list of things.  He made the suggestion of the supply crews and got back a happier response.  "He likes that idea.  Which teams?"

"Mine, three, and eight," John said.  "They're the best at weapons and eight has two people who know ancient weapons."  Woolsey nodded.  "I'll call it."  He left them alone.  "Go pack, people.  Evan?"

"I'll stay.  That sounds creepy."

"It does," he agreed.  "But it's necessary."  He called the teams to the conference room and walked out with Muffin, taking her to the shrink's office.  "We're heading to Sunnydale."  Muffin hopped up into her lap.  She smiled, petting her.  "If it's safe, I'll have her sent for."

"That's fine, Sheppard.  Thank you.  I could use a cuddle."  He smiled and walked off.  She petted the dog.  Muffin was very calming and loving.  She needed that.  Even if the cat that had somehow snuck onto base by swimming out to them was living in her apartment at the moment.  Or Rodney's lab sometimes when she got bored.

John walked into the conference room.  The head of supply was there with the team leaders.  "Someone asked Xander to clean the weapons out of Sunnydale.  They found craploads."  They all groaned.  "FEMA has asked that we assist in packing up the personal belongings, outside of furniture, of the main houses," he told the supply chief, who nodded at that.  "With inventories."

"Of course.  How large of a project is this?"

"Eighty houses, a few more leaning alarmingly.  Xander is a former construction guy though."

"I have two of those on my staff too from before they signed on.  We can do that.  Handing those to FEMA, sir?"  John nodded.  "Any weapons?"

"Anything other than personal firearms is coming here or the main base.  SG-1 and our three teams are handling that.  I know we've heard about underground living areas, we're going to be hitting those since they're probably demon living quarters."  That got a round of nods.  Some didn't look pleased.  "We are going because we are all good with weapons.  And SGA-8 has two people who can use ancient weapons if it's necessary."  That got a nod from that team leader.  "Quick introduction.  Most of the vampires there are able to be staked.  They're usually of one specific type.  Anything else, beheading mostly works.  There are non threatening ones.  Jackson said he found one talking to a loved one's headstone.

"Don't engage unless they try you or it's making a clear threat.  Like growling at you and drooling.  Some do growl as their native language so call if that happens before you engage."  They all nodded.  "So far, the National Guard armory has had more than it should have, including a nuclear warhead."  That got a few groans.  "Xander said that they've taken over three trucks full of weapons out.  Troop carriers not pickups."  That got a horrified look from the supply person.  "That's from the armory and one other site so far."

"I'll bring all of my guys but the pregnant one, sir."  He left to tell them that and brief them.

John looked at the soldiers.  "I won't lie, it'll be creepy, but it's necessary and as far as I know we're getting most of the weapons."

"Sir, does that mean you're switching to a larger room?" one quipped with a smirk.

He grinned.  "No, they can rest in the armory.  Those are found weapons.  His was a birthday present from his former fiancee."  They all groaned.  "Any other questions?"  They shook their heads.  "Prep for leaving in the morning.  Probably about a week's worth.  There is a base out there, they're cleaning it so we might be able to stay there or the old college."  They nodded, going to pack and get ready to go.  "Ronon, Teyla, bring weapons," he told them.  "Carryable, can still carry other things too, weapons."

Ronon nodded.  "Of course."  He left.  Teyla smiled at him and left.

John went to Woolsey.  "Are we staying on the former base?"

"Carter said Mitchell cleared it for that use."

"Good.  That means we'll have showers hopefully."

"For some reason the electric and water are still on," he admitted.

John shook his head.  "That whole town is insane.  When are we going?"

"Oh-eight-hundred."

"They're packing."  He went to do his own, checking on the scientists.  "Guys, we will be staying on the old base out there.  It'll be a week's worth.  I think you're getting a list of things someone wanted samples from or whatever."  Rodney got into his email, grimacing as he printed it.  "We're leaving at eight sharp."  They nodded.  "Good."  He turned and found Muffin there.  "Did you sneak off?" he asked her, smiling at the dog.  She barked, scaring the cat trying to hide on top of a machine.  The cat hissed.  Muffin came in to sniff her a few times, getting batted at but she just licked the cat and walked off with John.

