Hunting the Horribles.

John walked back into his office, looking at the nice hanging organizer full of little boxes.  "Thank you, Lorne," he called.  "That works real well."

He leaned in with a smile.  "I thought it might since they won't all fit in your desk.  They're all labeled too in case you need to toss one to him suddenly."

"We promised we would."  He looked at him.  "Can you gather Woolsey, my team, your team, and make sure Teyla isn't eating?  O'Neill's coming to brief about something we found out."  He nodded, calling to gather them.

Woolsey came in.  "Why am I being included?"

"Because it's important for the city's safety."  He grabbed two things and walked out.  "General."

"Good," Jack said, counting noses.  Ronon and Teyla came in last.  "Yesterday, we found out something very interesting yet disturbing."

"Harris has *more* weapons hidden?" Lorne asked with a smirk.

"No, and Tony told the local demon club that if they had to pay him in artillery to give it directly to me," John told him.

"No, we found something even worse.  The Gou'ald have decided to hide.  The ones that made it down here included a queen."

"That sounds bad," Teyla said.  "That's the parasite that lives in the stomach, correct?"  Jack nodded.  "It takes over the host?"

"It does but the larva first have to mature," Jack said.  "Which means they have to have something like a Jaffa host.  They're not taken over but it gives them a longer life, better healing, all that good stuff."  Everyone nodded at that.  "The problem is we found one inside a vampire."

Lorne burst out laughing.  "General, good joke."

John shook his head.  "I staked it."  Everyone groaned.  "We tracked down another last night to question it."

"The queen is in LA," he announced.  "There's another queen in Colorado.  We'll be dealing with it with Mitchell's team."

"So guess what we get to do," John finished grimly.

"Please tell me that the gou'ald can't take over other species?" Woolsey asked.

"There's a few species that would make excellent hosts," John said.  "Vampires use a very strong underground though.  Weapons, people trafficking, some light drugs.   Yes, she used minions in LA but the head ones aren't dumb."

"So we're going to go staking?" Lorne asked.

"We're going to be backing up the main hunters in LA and making sure every single little larva is dead.  If we find out any normals have been infected, we're to capture for medical intervention.  Subtly, people."

"An average queen can have three ...litters for lack of a better word a year.  She can produce up to a hundred larva at a time."

"A vampire can make 3-5 minions a night," John added.  "Or one childe and they are in minions.  They're less smart, cannon fodder sorts."

"Are we expecting that some are stored and waiting to be implanted?" one of Lorne's team asked.

"Possibly, not real sure since there's over a thousand vampires living in LA," Jack admitted.  "Do we know how to kill a larva if we see one?"

"Right behind the head," Lorne said.  "Or burn the sucker."

"That'll work," Jack agreed.  "I know this isn't your usual thing, guys, but we don't want this to get into the public notice.  Harris has *an* agent he knows and trusts.  I'm going to brief him because he does know about demons already."

"We saw the shutdown of that restaurant," one guy said, turning green.

"I've seen the one in London from Xander's memories," John said.  "It's *so* disgusting and stinks like hell in there."

"My stomach's not that strong," Ronon complained, belching and covering his mouth.

"Not a problem," Jack assured him.  "The team in LA consists of 1 young man who has the status of chosen warrior."

"Connor is stronger, faster, and has vampire parents but is not turned," John said.  "He is a good gauge of what a vampire can fight like if you guys wanted to see if he would spar.  I leave that to you guys.  Also, we'll have a vampire hunting street gang behind us.  Their leader, Gunn, is an integral part of the team.  So is Fred/Illyria."

"Wasn't she mentioned somewhere in ancient mythology?" Lorne asked.

"Yes.  She was a God-King.  Her minions put her into the body of a human and she's now stuck in there.  She's helping out.  Again, stronger, faster, has no idea about gou'ald.  Xander called and asked if she knew anything about them and she said she didn't remember any.  There is one *major* problem.  Their name is Wolfram and Hart.  For those who've been on leave and been approached by the scum sucking lawyers, that's them and they are working on the wrong side of the light totally.  The invasion was some of their people and some others."  They all groaned.  "They are *literally* the law firm for hell.  So anyone who talks to them off base, be very careful and be mindful of that fact.  Please spread that around, Woolsey."

"They have a local office?"

"Yes.  It's that blue and silver building Teyla thought had a pretty sky design."

"Oh, crap.  Them.  They tried to talk to me too.  I said IOA and they backed off."

"Interestingly enough, they're doing the defense of the members that got arrested," Jack said dryly.

"Evil lawyers, who would've thought," Lorne quipped.  The others snickered.  "When are we going?"

"0300.  We'll beam there, recon the area, follow them in just after dawn since they'll be sleeping.  Everyone wears full tactical gear," John ordered.  "Especially around the neck."

One guy raised his hand.  "Crosses?"

"Work on about ninety percent of the species.  If you've got one, wear it if you want.  Make sure it doesn't get tangled or ripped off."  He nodded at that, fingering his.  "Today, get some rest, clean your weapons, grab extra thermal ammo.  We'll be using the live thermal inducing rounds, people.  They are flammable but so is everyone else going.  Be careful, we don't want to start fires."  They all nodded.  "Those who are rated to use swords, go for it and bring one.  Use your gun primarily."

One of the ones from team 8 raised his hand.  "Us, sir?"

"No.  Your team is on guard duty tomorrow since we won't be here."  He nodded.  "They probably won't visit but news of the apocalypse didn't fully hit this coast so there's some panicking going on after Tony announced it at a demon bar.  Also, if anyone comes up to any member of the project and tells them that they're paying their poker debt to someone and hands you artillery, hand it to me.  We agreed that they could pay me if they had to pay him in artillery."  Lorne and a few others laughed.

"Sure, laugh now," Jack said dryly.  "Half the confiscated stuff went to Cleveland.  You guys only got a third of it."  Lorne gaped at John.

"Kitten poker."

Lorne moaned.  "I'm sorry your husband is driving you insane, sir."

"It's that or cats.  I'd rather have the heavy metal babies than the furry ones beyond the dog.  They don't require fed.  Just the occasional pet."  They all laughed at that.  "Any other questions?"  No one said anything.  "Good.  Rodney, make sure Radek can handle the lab for two days.  Guys, backpack for gear and one change."  They nodded.  "Stand down, get some rest, be sure to eat.  I have no idea where we're eating tomorrow."  They walked off talking.  A few went to warn the base gossips about Wolfram and Hart.  He looked at Jack.  "We got a third?"

"I have the rest."   He handed over that bag.

John smiled.  "Lorne made me a hanging organizer."

"That's nice of him."  He smirked at Woolsey.  "Okay, any problems before I hit LA and then DC?"

"Not that I'm aware of.  Will the team in Colorado need backup?"

"They've got three slayers going," John told him.

"Good.  I hope it's an easy hunt."