Rodney looked at the cat.  "You can't stay in here if you aren't quiet."  She settled back down in her 'inbox' basket with a huff.  "Thank you."  He handed Radek the printout.  "There, pack what we need while I swear at people."

"Of course.  You do that part better than real work," Radek taunted.

"Of course I do, that's why I'm in charge," he shot back with an evil smirk.  They had been bored but neither of them wanted to do this.

***

Xander looked over as people appeared in a flash of light.  One of them walked off with a scanner.  "PKE meter?" he called, making Rodney flinch.  He smirked.  "This way, McKay."  He walked him to the crater where the high school had been.  "The hellmouth is the center of that sucking area."  He looked at him.  "Which is why things twisted."

"Why did it start sucking?"

"The portal was closed by Spike," he said quietly, looking at him.  "His blood had opened it."

"Is that common?"

"I don't know.  It worked with Acathla's statue way back when Angel lost his soul.  I'd have to ask someone like Giles."  He saw Willow appear on his other side.  "We're packing."

"I'm helping.  That way we know whose stuff goes where."  He nodded.

McKay looked around and pointed.  "See the bushy bearded man with reddish blond hair?  He's the head of supply that's here."  She nodded, going to talk to him.  He looked at Xander.  "They wanted samples."

"I don't care and I doubt it'd open underneath you."

"Even if I bled into it?"

"No, the Seal of the First had specific opening instructions.  It's more likely you'll find some of the old bezoar eggs.  I know all the tunnels for about three blocks end in dead ends due to the sucking as well.  I'm going to be by the old Magic Box first today.  Call me if you need me."

"Agreed."  He made shooing motions.  Xander walked off.

Radek came over with their sample collecting kits.  "That is a lot of energy output."

"Yes it is.  We should ask Rosenburg if this is normal."

"We can do that later, when we're all tired."  They got to work taking samples of what was wanted.

Sam Carter watched Radek walk off, shaking her head.  "I'm sorry they got sample patrol.  Xander?" she asked, spotting him.  "Where are you going to be?"

"Magic Box.  It's nearly caved in but I know we didn't move everything out of there."  She nodded at that.  "Guys, closer to the UC campus is always safer," he told them.  "The closer to the outer edges you are, the more stable they are.  I'd start there.  There's probably more stuff left."  They nodded, heading that way.  He looked at Sam, then at John and his dog.  "Did you sneak again?"

"She refused to stay."

"It's fine.  Sam Winchester said he thought the energy wouldn't hurt her too much."  He walked off with his dog helping him.  "C'mon, we'll see if Buffy left her swords or Giles left any tea."

John smirked, shaking his head.  "He's tired," he told the watching SG teams.  They all nodded at that.  "Carter, Mitchell, where are we starting?"

"Above ground," she told him.  She pulled out the map, pointing it off.  "Do a quadrant search, make sure you look for bunkers.  He noted the ones he knew had old fallout shelters and bunkers for hiding."  She gave each team a few blocks and they went to it.  "John, did they actually do a nightly patrol?"

"Yeah.  Hit most of the cemeteries, hit the major congregating spots, then head home for the night.  Xander joined in when he could."  He walked off.  His spouse was pretty amazing but Sunnydale was creepy when it was this quiet.  He found Teyla and Ronon bagging up a dead cat.  "Guys, it's all right.  They're going to destroy the town once we're done."

"It's still possible it will cause illness," Teyla told him.

"True."  He tied the bag for them and they went on.  Each house got checked for weapons rooms.  The weapons were put onto the sidewalk for easy picking up.  Any that had a good sized yard John checked for bunkers with the GPR unit and then a metal detector.  They found a few lockboxes buried that way. Those got put into the house.  They marked a 'safe' marking on those that were and moved on.  John found the first real bunker.  "Bingo," he said.  He handed Ronon a shovel, letting him uncover it while he searched for the doorway's edges.  They got it open and John whistled.  "Damn."  He touched his comm earpiece.  "Carter, what do we do when we find the drugs?"

"How bad?"

"We can't get down the stairs for the weed."

"Bundled?"

"Yeah."