"That's why we're going during the day."  He walked off to put up his other weapons.

Woolsey looked at Jack.  "Will I have to brief this agent?"

"No.  He knows about demons, he doesn't need to know about the program or the city.  He knows that Xander has a husband who is in a classified project because apparently he wanted to know what had happened in Sunnydale and found his name."  That got a nod.  "We've done a check on him.  His brother nearly got recruited once.  His father's an architect.  He's an agent.  Not a problem."

"Good.  Anything else we have to be aware of?"

"Update the tags on the base-use cars," John called.  "One's tag is nearly expired.  General Landry didn't update the year on them."

"I can check into that.  I have the paperwork in my office," Woolsey agreed.  "Have a good trip, General."

"Take some pepto, Woolsey.  It always helped Hammond."  He got beamed to LA, walking out of the alley and into the federal building.  "I need to see Agent Granger please?"

"He's out on a call, sir."

"Is Epps in?"

"No, sir."

"All right, have one call me ASAP," he ordered, writing down the phone number to the cell he had.  She nodded and paged them.  Jack walked off and his phone rang by the time he got outside.  "Granger, this is General Jack O'Neill.  I'm here to brief you as a head's up.  You and Epps only."  He listened to the quiet question.  "No, it relates back to Mr. Harris' friends.  Your building.  I can do that."  He got into a taxi and headed to the address once he had hung up.  He walked into the small bar and found them at a back table.  One that had a lot of clear area around it.

"Shit, you are that guy that was at the invasion," Colby said.  "Sir."  He saluted.

Jack waved it off with a smile.  "You're retired and I'm not pissed at you."  He sat down.  "Something in the classified project I run, that Harris' husband works on, is being added to the problems that Harris deals with," he said quietly.

"Another really disgusting restaurant?" Don asked.

"No, I wish.  Controlling parasites that're taking over vampires."  Don and Colby both stared at him.  "We found some last night.  Tomorrow, bright and early, some of my people are going to be following Connor Angel's group to deal with it."

"Why tell us?" Epps asked.

"Who'd get called if a bunch of military guys with guns starts stalking around the warehouse district?" Colby asked him.

"Good point.  One day?"

"We think maybe two, we're hoping for one.  They will be using live flare ammo."  Colby shuddered.  "It's the fastest and easiest way.  We're hoping nothing comes to you guys' attention but in case, we're giving you a head's up."

"Thank you.  I'll slip that it's a training exercise if anyone asks or the press notes it."

"That'll work," he agreed.  "I'm not asking you guys to get involved but we're hoping it hasn't spread to humans.  They can and have, originally they were in some humans."

"How would we know if we find one you guys missed?" Colby asked.

"They tend to create stomach pouches.  They're also about as strong and fast as Connor is."

"Okay, so we're sure he's not?"

"Yes.  His is heritage."

"That'll be fine.  If we find one we'll call."

"If the parasite is older, it can make their eyes glow.  If you see that, definitely call one of us."  They both nodded.  "Good."

"Why tell us?" Colby asked.

"Harris," Don Epps said, getting a nod back.  "He said he trusted me."

"He did, and we almost recruited your brother once."  He smirked.  "I like Harris; he's a smartass.  His husband is one of my top colonels."  They smiled at that.  "Also, if you hear of someone wanting to pay Harris in artillery, send them to his husband John.  He's in San Francisco and they can find him up there if they have contacts.  The kid's been stockpiling because we're about to have at least one apocalypse, if not three."

"Here?" Don asked.

"No clue."

"Does he still have weapons?"

"Minor guns, swords.  His husband is keeping the rest for him."

Epps smiled.  "That might keep him out of trouble."

"We hope so.  I like the kid and his dog."  He stood up.  "Let me know if something comes up I need to hear."  He left them alone.


Xander walked out of the portal at the bar, looking back.  "Wow, they're uptight."  He shouldered his pack and carried the other bag, the dog following him.   He got a taxi and headed to the Hyperion.  The driver didn't bat an eye at a guy with bags coming out of a bar at 2 am.  Long live LA!

Gunn looked up when he and the dog walked in.  "Harris."

"Gunn."  They shook hands.  "Do we have intel on their breeding grounds?"

"Three different areas.  A few humans we've already quarantined."

"Cool beans.  John and his people are due in about 3."

"That'll be fine," he agreed.  "What did you bring?"

"Hunting kit, food for the dog, food for the Xander.  Something for John that I was working on yesterday and earlier."  He smiled.  "The demon bar where I am is all but closed.  Totally locked up earlier.  I had to break in to use the portal.  Tony told them about the Powers thing going on and they all fled."

Gunn pulled out a notepad and added that to it.  "Any of the ones in the city itself?"

"I talked with Oakland's council earlier.  They're nervous but they think the protections on the bay will protect them.  The one in San Fran too but they've been sending more vulnerable people to the midwest."

"Less demon areas there," Gunn agreed.  "Less chance of the Powers going at it too."

"Yup."  He put the bags on the table and looked around.  "Asleep?"


"Cool.  Let me crash on a couch.  Let John wake me when he gets in."

"Sure."  He watched the boy lay down, looking over the list of places where demons were fleeing.  He added the notes about Oakland and San Francisco to it.   They all knew the Bay had a lot of protection for some reason.  And now a holy city that demons were in awe of.  He looked up as the military guys appeared.  "Damn that's handy."

John smirked.  "Sometimes, yeah."  He spotted the dog on Xander's chest, both snoring.  "Aww."  He looked at Gunn.  "Intel?"

"Three probable location," he said, pulling out the maps.  "He said for you to wake him."

John looked over, thinking at Xander.  Xander mumbled and shifted, making the dog wake up.  She stretched once she was on the floor, coming over to sniff all them.  She barked at her littermates, then nuzzled Lorne, who gave her treats and good ear pets.  She let the daddy pet her then went back to bed.  Silly humans knew it was dark out.  The other daddy wasn't wiggling so it was good to nap on him.

Lorne snickered.  "She's a cute furry kid, sir.  Xander?" he called a bit loudly.  Xander woke with a start.  "We're here."

Xander let the dog have the couch and walked over with a yawn.  "Sorry.  Slept earlier but still a short day."  He dug something out, handing it to John.  "Like mine."

John looked at the pretty dagger.  It had a wrapped handle.  The base of the blade was straight then it tapered out into a more gothic arch shape to the point.  "Sweet."  He put it on his belt.  Xander smiled.  "Anything else good that you brought?"

"Few things.  Including the vest that someone nicely sold me for twenty bucks."  He looked at the maps.  "Which way is easiest, Gunn?"

"I'd say hit this one first.  It's got the greater number and they were having a party earlier so we've got some fledges."  Xander pulled out the air gun system, putting the canister on his waist and wrapping the tubing up under his shirt and down his sleeve.  The trigger was hidden inside.  "Please don't play Rambo?  It makes Connor jealous."