"Bring it out carefully, put it on the sidewalk.  We'll burn it or hand it to the DEA," Cam ordered then signed off.

"You heard him."

"What is this stuff?  Do you smoke it?" Teyla asked.

"Only if you want a goofy, feel good, high," John said with a grin.  "That is marijuana."  They had heard of that from some of the people on the base so they put on gloves to carry it out.  Underneath the few bundles of well cut weed, they found weapons.  Ronon moaned, petting one.  "Yeah, that's pretty," he agreed.  They carried them out to the sidewalk as well.  He found the cash and clicked back.  "Mitchell, Sheppard.  Cash in the same bunker as the drugs?"

"I don't care.  Give it to your boy, Sheppard."

"Bundle it and we'll figure it out," Daniel said.  "The same as we will be the former Mayor's stash.  Anyone know anything about gold?"

"Gold?" Mitchell said.  "Like bars?"

"Like I can build Muffin a good sized doghouse from the pile of bars," Sam told him.

"I'll be right there," Cam said.

Sheppard moaned.  "That Mayor was the one at graduation, guys.  Super bad guy who turned into a hundred foot demon.  There's no one to claim that for him."

"I'll get ethical guidelines on that from the general," Daniel told them.  They all signed off.

John looked at the bundled cash.  "Carry it out, we'll figure that part out later.  They nodded, carrying it and the computer gear out there.  John found the growing tanks and took the seedlings that were nearly dead too.  Just in case.  Teyla looked at one, touching it.  "Weed plants.  They grow about eight feet tall with the right care."

"Wow."

"Very."  He put those down next to the drugs and they moved onto the next house.

***

Xander got called to the Mayor's warehouse, walking in and looking around.  He put his magic sucking pendant on the wall with the switches, letting it work.  Slowly things started to fade in.  Cam Mitchell gave him the most horrified, comical look.  He grinned.  "After you guys are gone, I'll go around to make sure that there's nothing else."  He walked over to look at the stack of gold and platinum.  "Awww, we knew he was running weapons and offering things to the demons to support him."  He looked around at the other stuff that had been hidden.  Some things were starting to fade again.  "Must've tied it to the hellmouth.  I'll go blow it up later and it'll stop," he muttered.  "What's up, guys?"

"Who was this person?" Mitchell demanded.

"He was the mayor for over a century."  Mitchell shuddered.  "He made demonic deals to extend his life and move onto his ultimate goal of becoming a pure demon.  There's a file somewhere online from graduation if you wanted to see it.  It wasn't pretty.  I commanded the battle to let the civies flee and Buffy blew him up in the school."

"But all this stuff," he complained.

Xander walked him outside, pointing up the road.  "The red and white house that has all the plastic covers on the furniture was his too.  He helped take this town from the natives so he could use it.  He's the guy that made this town the buffet it was for demons and vampires."

"So he's the source of the problems," Sam said.

"That was the hellmouth.  He was the sorcerer who was in control of the town," Xander corrected.  "He was germphobic, he was one of those supposedly kind people who would smile politely at you as you were being eaten, and he's the one that got Buffy here so she could fight the Master."  He smirked.  "Welcome to Sunnydale, guys.  Home of the creepy."  He walked off.  "Let me figure out how to stop the hellmouth for a few hours."

He called Willow.  "If I stick dynamite into the hole and blow it, it'd spew the radiation upward and dissolve the magic for a few weeks, right?"  He nodded while listening to her ideas.  "Do I have that here?"  He nodded again.  "Even better.  Thanks."  He hung up and called Sam Carter.

"Willow has something that'll work so the hellmouth quits interfering for about a week.  We will get a spew upward," he warned.  He jogged that way, finding the two scientists. "Guys, clear the hole," he called.  "We've got to disrupt the waves coming off it because it's hiding things."  They stared at him.  "Now.  Unless you want me to blow you up too."  They gathered things and moved back.

"Farther."  They moved farther back.  "Hit the real street," he ordered finally.  Willow appeared.  He looked it over, connecting the last few things then dropped it into the dent in the center of the hole, running for the street himself.  He knew how powerful that thing was, he had built it.  "Back," he shouted at them.  "Another hundred feet."   They made it.  He barely did and got clobbered with sprayed dirt.