"I'm not.  I can mini stake the yet-to-rise."

"That's not a bad plan," Gunn agreed.  He went over the street view and the warehouse view.  They had some good cover.  Xander went up to annoy everyone else into getting up to join them about five.  They got food ordered in from one of the local 'country kitchen' places that Gunn knew.  Connor grunted at them.  Gunn looked at Connor.  "Not awake?"

"I'm fine," he grunted.

Xander waved and the dog came over, pouncing Connor down to lap him into being happier.  Just like she did Sam Carter most of the time.

"Eww!  Dog breath!" he complained.  "Muffin!  Get off!"  She lapped him again.  "C'mon, please?  I'll quit grunting."  She stared at him.  "You're so strange, dog.  Xander warped you badly."

"She's fine," John said.  "Thank you, Muffin."  She came trotting over to get good ear pets from Teyla for her good job.  "I can't believe you taught her that."

"It makes Sam happy."

"I'm sure it does."  He shook his head even though the others were laughing.

"Maybe you can let someone on base who's a bit irritating have that done to them?" Lorne suggested.

John looked at him.  "Don't tempt me."

"The last time she saw Rodney, she knocked him down and sat on his back," Xander told him.  "It made Radek cackle.  People ran from Radek."

"I'd run from him cackling too," one of Lorne's team said dryly.  "Poochy, you friendly?"  She barked and let him pet her ears.  "You're a good dog."

"Muffin's trained to help me hunt demons," Xander told him.  "She's a very good dog."  She came over to bounce around him, letting him grab some of her treats from the bag.  He even tossed one, making her run to catch it.

"A canine," Illyria said.  "How unusual."

"She's trained to hunt with me, Illryia."

"As I said, unusual."  She watched the dog come back to nuzzle the human parent.  "Is she going with us?"

"Yes," Xander said patiently.  Sometimes he wasn't sure Fred wasn't in there making Illyria be so...British.  Wesley came down.  "Wes."

"Xander.  Muffin," he greeted, letting her sniff him then petting her ears.  "Are we set?"

"Nearly," Gunn said, checking the time.  "We'll go in about thirty, that'll give them an hour to settle in, brush their fangs, that stuff."

Connor snickered.  "With the bad breath some have, I don't think they brush all that often."

"Well, they're dead so I'd expect them to stink at least slightly," Xander offered.  "Especially in the first few days from the corpse decaying germs."

"Eating," John complained, cracking some people up.

"Sorry.  I guess this is like our version of shop talk."  He settled in to nibble on his egg bagel with cheese.  "How's the local community dealing?"

"Half of them headed for Greece to cheer everything on," Connor said.  "Half are scared as hell."

"Why Greece?" Lorne asked.

"The next major thing rising might be there," Xander sighed.  "But she won't because that's one Ethan got told to take care of by Janus."  Lorne gave him an odd look.  "Yes, he's real.  Otherwise I wouldn't have memories from the Vietnam war."  He stuffed his mouth again.

"I thought," Lorne started.

"He took the name," John said.  "Longer than average story.  Ask Jackson."

"No thank you.  He tends to lecture for *hours* on end."  They all smiled at him for that.  "Hey, I've only heard, never been the victim of one."

"Daniel lectured me all night one night about pagan altars and not being what they seemed.  So I had Ethan come talk to him."  Xander smiled sweetly at that.  John choked.  Connor gave him a horrified look and even the dog stared at him.  "What?  He was in a happy mood.  He had gotten back at Giles again.  Buffy was huffy about his existence.  Willow was plugged into the Janus network and chained down.  It was nice of him.  They bonded over ancient rituals."  He smiled sweetly at them.

Connor groaned.  "Isn't it your job to make him reasonably normal?" he asked John.  "Everyone says that's a boyfriend's job."

"I try, but I only get so much time off base."  Xander cackled.  "You need more sleep."

"Sorry.  I'll nap later.  I've had a good seven hours though."

"Good.  Gear up," John ordered.  He checked his own vest and gear.  Xander was putting on one.  "Is that missing a panel?"

"Right under my left armpit and one's chipped in the back, but it was cheap.  I can replace those."

"Good point."  He checked it for him.  Xander put on everything else.  "Where... poker debt?" he asked, watching him put on the earpiece and neck microphone.

"Nope, yard sale."  He beamed.  He checked, loading up on weapons and then one final stake inside his vest and then a handgun.  "Okay."

"Must you?" Connor complained.

"Yes, because you're going to be leading them."  He smiled.  "It's all right if I make you feel less than manly, Connor."

"Not hardly, Harris.  I'm plenty manly, thank you."  Gunn and Wesley both snickered.  "What?" he complained.  "I am."

"He and your father used to get into the same sort of baiting arguments," Wesley told him.

"Don't remind me," Xander said dryly. "Besides, I like Connor more.  He's not cryptic, he's not stalkerish, he's a decent hunter, we don't have to worry about soul clauses....  I'd even trust him to date Dawn.  Or if I had a daughter thanks to some demented plan of Willow's again."

"What?" Connor asked.

"The witch tried to do fertility magic on him," Illyria said.  "I felt it happen."

"Yeah, she tried really hard and it didn't get finished," John told him.  "That's why she limps.  Astral injuries."

Gunn shuddered.  "That's so bad."

"But fun," John said with a smirk at Xander, who ducked his head with a slight blush.  "Let's go."  They walked out, getting into the vans Gunn's people arranged.  Once they got there, they formed into teams.  John led the team following Connor in.  Connor snuck very well.  They surprised the vampires lining up the new bodies and moved in.  The flammable rounds worked well.  Xander came in to air shoot little bits of wood into the chests of the newly dead.  A few dusted the rest stayed.  Xander moved off into the shadows, waving.  John's team followed, finding what he was hearing.  A gurgling pool of very nasty looking water.  "Larva," he said.

Xander pulled around his backpack, finding the lighter fluid.  He held it up and John smirked.  "Do we need a count?"

"Nope."  They squirted it and John lit it, getting out of the way.  Xander kicked the plug out so it wouldn't start an electrical fire too.

"Pyro," Gunn said as he walked in.

"Sometimes fire pretty," Xander said dryly.  They watched it burn before leaving.  Xander came back and got one that had been hiding in a sewer drain then followed, shaking his head.  They had left without him so he went hunting the normal way.  Yup, he found a whole group full of them.  In a club.  Aw shit.  He sent that to John, who ordered him to stay put and watch.  So Xander got a bottle of juice from the bartender, who sneered but oh well, and went to watch the floor.  "Disco revival hell," he muttered, spotting some of them.  "Seventies vampires, you can always tell."  He sniffed then sipped his juice.  It was good.  He looked around.  The dog had went with John so that was fine.  The others were rushing around dealing with warehouses.  Xander saw one and she was putting out serious lust.  So why wasn't he affected?  He heard from Tony that it was probably the same reason that he hadn't reacted to Sam Carter that morning.   Or the hyena taint.  Xander shrugged it off and walked down there.  "May I?" he asked, looking her over.

"Puny mortal," she sneered but moved closer.

"Less with the puny or the mortal."  He looked her over.  "Maybe you're not my type after all.  Pretty but not dangerous."  He walked off smirking.  She shrieked and grabbed him, kissing him.  He pulled back.  "Really?  Is that all you have?"

"I have the ability to rule all planes," she said.  "I only need a good king to help me."

"Hmm.  I've heard that before.  Too many women brag."

She raised a hand but he caught it.  She smiled and stroked his cheek with her nails.  "I could be very kind to someone who would use my skills well."

"I'm sure you would."  He looked her over.  "What can you offer me beyond power? Power I can get with many women."

"I can give you immeasurable wealth.  The power to rule stars."

"Excuse me," a cultured, British voice said.  "I believe she's mine."

Xander looked at him and shot him with one of the flammable rounds.  Unfortunately it only burned a huge hole in his chest cavity.  "Really?  You think?"  She gave him a long stare.  He quirked up an eyebrow.  "What?  He was annoying me."

She purred and swayed closer.  "I like a man who likes weapons."

"Thankfully he likes his husband's better," Sam said, shooting her from behind.  "Xander," she chided.

"What?  Not like she was affecting me."  He pointed.  "Yours?"

"Yeah, ours."  She sneered.  "Where's everyone else?"

"They forgot me."

"Oh.  Okay.  Well, we're done."

"All of them?"

"Yeah.  Why?"

"Where's the slayers?"


"Sam, slayers?"

"No idea what you're talking about, Xander."

Xander relayed that to John, who groaned and said to keep her occupied.  Xander moved closer.  "Dance since we're creating a scene?"

"Sure."  She moved closer.  Xander looked at the guy walking up behind her.  They didn't *quite* get Cam right.  A bit too square jawed.  "Helping?"


"Okay.  We're trying not to make a scene."  He got them off the floor and out of the way.  "So, what's up?"

"Coming to see how your hunting went."

Xander shrugged.  "We found one."

"Good," Sam agreed, looking around.  "Too many tasteless vampires."

"Yeah, well, there's a huge knot of seventies era ones.  They never want to change their style," he said with a point.  She looked and laughed.  Cam shuddered.

John walked up behind them and zatted them both.  "I have no idea who they are, but they did get Cam really wrong," he said.  He smiled at Xander.  "Better?"

"Sure, but I know you're not John."

"Yes I am."

"No you're not, he's swearing in Latin because the dog just saved him and Lorne from a Frolanx."

John glared at him.  "How do you know that?"

Xander smiled.  "If you were really him, you'd know."  That one lunged at him.  Thankfully, he didn't fight as well as John did.  Xander could kick this one's ass.  And did.  It was very helpful.  He looked down at him, barely panting.  "Hi.  Now, who the hell are you?  Tell me now or else."

"Sir, we don't allow domestic disputes," a bouncer complained.

"That's cool because he's not my husband."  He looked up.  "As you very well know, Tommy.  Hi, haven't seen you since you worked the Bronze."

"Hey, Harris.  He's not?"

"No.  The same as the other two aren't them."  He looked but the not Sam was gone.  He shrugged.  "I'll get her later since I tagged her."  Tommy laughed.  "Anyway."  He smiled.  "Here on business, dude.  Snakes in the belly?"

"Few.  You got one earlier."

"I knew that.  Any here?"

"Six, seven dozen."

"Any innocent bystanders?"

"Few more than the snakes."

"Crap.  I was going to pull a Buffy."  Tommy laughed.  He shrugged and kicked the not John again.  John winced mentally and he cooed and patted him on the head.  He sighed.  "Can you...." he said, waving a hand.

"Sure.  We can tie them up."

"Thanks.  I'll be back for them in a bit."  He walked off checking his supplies.  He was running low on bullets.  Yay him.  He found where they were and waved at one of Gunn's guys, making him follow.  "Huge ass club full of problems, man."



"Yeah, we know.  Can't do anything."

"I can."  He kicked open the door and strode in.  "Bitch, you have my man!" he shouted.  "And I'm not happy!"  She sneered at him.  He shot her.  Lorne groaned.  "I said, get away from my husband.  Now!"  She flinched back.  He kicked her and she hit the wall.  Then she sneered and started to broadcast.  "Pitiful wench," he sneered, lighting something.  He tossed it on her, lighting her clothes.  He moved closer, watching her try to put it out.  "What?  Can't take it?"  He punched her, then kicked her in the jaw.  She screamed.  "Where's my dog while I'm at it?"

"The van," Gunn's guy said.

"Cool."  He stepped on her chest, pressing down.  "Give me one reason why I shouldn't vent on you."

"I can help you rule the world," she promised.

"I've already got four species that're scared shitless of me.  Why do I need your pitiful species?"

"I'm not pitiful!" she shouted.

"Well, yeah, you are.  Because you use other beings.  I find that pathetic."  He pulled his dagger, making her gasp at it.  "Pretty, huh?  I made it the other day."  He stared down at her.  "I want the names, locations, and species of all the ones you've infected.  Every last damn one.  Before I lose my temper, woman.  Because I will make your species fear me too."

"You're a tau'ri.  Pitiful, powerless."  He created a ball of light and she shrieked, backing away from him.  "What are you!"

"Better than you at nearly everything but looking like a ho."  He shot her in the stomach pouch.  "Now, I want that list, woman.  Before I do you and make you meet your version of God."

"I will not!"  He pointed the gun at her head.  "Then you won't get anything."

"I'll get it from someone else.  There's plenty that would *love* for me to cancel their debts that way."  She let out a wail then went limp.  Xander shot the snake crawling through her hair. "Sure, I can do that."  He walked over to his spouse, staring at him.  "Clearly, the woman decided you could be led around by your dick, dear."  He got him freed and walked off.  "Going to deal with a club full of vampires."

"Wait, Xander," John called.  "We're coming."  He got free and let Lorne free, hurrying after him with Ronon.  He and Teyla had been on the other team and had regrouped to help them after their objective was done.  He caught up to him. "It's pheromones.  Sorry."

"I know.  Not your fault.  Think we could put Tony into that outfit?"

"I want to see you suggest it," he said dryly.  "Or the one from _Queen of the Damned_."

Xander hummed.  "Maybe.   Has some potential."  Tony growled out a 'shut up and I'm not doing it'.  "Someone's grumpy."

"We'll make him feel better later.  Club full of vamps?"

"Yeah.  Even some stuck in disco."

"Eww."  Xander grinned.  They walked in and there were a lot less people.  "Any idea?"

"Yeah."  He nodded at Tommy.  "Down or out?"

"Out.  Grids."