Rodney was taking film and energy readings.  "It's ...dissipating."

"It disrupted the usual flow out," Willow told him.  "Now it's spewing up for a while.  You've got about six days before the regular flow comes back.  Or we did when we blew up the high school."

Xander grinned.  "The Mayor's stash was hidden by shields tied to that."

"Wonderful.  I wonder how he did that?"

"Don't know."

She huffed.  "Books?"

"No clue.  If I find any I'll hand them to Giles."  She nodded, disappearing.  He grinned at the scientist he didn't know.  "So, how do you like Sunnydale?  And aren't you glad you're not in Cleveland."  He jogged back to the warehouse, finding everything unhidden.  "It worked.  Six days Willow thinks."

Daniel dusted him off.  "How is it flowing now?"

"Up.  She studied it after the high school explosion.  It disrupted the ground level flow and the first few feet off it.  Everything else got blown into the upper ranges.  Those come back first as it slowly sinks back down."

Sam Carter shook her head, moaning slightly.  "You're all insane."

"Sunnydale does that to you," he said dryly, smirking at her.  "That's why so many of us were on drugs."

"John said he found a bunker with a lot of weed," she told him.

"Which area is he in?"  She pulled out her map to show him.  "That's Frederick's stash.  His father took over the business when his son got eaten.  The mayor was trying to stop him but too many of the residents wanted it.  He decided it made them easier snacks."  He looked around.  "Let me find more babies to pet."  He went off to do that through the back door.

Sam looked at Mitchell.  "If I eve get that bad...."

"We'll put you the same place they put me," Daniel assured her.  She smiled at him for that.  "I'll even have Jack help."

"Thanks, really."  They got to work cataloging things.  "Well, private jet," she said, looking at it.

"Landry might like that," Cam told her.  He watched the strange guy come in and go down through a trap door.  "I thought we were waiting on the underground stuff."

"We are but he's following a hunch I think," she told him.

Daniel nodded.  "Probably," he said when he heard the crowing.  "Xander, do we need help?" he called.

"Yup.  I found the other warheads."

Sam and Cam ran that way to check on them.  Rodney McKay got summoned when they found one had an active, not turned on timer.  He had built one once, she had only flipped one on.  He got it disarmed and they moved them very carefully topside.

Rodney looked at Xander.  "Don't make Sheppard as insane as you are," he ordered. "We'd hate to lose him or use electroshock treatments to fix him.  His hair might actually behave."  He walked off shaking his head.

Xander grinned.  "Awww.  I told the aunts he wanted John."  He strolled off again.  "That's probably the heaviest weapons unless we had another doomsday or apocalypse cult."

"Did we?" Daniel called.

"Cult, yes, fully human, off to the right of Adam's college then two more blocks.  The blue house with black shutters.  Otherwise?  No idea."  They went to check that house, just in case they had more heavy weapons.  That area hadn't been assigned yet.

***

Generals Landry and O'Neill both showed up to see the final piles of stuff.  It took up a large field outside of town.  O'Neill looked at it then at Xander.  "Damn," he said bluntly.

"Yes they kinda were by living here," he shot back with a smirk.  His dog barked so he let her go pet the general.  Both of them petted her and she came back.  "Anyway, sirs.  There's problematic stuff that got me glared at when I knew who was doing it."

"Beyond the nuclear warheads?" Landry asked.  Xander pointed at the side where the drugs were.  He walked around to look.  "That's a problem, yes."

Jack looked then nodded.  "DEA."

"Sir, the money we confiscated and the gold, platinum, and silver bars?" Sam asked.

He stared so she walked him to that part of the confiscated stuff.  He considered it.  "IWC?"

"Mr. Giles was horrified when I talked to him," Daniel admitted.  "He said he had no idea we had drug dealers in Sunnydale.  Buffy told him she had heard of someone dealing weed but he had been eaten in their junior year."

"His dad took it over," Xander said.  Jack looked at him.  "My mom liked it now and then."

"I see."  He stared at the kid.  "Admitting you tried it?"

"I could get a perfectly good buzz by being in my room the days she had some."  He shrugged.  "Why would I need to?  If I wanted that messed up, I could've went and ordered the special 'shroom drink at the Bronze."

"I don't want to know," he decided.

"We did confiscate that stash as well," Sam told him.  "Dried out now but there is some good psychedelic mushrooms, sir."

"I don't want to know," he repeated.

"Fine."  She smirked.  "What are we doing with the money, Generals?"

Landry looked at her.  "We'd screw up the budget things if we took it."  O'Neill nodded quickly.  "Give it to the old residents?"

"FEMA showed up yesterday.  Half of them decided they didn't have a house here and don't remember living here," Daniel told him.  "So we have some sheets and things to spare now."

"The brothel and the other two motels were good for that," Xander agreed.  "Cheap towels too."

"Brothel?" Jack asked.  John coughed and pointed at a sign in the distance.  "It was?"

"Yes, sir, it was," Sam Carter agreed.  "It had a sign behind the desk saying anyone could enter any room anytime they wanted.  Almost no one read it probably but I'm sure the rooms weren't that secure."

Xander shook his head.  "No but some people did stay there on purpose sometimes."  Landry gave him a strange look.  "Some people were single, sir.  It was cheaper than paying for it."

"I don't want to know," he decided too.  "Are we going to talk you out of claiming anything?"

"Two special, nice swords, another battle axe, and a new handgun."

"Which I cleared," Cam said.  "Since he found the warheads for us.  They were under the Mayor's stash.  The plane and precious metals were on top of it."

O'Neill looked at everything again.  It filled a good sized field without a lot of room between the individual piles.  "All right, I'm all for going to get a drink tonight," he decided.

"Jack," Daniel complained.

"Anyone else who was here has the night off for medicinal drinking as well.  The plane, the weapons, all hit the SGC, we'll parcel things out to Atlantis."

"The left pile is going to fit in our armory," John said, giving Xander a shoulder nudge.  "Gun?"  Xander grinned, showing it to him.  "That's pretty."  He got a lap from the dog.  "You're very pretty too, Muffin."  He noticed she was panting.  "Xander, I think it's time for an exorcism."

Xander opened is canteen and put down a collapsible bowl for her, filling it up.  "Holy water."  The dog shook but the demon floated off.  "That way she's not possessed.  Bobby said I could and probably should do it daily around here."

"Is that why you made me drink water last night?" Rodney asked him.

"Yup, because I wasn't sure if you were scary or possessed."

"He's normally like that," Sam told him dryly.

"He was worse than usual," Radek assured her.  "I was hoping for possessed.  The others would enjoy tying him up and gagging him while spraying him with holy water."

She giggled, shaking her head.  "We'll find you guys some more projects."  She looked at the amused looking generals.  "I'm sure I can."

"I'm sure you can too," Landry said, giving McKay a dirty look then Xander.  He got back an innocent look.  "I really don't want to know.  Sheppard, you sure you don't want anything else?"

"We'd need another armory.  I asked how much room we had left."

"We can put a locking door on a room.  Send everything but the right third to their base.  The drugs go to the DEA."  He looked at O'Neill then shrugged.  "The plane goes to us.  The two cars go to the meeting hanger for off-base use by Atlantis.  We'll get them plates this week.  The other stuff...."  He looked at that pile.  "The IWC gets to pick through."

O'Neill nodded.  "That works for me."  He looked at Xander.  "If you find any other weapons...."

"I'll call John."

"Thank you."  He patted him on the shoulder then petted the dog.  "Try to keep the boy sane, Muffin.  He needs it before he drives others more insane than my team did me."  He walked off shaking his head.  Their things got loaded up and moved to where they needed to be.  The plane got a pilot that wasn't John since he was there with Xander.  They'd give him some spouse time for one last night.

John looked around when everyone started to leave him.  "Hey," he complained.

"Your husband is here," Cam reminded him.  He turned to walk backward so he could see him.  "We'll be leaving tomorrow.  That way you don't keep anyone up."  Sheppard had the ability to blush, he proved it then.  "0700 sharp, Sheppard.  Oversee the IWC picking over too since you know them."  He turned back around and jogged off.  He needed a shower.  He felt slimy for some reason.  Then that medicinal drinking sounded *real* good and they did have that liquor stash from the clubs.