"Thank you."  Gunn's people took the two hostages.  They gathered the bodies too.  Xander knew, basically, where that club was.  He ran into Gunn and Wes.  "Grids?"

"The club?" Gunn guessed.  Xander nodded.  "Vamp central."

"I know, so was there earlier.  I found a few and a few not-thems too."  He groaned.  "So?"

"Barrio."  He gave him an address.

"Gracias," Xander said dryly, walking off.  "Any extra ammo?  I'm nearly out."

"Not really."

"Shoot.  Artillery?  Did you bring me my babies?"

"Two.  In case it became critical.  Too heavy for a club that might have civilians."

"Damn."  He shrugged.   "Okay."  They hijacked a van, without the dog unfortunately, and drove to the club.  John got to drive this time.  Ronon grunted in displeasure.  Xander looked back at him.  "What?  Upset tummy trouble?"

"Not hardly.  This is foolish."

"No, because I shot one of the queens in the club.  And another pompous ass sort of guy.  Oh, and we had the not-Sam and the not-Cam too then a not-John.  The not-Sam got away but I tagged her with a chemical tracer dot."  Ronon whimpered at that.  "So, yeah, necessary."  He shrugged.  "Watch out for the disco vamps.  They'll turn your stomach."

"Are they scarred or something?"

"No, horrifying clothes.  Really disgusting."  They found the club with a bit of guidance from Xander.  They stared, then they went in. Xander walked in boldly, getting a lot of attention.

"It's not halloween," someone shouted, getting a laugh.  Xander got them with his air hose system.  They dusted up with a scream.

"Really?" he asked dryly.  "You so sure about that?"  He looked at the suddenly staring crowd.  "Some of you know me.  I only want the ones with the extra slimy passengers in their bodies.  This time."  A few shifted.  "The rest of you I'd let run but if I have to check each and every one of you, I won't be happy.  You're cutting into my sex time.  Now, who has a snake in their gut?"  A few got pushed out.   "John, would you please?"

"Gladly."  He came over to check them.

Ronon stared at a few.  "They do too."  They got handed over.  He stared around.  "We will feed him sugar and coffee until he bounces," he noted.  A few started to cry.

Xander pulled out a can of Mountain Dew and opened it, taking a sip.

"Xander, that's cruel," John complained, dusting the last one.

"It's been a few hours since breakfast."  He took another drink.  "I have ho-hos too."  They all stared at him.  "I can eat them and then check people for snakes."  He smiled before taking another drink.  "If I don't get them all, I can't go bounce around with my dog and my husband being fondly tolerant until he cures me of it."

John took the can.  "Don't make me calm you down.  You'll throw my back again like you did after the clean out."  He finished it and looked around.  "Anyone else before we have to check?"  They all stared.

"Okay, let's try this.  Who has an opening on their stomachs?  Everyone check your stomachs.  Does it have an open area on it?  Beyond your belly button?" he asked, talking down to them.  Minions!  Really dumb minions!  Ronon kept from laughing when a few people moaned that they had one and hadn't known.  Xander got them.  "Okay, anyone else?"

"I have something but it's not a snake," one said.  "Wanna check it, Harris?"

Xander stared at him.  "You go right ahead and show us."  He dropped his pants.  Xander looked then shrugged.  "I've seen better on my dog and she's a girl."  He turned around and walked off.  "I'd run from LA, people, Connor's outside."  They screamed and fled.  "Ah, the benefits of a scary reputation," he sighed.  "And really dumb minions."

John nodded.  "Yes, they were."

"My brain is starting to hurt.  Is that sort of stupidity contagious?"

"Only if you're in a frat house, Ronon," Xander quipped.  Connor gave him a dirty look.  "I let the rest flee from you."  He grinned.

Connor sniffed.  "Did you *really* have to have the Mountain Dew?"

"Yeah, they were going to make me check each and every really stupid minion."

"Some looked and realized they had holes in their stomachs," Ronon told him.

"Oh, Goddess," Connor complained.  "I hate that sort."

"Look at it this way.  Some master vamp somewhere will pick them up as helpers sometime.  It'll make him or her easier to take down."

Connor nodded.  "I can see Dru doing that."

"She might like them for being pettable and breakable.  You never know."  He walked toward the van.  "Did we get them all?"

"All but maybe one queen," Gunn said.

"Counting the one I got in the first club?"

"You did?"  One of his boys hissed something at him.  "Yeah, that's her by what we know."  He shook his head.  Xander was very...bad some days.  Strange the rest.  Today he wasn't sure which.  The dog got let out and nuzzled the daddy then bounced around with him for a bit.

"What happened to the not people?" John asked.

"Tied up."

"I'll get someone to deal with them."  He called the base.  "It's Sheppard, get me Landry.  We have at least one not-SG-1 member here in LA under quarantine and a few others.  Three queens down, one bad guy down, looks like Ba'al."  Wesley stiffened but he waved him off.  "Sir.  No, they ran into Xander when he was helping.  No, sir, we had forgotten him when he went back to get another vampire.  Three queens.  One not-Cam and he's not very good.  One not me that's pathetic and whining.  He said he ran into a not-Carter as well.  Yes we do.  LA, sir.  Yes, sir, Hyperion.  Thank you, General."  He hung up.  "He'll come get the quarantined ones as well," he told Gunn.

"That's cool.  Thanks.

"Dean told me about a creature called a skinwalker," Xander said.  "Any chance they are, Wes?"

"No, I doubt that.  They usually take and kill the originals.  How did he meet one?"

"One pretended to be him and killed a bunch of people until he and Sam stopped it."

"Yeah, that's the sort of being we don't want in LA," Gunn decided.  "English?"

"No.  Not probable."

"Good!  I like that answer," Connor said.  He looked at Xander.  "Can you go home now before I suddenly need to find myself a dog?"

"Muffin's a wonderful pet," he defended.  "She loves me, she cuddles, she helps me read, we go for runs.  It's good for a person to have a pet."

"I'm not ready for one yet.  They make you mushy."

"You can ask Willow.  I think she turned Kennedy into a cat recently."

Gunn walked off snickering.  "No thanks," Connor said.  "Please?  We promise we won't molest or touch your husband if you wanted to go back into normal, goofy Xander mode.  You can do that and sleep the rest of today while we see if we need to clean up more sights."  He heard a fight start in the bar and sighed.  "Any innocents?"

"Nope."  He handed him something from his bag, undoing the shrinking band.  "Go for it."

Connor looked, taking off the safety before walking inside and spraying the crowd with the tommy-gun like tooth pick shooter.  They screamed but everyone dusted.   He walked back out.  "Thanks for the toy."

"Welcome."  He smiled at John.  "Andrew."

"Figures."  He walked him and the dog back to the van, getting inside.  "Do we need to find rooms, Connor?"

"No, you guys can have the third floor.  It's empty.  Be as loud as you want calming him down."  The others snickered at that.  "We heard Anya said he was," he complained.