"Yes, sir."  He went back to Xander's side.  "Huh."  Xander looked around before kissing him.  "Where did you get twinkies?"

"I have twinkie sensing radar.  Unless I'm in the city, then I seem to have twink sensing radar."  John moaned but kissed him again to straighten him out.  He grinned, texting Willow.  She showed up, looking at the piles.  "Household stuff that the old owners didn't want."

She stared then at him.  "Why do we get it?"

"Pick over it," John told her.  "O'Neill and Landry said so."

"We don't need it."

"Then we'll donate sheets and those things," John told her.

"Good!"  She looked around.  "Anything else?"

"Money, gold bars?" John asked.

"Giles said he'd spank us.  He thinks it might set off the hellmouth like Xander does."

"Not my fault I sucked up hellmouth energy for over twenty years," he said dryly.

"I know.  So does he, but he doesn't like it.  It makes the girls work harder.  And hey, you're working on your forge so you can use some of those."  She blipped off with it, then came back.  "It's in your former working room with some of Anya's mess."  She disappeared again.  That felt right to her.  Xander needed it so he wouldn't have to work and could spoil his spouses.  Husbands needed spoiled.  Hers would if she had one.

Xander looked at John, who shrugged.  "What were you playing with out of Anya's stuff?"

"Her sex toy collection."  John blushed, shaking his head, staring his mate down.  He grinned.  "Not like I've had fun."  He walked him off to the local motel.  They could be loud, bouncy, and no one would mind.  Muffin came to guard the door but she never minded when he pounced.

Once in there, John cuddled Xander.  "I know it's been hard."  Xander relaxed against him.  "It's okay."  Xander kissed him with a gentle smile.  "Not that I don't want to do bouncy things that'll make me swear while moving for the next week but do you really want to or just to take your mind off of all this?"

"I've grieved, said goodbye, and now I'm ready to move on to my present."

"I'm one hell of a present," he teased.  Since Xander wasn't using him to mute the uneasiness, it was good.

"Yes you are, and wearing so many layers of wrapping too."  He pulled John's tactical vest off him, tossing it in the chair.  John set his watch alarm for six-thirty and they got down to it.  It was very comforting and Tony was clearly eavesdropping from his apartment couch.  So they all got some fun with the extra bouncy Xander.  Poor John's back would survive, hopefully.

***

Woolsey looked at the new inventories and then at Sheppard since he was leaning against a wall.  "Did you throw your back out moving things?" he asked.  "Or shouldn't I ask?"

"Xander threw my back out but the dog jumping on me when my watch went off made me hit the floor and kill it worse," he admitted.

"I don't need details," he said quickly.  John gave him a smug look.  "Anything else I should see?"

"The two vehicles we'll have for off-base use need plates.  They're saying they'll get them this week.  The plane's back in Colorado.  Willow sent the rest of the stuff to Xander's house so he's going to be sorting for days.  Somehow he managed to live on stale snack cakes, beef jerky, and holy water for a week and a half.  I've already called someone to check him and the dog to make sure they're not possessed."  He shifted some with a wince.  "The secondary armory's all set up with a lock that's keyed to specific people.  McKay's and Zalenka's samples were sent off with Carter before we came back.  Along with all the energy readings.  The drugs we found got sent to the DEA.  FEMA was happy to get that stuff because now they can raze the town once they move furniture.  The donation places around LA are getting all that stuff after someone checks it for energy signatures.  If they find one, they know to call Cleveland.  Then Sunnydale's going to be sealed off forever."

"Good.  We don't want a repeat.  How is Cleveland doing?"

"After the invasion, the City Council realized that they had seen some of those people in their city and went to talk to them.  The area around the hellmouth was rezoned for non-living purposes.  It gave them a huge park.  The girls got to help with some of the landscaping so they could plant some protective plants that would stab demons but not humans.  There's probably been some nervous people moving out of there but I have no idea."

"That's something I'd do too," Woolsey admitted, looking at him.  "Hit the infirmary since you're done for the day."

"I still have to meet with Lorne."

"He can meet you down there.  You can barely stand."

"I fell off the bed."

"I don't care."

"Fine.  Even though I only need a few advil."  He walked that way slowly.  He ran into Lorne, seeing his amused look.  "Muffin jumped on me when my watch alarm went off; it made me jump and fall off the bed."

"I hoped your husband wasn't that mean to you, sir."  He helped him down the stairs.  "Things were calm while you were gone.   The cat that managed to swim out to us had kittens in McKay's lab.  He's cooing over them but glaring at anyone who gives him soft, mushy looks for it.  Radek was snickering in another lab so he didn't get beaten for it."

"That's good to know."

"The mother has been keeping down the few bay rats we've had migrate."

"Even better."  He winced and stopped to lean against a wall.  "The dog and my boy are both too bouncy," he said quietly.  Lorne smirked at him for that.  "He lived on stale snack cakes all week."

"Sugar can do that to some people."  He helped him up the hallway once he was ready.  "Ronon is still in a goofy mood after petting all the weapons."

"I'll be making holy water to dose everyone with later."

"The infirmary got that information from someone and has already done everyone but you.  He's still in a goofy, high mood.  Thank you for not bringing back all that pot so we wouldn't have to see them tripping on it."  John shot him a dirty look.  "How was it?"

"Quiet.  Way too quiet.  Xander grieved," he said quietly.  "The town was that sort of 'dead' creepy that we saw on a few places the wraith had harvested from.  Dead animals that had been left.  We disposed of all the drugs we found around town.  There was nearly a case of psychiatric drugs to be disposed of.  A lot of pain killers too.  Someone sent that to a nearby pharmacy so they could do that."  The other man nodded.  "Other than that, it was...  Well, quiet and creepy.

"A lot of lifting but still way too quiet.  The few demons that tried to attack down in the sewers were handled quickly with minor injuries.  The few peaceful ones got respectful looks from most everyone.  Two people wanted to take them out anyway and got lectured from Jackson.  That was a three hour lecture."  Lorne snickered.  Jackson's lectures were SG legends now about the length and butt chewing included.  "It was necessary but we all felt like we were desecrating a graveyard in some ways.   Especially when we had to because we found some weapons in some crypts.  Which had no bodies in them."

"Charming place to put weapons," he said sarcastically.

"Vampires lived in them.  Xander decided they probably scavenged them."  He shrugged then let out a soft moan.  "Ow."  Lorne let him rest against a wall.  "Don't you dare call a medic team to move me."

"Fine."  He called the doctor personally.  "I've got Sheppard but he threw his back when the dog bounced him off the bed.  About two hallways short of the infirmary in a rotunda.   Thank you."  He hung up and looked at him.  "Is Xander fondling the money?"

"Right now he's trying to figure out if he's keeping the precious metal or not.  He might be able to use some of it."  The doctor walked up to him.  "The dog pounced when my watch alarm went off.  Bounced me off the bed."

"I know how that is.  My husky used to do that to me too."  She helped him stand up again, supporting his weight.  "We could get a stretcher."

"All I need are some advil and the new massage cushion I got given for my birthday."

She smiled.  "That's in the infirmary right now anyway," she told him.  She helped Lorne get him there, handing him holy water to take his three pain pills with.  He grimaced but did it anyway.

"Did your spouse really dose McKay because he thought he was possessed?"

"He wasn't sure if he was possessed or mean."

"Probably just mean," Lorne said dryly.

"I'm not sure.  He was being a bigger ass than usual," John told him.  "The dog got it too.  Something floated out of her that last night."  They groaned.  He pulled out his cellphone to call someone.  "Hey, Sam, John Sheppard.  I did call you guys about checking Xander, right?"  He grinned.  "Thanks."  He hung up.  "He's already headed that way.  Just in case since Xander keeps possessions."

"Does it bother him?" the doctor asked.

"The hyena he got possessed with is fun now and then.  She comes forward, growls, bit Tony once on the ankle.  But she loves being petted so it's all good most of the time when she reappears."  He yawned.  "Massage cushion?"  She set it up against the bed's railings and let him rest against it.  He fell asleep that way.  It was very comforting.  Nearly as good as his bouncy husband.