"Not really," Xander said.  "Guys, rest, let the rest of the suckers gather, complain, and let us know how many are left or do we have another target?"

"No, no other target.  Guys, let's go rest."  They nodded.  It was nearly noon, more than time to take a nap since they had been up since about 2.  He looked at Xander.  "Is it just being in LA that made you pull out all the weapons?"

"Ummmm, huh?" he asked.

He smiled.  "You and Connor seem to be a bit competitive with each other."

"No, not really."

"No, he's doing it to out-macho him," Lorne said.  "I don't know why."

"I'm special," Connor said with a smirk.  "I let Xander have his petty macho complex."

"Quit watching Oprah, Connor," Gunn complained.  "Gotta say it, Xander looks much more tough today.  Maybe it's the eyepatch with the bulletproof vest."

Connor glared.  "He is not."

"Hey, I'm only keeping up," Xander said dryly.

"If you say so," John said dryly.  "C'mon."  They drove back to the Hyperion.  He knew what Xander was feeling, that 'I'm the normal one' problem that had come out in the past.  So he'd calm him down for a bit.  Then he'd get to steal a few of them for his later use.  "Anyone injured?" he asked.

"I did bring my smaller kit," Xander offered.  They all stared at him.  "Not like we went to the ER, guys.  Especially not Sunnydale's."

"I got a few scratches," one guy said.

Xander pulled out his medical kit and pointed at a seat.  "Sit conveniently."  The guy did when John nodded.  Xander opened it and helped him out of his shirt.  "Not too bad."  He cleaned, bandaged, and got him a lollipop from the bag in there.  The guy smirked, walking off shaking his head.  Rodney stole one so Xander checked him over.

"I'm fine!"

"That's my line.  You steal it and John'll treat you like he did me the other night when I was hurt."

"No thank you."

"Xander, you're nearly evil today," Ronon complained.

Xander looked at him.  "I am not.  Yet.  Sit."  He pointed at the chair.  Ronon walked off.  Xander grabbed him by his dreadlocks and put him into the chair.  "Teyla, hold him down for me please?  He needs a stitch or ten."  She and John came over to hold him down.  "Big guy, allergic to local?"

"I don't need painkillers."

"Okay."  He pulled on a clean pair of gloves and squatted down.  "On the table."  Ronon huffed but moved.  "Thank you.  That means I don't have to squat."  He delicately stitched the two wounds.  Then he looked up.  "Any others?  You never know what's on their fangs."

"One," he sighed, taking off his vest.

Xander looked.  "Damn, dude, did you fall on my axe?"  He opened a new stitching pack and got to work once he had injected the local.  This one was a bit more open and deep.

"You didn't have to."

"Shut up, Ronon."

"Fine."  He waited while the boy fixed him up.  "Are you done?"

Xander looked at him.  "No.  Those were the internal stitches because it's real deep."  Ronon groaned.

"It was," John admitted quietly.  "Anyone else?"

"I've got a fair hand at them myself," Wesley offered.  "It's part of Watcher training."

"That's one of the few things they teach you guys that makes absolute sense," Xander told him.

"I also took some extra classes."

"I learned the same way Willow did, from her mom's textbooks."  He finished up by bandaging it.  "Don't get it wet.  I use absorbable stitches so you don't have to worry about having them pulled," he said quietly.  "I'm sure you've had stitches before so you know how to clean and take care of them."  Ronon nodded so Xander smiled and handed him a lollipop.  "There, anyone else?"  Teyla let him clean and bandage a few small scratches she had.  He looked around.  "Guys, I'm not the mean one.  Willow pulled *way* too hard when she did them."

"Our docs might not like you doing them," Evan said.

John hauled him over.  "She can yell at me since she's not here."

"Fine."  He let Xander get the long scratch down his arm and the fang mark on his neck.  He hissed at that one.  "What's that?"

"Holy water neosporin mixed with ambesol.  Ambesol has about the same alcohol content as rubbing alcohol, the neosporin will help keep it clean, and the holy water is usually necessary."  He smiled.  "Plus you can put it on during the hunting."  He looked around once Lorne had his lollipop.  A few more groaned but came up to get scratches/cuts looked at.

Gunn showed them up to rooms, giving John and Xander a look.  "We're not prudes and you guys are married anyway."  He tossed Xander a key.  Then he walked off smirking.  Evan got the last one at the other end of the hall.

John let them into their room, looking Xander over.  "Strip off the weapons?"

Xander dropped his bag and took off his vest.  Muffin barked so they let her inside.  She had been watering bushes.  Xander pulled off his shirt, staring at John.  "Your turn."

John took off his tactical gear first, laying it in the other chair then his t-shirt.  His holster got removed then his boots, pants, and socks because they were sweaty.  Xander stripped off his faded black jeans.  They stared at each other's injuries.  Xander held up the small tube of mixed neosporin.  John nodded, taking it to do Xander's then Xander got his.  They laid down to rest, cuddling together.  It was only a full size bed.  Muffin laid behind John, making them cuddle even more.  "I'd ask but we might freak out the people up the hall," Xander whispered.

John kissed him.  "I don't care but I'm too tired right now.  Later?"


"Is that post slaying horniness?" John asked.

"Kinda.  I can easily wait."  He smiled.

John groaned, kissing him and giving him a quick hand job.   It was good enough, they could play before hunting tonight.


"Okay, who's injured?" Doctor Keller demanded when everyone was beamed back.

"We're good so far," John told her.  "Xander took care of all the minor things.  Ronon, your back?"

"Could probably used cleaned but it's fine.  I think some ash got under the bandage with the way it itches."

"Excuse me?  Your husband is a doctor?"

"They didn't go to the ER," Lorne said.  "He's actually really damn gentle.  Has a mix for hunting injuries on the go."

"He did *what*?" she demanded of John.

"Not like you came with us, Doc.  They're fine.  Please check Ronon's back."  She stopped him from moving.  "He learned from the textbooks.  Most hunters have at least a decent bit of medic training."

"Medic training doesn't let you do stitches!" she complained.

"It does when your local hospital has a practice of selling victims."  She glared.  He stared back.  "You can call and ask him what he knows how to do.  You can check over Ronon's since he took a lot of damage on his back."  He walked around her, going to his room.  "Do I have to retrieve anything, guys?"

"No, sir," one called down from the observation lounge.  "Good hunting?"

"Fairly not bad.  Too many of them to count."

"Six unexpected targets," Lorne agreed.  "Including two clubs full of vampires."

"Infirmary," Doctor Keller ordered.

"Shower," Lorne begged.  "We're dusty, Doc."

"You can shower in there."

They all sighed but followed.  John could be retrieved.  He got to be dragged by Ronon since he had so nicely offered him up for examination.

"Doc, I need a shower," John complained.  "We just got done with the last hunt."

"I don't care.  You can shower after I check you over."

"If I'm full of dust, is it really going to help you?" he countered.


He held up a hand.   "Post battle energy," he said simply.  She grimaced but pointed.  "Thank you."  He went to shower off the dust and to snark at his mate, who was nearly dancing from the excess energy.  Xander sent back a snark and Tony got them both for distracting him from the oh so fun exercise of paperwork.  They sent mental cheek laps like the dog would do, making him laugh.  He finished cleaning off.  He walked into an ambush from the doctor.   He sat down in his boxers on the table with a huff.  She smirked but he knew his mate had done a good job.  She was getting huffy about it so he smirked at her when she got back to him.  "Well?"

She glared at him.  "I do not like you going to non-doctors."

"He's nicer with his needles."

"He was definitely more gentle," Ronon agreed.  "Even used things to numb it when I didn't ask him to."

"He did decent enough work."

"Pull the stick out, Doc," John ordered.  "Hunters don't get regular medical or paid.  We have to do most of the small stuff ourselves.  Most hunters can stitch, pull bullets or fragments of wood, and set broken bones.  ER's ask questions we don't want to answer."

"How did he learn?"

"A friend's mothers textbooks."

She sighed.  "You could have called."

"Why?  He made them let him take care of them then gave them suckers."

"You're not kids."

"No but it was nice of him," one of Lorne's guys said.  "He was very delicate, doc.  We promise.  He was nice and gentle with us.  Even made Ronon sit down by *making* him sit down."

Ronon scowled at him for that.  "It looked like you needed sparring practice when the puny vampires kept tossing you around."

The soldier gave John a begging look.  "You narked," he said.  "How's your back, doc?"

"It's fine now, Colonel."  She stared at him.  He smiled back.  "Next time, call."

"If it had been more than stitches, I would have," he assured her.  "Or taken them to one of the many hospitals in LA."  He slid off the bed.  "Anything else?  Or can I go sleep?"

"Go," she ground out.  She went to her computer to get the home number of Xander so she could bitch him out.  He should not be....  "Mr. Harris," she said.

"Doctor Keller, politely, fuck the hell off.  I'm good enough to do stitches, as you saw, and I'm more than good enough and trained by a doc who was turned, to do things up to the point of getting people out from behind enemy lines while injured," he said bluntly.  "Also, do be aware that most people do have post battle aggression issues.  Last time I slammed someone into a wall.  Since you're allllll the way over there I can't do that and since you have my husband I can't calm down in the normal way.  Now, would you like to talk about anything else before I masturbate or would you like to call back in a few hours or tomorrow when I'm calmer?"

"We will be talking."

"No, we won't.  It's not like many of your people are going to end up hunting all that often.  Therefore you can handle their military injuries.  If I'm standing there, I'm sure as hell not going to let someone suffer.  Now, do you have any complaints about my technique?"

"No," she ground out.  "You're not qualified and I can have you arrested for that.  That would be impersonating a physician."

"Doc, my husband likes you so I won't let out what I'm thinking right now.  Beyond that, we just spent two days killing things that used to be people."  She gasped.  "I know I, personally, got about fifty vampires in that two days, and another six demons beyond that, not to mention the two not-people.  I know John's unit got more than I did."

"I didn't realize....."

"Yeah, that's what hunting is, Doctor Keller.  It's not tying them up and putting them in the brig, it's ending them because it's necessary before they hurt more people.  Do you really think most of ER's in the world would like to deal with claw cuts and bite marks?"

"No," she admitted.

"Which is why every single hunter knows at least how to bandage and stitch, even if we learn it as we go.  Again, I'm not the sort to leave *anyone* injured if I can handle it and it's not too serious.  If it were more than the cut on Ronon's back, I would've driven them to the ER myself.  Now, do you have any other concerns beyond the fact that I usurped your authority?"

"No," she said more calmly.

"Good!  Then I'm going to take care of the post-battle adrenaline and you're going to quit stomping around my mate.  Thank you."  He hung up and moaned, going back to what he had been doing.  Mostly enjoying Tony's dirty thoughts.  John was doing the same so it was fun.

She hung up on her end and put her head down.   Why did she have these trials?

Woolsey walked in, giving her a look.  "Any surprise injuries?"

"No, Mr. Harris took care of them on site," she said, turning to look at him.

"Let me guess, he complained that you were complaining?"

"He gave me a good reason why he could and told me if it had been above his medic skills he would've taken them to the ER."  She leaned back, making herself relax.   "Has he been here?"

"Yes but beaming brought out that mermaid taint so badly that he nearly attacked me for saying something."  He grimaced.  "He's a strong young man."

"What do you need to know to hunt?"

"A lot.  Including not having too many problems with ending lives apparently," he admitted.

"He did point out that hunting wasn't putting them in a brig," she sighed.  "Do we think this is going to be a problem that we're going to run into with Colonel Sheppard?"

"No, I don't.  I don't think either of them would do that outside their duties."  He sat down.  "Like any other soldier, Doctor Keller, they know it may come to killing in defense of the innocent."

"So, they signed up for that duty instead of a battlefield."

"What little I've learned of the hunting community, most of them seem to have gotten into the field because something did something to them or their families.  A demon tried or managed to kill someone they knew, a ghost bothered someone too much and they knew about it, something like that."

"That's vengeance."

"Many officers go into law enforcement or the military for the same reason," he pointed out.

"They tend to get burned out very quickly though."

"Yes and I'm supposing hunters would as well.  Or they manage to get the thing that got them into the field and then go out in a blaze of glory.  It's statistically just as likely.  I know that Mr. Harris has pointed out, many times from what I've heard, that if he goes he hopes it's during an apocalypse or something.  Not from something he's hunting getting a lucky shot.  From what I understand, his reputation calls him a white knight."

"I've heard John muttering about that tendency."  She considered it.  "Do you think he's reached the burnout stage?  Would that put Colonel Sheppard at risk?"

"No, I don't think it would, but I do know that he's the sort that has accepted it as inevitable.  When it happens, he's ready, but until then he has things he has to do and people he has to protect."

"That doesn't lead to a very long life."

"From what I've been able to find out, the average lifespan for a hunter is about thirty-one."  She shuddered.  "That's starting in your college years or so.  He's been going since he was about sixteen, according to the rumors on him."  She gave him a horrified look.  "His former town had an apocalypse a year.  At the least.  He fought even when the girls around him put him down for it.  He has a horrifying taste for artillery."

"A good explosion cures most apocalypses," John said from behind them.  "Got any lotion, doc?  I need some for my shoulder.  It's peeling."

She found hers and tossed it over.  "We're worried he's going to compromise you or drag you into death with him," she said.

"Xander said he knows it happens but it won't happen yet.  When it's time he'll go down fighting."

"What will that do to you and your other spouse?" she asked.  She and Woolsey both looked at him.