Lorne blushed, shaking his head at the mumbling.  "I didn't need to know that."  He walked off.  He ran into McKay.  "Sheppard's getting his back treated."

"That's fine.  I expected that with the way he was moving earlier.  Is everything else done?"

"All stored and locked away."

"Even better."  He went to the infirmary.  "Do we have any droppers and formula?"

"I do," she said, handing him the kitten supplies.  "She won't feed them?"

"They're whining pitifully because she's asleep and not feeding them.  Radek wants to go on a mercy mission."  He carried them back to him.  "Here, stop the pitiful wailing she's doing."

Radek smiled, mixing the formula and feeding the three kittens.  The mother needed a long nap and they needed food.  It gave him something to do today.

***

Sam walked into Xander's house, heading for where he could hear him moving.  Xander was stuck in the devil's trap Dean had painted on his ceiling without him knowing.  "Xander?"  The boy gave him a pained look.  "Who was it this time?"

"I don't know," he moaned.

Sam looked around at the stuff.  "That's a lot of stuff."  He got it shoved out of his way, handing Xander a chair to sit in. Then Sam went to make holy water by the gallon.  With the way Xander kept spirits, he'd be up all night doing exorcisms.  He walked the dog back in there, noticing she got stuck too.  He started on her after feeding her a light sedative.  He knew it hurt when the spirit came out of you.

"I fed her holy water daily."

"She's still got a little bit."  He got to work on her.  When she was finally clear, she gave him a tired woof and went to lay outside.  Sam smirked at Xander, who was looking pitiful.  "Tough."  He started the exorcism on him.  Yup, it was going o take all night since two spirits floated out together the first time.

***

Tony flinched, holding his ribs.  "Boss, I'm going to Ducky's office while they unpossess Xander," he muttered when Gibbs came closer.  He got helped down there.  Ducky came in to check on him.  "They're doing an exorcism or ten on Xander.  He picked up some extra people in Sunnydale."

Ducky handed him something for the pain and let him sleep.  He went back to the outer area to get bak to work on some necessary paperwork and the inventory.

Gibbs watched him for a few minutes.  He called Dean Winchester.  He had his number in case of bad spirits in DC or on his team.  "If they're doing an exorcism on Xander and it's affecting Tony, does he need one too?"  Dean groaned but said it was likely.  "Call Sheppard to have someone check him?"  He said he would and he was only a few hours away so they'd do his soon; Sam had flown back to handle Xander's.  Then he hung up.  Gibbs put his phone back in his pocket.  "You'll survive and make it through this, DiNozzo."  He walked off, leaving him in there.  "Expect Dean Winchester to come in for the exorcisms, Ducky.  Apparently it slipped from Xander to him."

"That's unusual."

"That bond," he said dryly.

"Hmm.  I'll let him in when he shows up."  Gibbs walked off shaking his head.  "Very unusual."

***

John, Xander, and Tony showed up on their own dream plane 'room', looking at each other.  "Now that we've all been exorcized... Xander, how many did you keep this time?"

"Five, six.  Two housewives, one of which could cook, the local town blacksmith, which is kinda a happy for me.  He was making swords.  The others are kind of blurry.  I think they were average people.  No one I recognize right off."

"Do we need to remove them too?" Tony asked.

"No, they left a taint, like the soldier did," John told him.  "Thankfully I got two others that did the same to me."  Xander grinned.  "One was one of the most ineffectual doctors on the face of the earth."

Tony smirked.  "I got one from a working girl."

"So we can let you do more slutty things?" Xander teased.

Tony pinched him.  "No because I can't be as sore as John is."

"That was Muffin," Xander defended.

John looked at him.  "You had your share of making me sore," he said dryly.  Xander just grinned.  "No more snack cakes for a while, Xander."  He gave them both a kiss.  "I can hear someone in my room."  He woke himself up, staring at Teyla.  "Are you possessed?" he asked since she didn't look like herself.  She didn't say anything.  He grabbed his comm and put it in, calling a doctor and for some holy water.  He knew the exorcism chant by heart having heard it for over a day.

No one he knew was ever going to Sunnydale ever again!

The End.
 
 

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