"We know what it feels like when he's missing due to the time he was taken off-realm.  It was a dead spot then.  We'll grieve of course, but there's every chance it'll be an apocalypse so we'll be there with him."

"He's hunting alone," Woolsey told him.

"I heard that.  We don't like it but we know he'd hunt anyway because then there's less problems to try to date him."

"Which goes with the name they call him," Woolsey said.

"Oh, yeah, he's a classic white knight.  I agree with some things.  Slayers aren't enough and no one little girl should ever have the duty to fight that way.  It's a soldier's job.  Or guys like the Winchesters; those who got affected.  Xander's in both camps.  He started out a white knight, it took his best friend, so he helped.  Then later on he slowly became a soldier thanks to memories and on the job training."

"It can't be healthy for him," Doctor Keller said.

John looked at her.  "Doc, those of us who came out in the first year knew that we might find a new enemy out here, that there was little chance of us getting back home, and we may well die out there.  His outlook is the same way.  It's too important to not be done and it's got to be someone with special skills and/or training or they'll die faster."  He opened the lotion and poured some out, putting it on his shoulder.  "Yeah, they have to know more skills than the average soldier, though I think it should be mandatory for everyone to learn at least basic medic skills.  Half the time we're injured far away from the HQ and hospitals."  He tossed her back the bottle.  "The only difference between Xander and I is I get paid to risk my life and possibly die.  He doesn't."  He rolled his eyes.  "He said I have people like you who'd nag and he doesn't too."

"So you knew I called?"

"Yeah, he told me every single thing," he said, smirking at her.  "While he's not a doctor, he's damn good and you trying to put him down for it, don't.  Never again, doc."

"I understand the rationale behind it, but you could have called."

"Who said they weren't going to attack the hotel?" he countered.  "A few tried but Gunn's people got them."

"Gunn?" Woolsey asked.

"One of the LA team.  Before Angel moved there, Gunn had a street gang that was taking out some of the menaces, especially the vampires."

"There's a hunting street gang?" he asked, looking horrified.

"Yeah.  A lot of them got touched by it or had one take one of their own.  They formed for protection and to protect the others around them, especially those kids on the street who couldn't protect themselves.  Gunn works with a few teen shelters and the like."

"Oh, I never expected that."

"Street people would be a target," she said.  "No one pays much attention to population fluxes among them, they move constantly, and with the runaway issue there's an ever growing supply of victims."

"Which is how that restaurant in LA operated for so long," John agreed.  "The smart vampires hunt in a club environment; where you don't always have a buddy at your back or watching out for you.  You can disappear within minutes and no one might notice for hours.  Connor said some of the clans down there actually host raves so they can be choosy in their victims.  One or two an event to not get too much attention."

"Because you're hear rumors if people kept disappearing from clubs and raves," Woolsey said flatly.  John nodded.  "Is there any way to stop them for good?"

"Get every last one.  Which we never will.  That's a true never ending war.  Unless this series of apocalypses kills everyone then it's not a problem."

"How many do we know about?"

"We're theorizing at least three.  When they show up for the battle, the actual battle, and then the aftermath of the death or banishment might cause another one.  We've got people going around to all the other higher powers linked, stationed, or living on this plane to ask them to please have them take the fight off plane or something.  Mitchell wanted to send them to the Ori galaxy."  Keller moaned at that, shaking her head.

"They might take out all the Ori and priors," Woolsey said.  "But probably a lot of other people too."  He sat up straighter.  "Have the Ancients or any of the ascended said anything?  Or the Asgard?"

"The other night an ascended was highly amused but otherwise no.  They said we're playing dress up basically.  We got things set up to protect the city and the Mountain again.  Otherwise, no idea.  You'd have to ask O'Neill about the asgard, Woolsey.  Though I do know that they all freaked at the evidence of magic.  Including the Gou'ald queens we saw the last few days."

"Do they think it's heresy?"

"Oma nearly wet herself when Xander manifested a light.  Said that they considered it a myth and slightly evil.  She kept asking what Xander was but that was before we used the transporters to fix the demon taint that got brought forward by beaming."

"What is his position in all that mess?" Woolsey asked.

John smiled.  "Knight Protector of the new Council.  I'm the local Protectorate Head Knight.  Cam's the one for the Mountain."

"That's fine," Woolsey said.  "I found out why they wanted it stopped.  There's a small prophecy that states the Powers would be brought down."

"Yeah, they fled before then," he said dryly.  "When our marriage ended up being a plot of theirs to take out all the chosen and slayers.  They had no idea Xander was Xander and not his former friend Jesse.  Even the angel we ran into didn't know that he wasn't him."

"Why not?" she asked.

"So the only one paying any attention to him was the ones he was fighting?" Woolsey asked, looking amused.

"Yup, basically.  He's called a wild card because sometimes my husband's mind works in really strange ways."  He thought at Xander, who hummed and shifted off the thought of Hostess product sex again.  He sighed, shaking his head.  "He's letting twinkies do naughty things to him in his dreams again."

"I don't need to know," Woolsey complained.

Keller smiled.  "He's a sugar fiend?"

"Who bounces on it," John assured her.  "During the fight, he opened a can of Mountain Dew and the vampires we were dealing with nearly cried."  She giggled.  "He promised he'd eat some hohos too if they didn't cooperate and hand over the snaked ones."  She cackled.  "Yeah, he's bad on sugar but I like him anyway."  He shrugged.  "Better this than falling asleep in front of the Discovery channel and having dreams about wolf packs.  It would totally screw with the hyena he got possessed by way back when."  He walked off shaking his head.

The two 'adults' shared a look and shook their heads.  "He wasn't fully polite but I was going to yell at him," she admitted.

"He pinned me to a wall and growled at me," Woolsey said.  "But he did apologize after we got all that demon taint out of him." He stood up.  "I know when Harris was taken off realm, necessitating the rescue that took a month, it was a sudden snap of loss.  They couldn't feel him at all but he could still talk to Tony."

"I'd like to meet that husband, he sounds like he's the sane one."

"He's part of our program's NCIS liaison team."  He smirked.  "His boss doesn't like them talking either.  Claims it distracts his agent."

"I'd say having a telepathic bond in the back of your head constantly would," she agreed.  "I know now and then it distracted Sheppard to the point of making him cackle at something going on somewhere else."

"He considers it a great distraction from paperwork," he said dryly.  He walked out, going to think about the volatile step-soldier he had to deal with.  One who would probably not hesitate to take him out if it meant the good of Atlantis or his spouse.  He knew Xander probably wouldn't but for the good of the city and the new council, he might.  He had to decide which set of orders he was going to follow.  It was easier in the Pegasus galaxy.  The IOA was not happy and might take him and Colonel Sheppard out of their chairs if they kept being so unhappy.

Though, if the boy decided *they* were a threat to the city or his spouse again...  That might have benefit.  He'd have to approach the colonel in the morning.

The End, more to come sometime.

To Part 15

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