Watch the Willow Wiggle.
Xander woke up panting, looking around the house. He wasn't alone this morning. It was one of the rare visitations. He shoved Tony. "Make her stop."
"What?" he asked, still half asleep. He pulled Xander down to cuddle him. "Bad dream?"
"Willow visit. Make her stop! Before we end up killing me."
"Why would we kill you?" John grunted from behind them. "And what was with Willow last night?"
"That was her, not a dream," he said, starting to sound frantic again. He got cuddled harder by Tony. "We have to stop her. Now! Before I have to kill myself or you guys kill me!"
"It won't happen," John said, curling up behind him. "She can't do it."
"Do what?" Tony mumbled. He yawned into Xander's neck. "Damn, which one of us is that horny this morning."
"Xander," John said.
"Nah-uh. She's probably already trying. That's what all this is." He wiggled free and ran to the bathroom to lock himself inside.
John called Dean, Tony called Sam. "Stop her," they ordered then hung up. John looked at the bathroom door then at Tony. "Think we should save him?"
"No, let him panic. He was wiggling." Tony yawned again, pulling John closer to sleep on him.
"S'nice," John decided, letting himself drift off again. And if he saw Rosenburg this time, he was shooting her.
***
Dean hung up, looking across the room at Sam, who was doing the same thing. "Which her?" he asked.
"All I got was 'stop her'."
"Me too. I heard Tony say the same thing John told me too."
"Buffy?" Sam called, walking off to find her. She popped out of the library. "John and Tony are panicking, they called to order us to stop her. Are you doing anything?"
"No. Dawn's with me too, Faith too." She looked into the meeting. "Guys, Xander's boys called saying 'stop her'. Which one of us is doing something?" No one said anything. "Okay, anyone done any odd research or ran into any funky magical cults recently? They might still like him even if he is married."
"The book on Dionysian rituals was checked out along with the one to Cybelle," Dawn offered.
"Drunken revelry, cult of men worshiping a fertility goddess who castrated them," Sam said, considering it. "Who checked them out?"
"Willow asked me to send them to her for some light reading. She thought she saw something in there that might make everyone happy," Kennedy said.
"Call her," Buffy said. "Now, Kennedy. Stop her."
Kennedy sighed but called. "This is totally going over my minutes," she complained. "Willow, for some reason Xander's husbands called up to tell us to stop someone. We wanted to make sure that you weren't that someone. I know you're getting better. Is that Cordelia cackling?"
"Oh, god, please stop her," Sam moaned, holding his head. "Before someone ends up killing Xander."
Dawn helped him down onto a chair. "Dean!" she yelled. "He's having another vision!"
Dean came jogging in. "What now? New demon?"
"Yes, Willow's becoming one." He blinked up at him. "We have to stop her unless we want to be godparents to Xander's spawn that he'll be having."
"Oh hell no!" Dawn shouted, snatching the phone. "Hell no, Willow. Xander will kill you and if not, I will. Do not even think about it, woman!" She got hung up on. Dawn growled.
"Dawn," Buffy warned.
"Fuck no!" She stomped off to do something rash, slightly violent, and totally Xander like. Xander would be proud of what she was going to do. She even called the guys out there. "Tony, Dawn. Assure Xander she's not going to knock him up. Even if I have to turn back into an artifact, she's not going to knock him up." She hung up and found what she needed in the magic library.
***
Tony hung up, looking toward the bathroom. "Xander, Dawn said she's going to stop Willow from knocking you up," he called.
John blinked at him. "Excuse me?"
"That's Willow's thing apparently."
John grimaced. "Um, no. For that I'd kill her, not him. He'd be a victim."
"With mood swings," Tony reminded him. "And cravings."
"For that I might have him sedated, not kill him," John said through a yawn, drifting off again. He had one way of absolutely getting to her. He went to the astral plane. She was a huge power spike in it. He ran into Whistler. "Looking for Willow."
"She's over there," he said with a point. "She has Cordelia hostage."
"She's going to get her ass kicked for deciding we needed kids."
Whistler just looked at him. "I'm not going to touch that situation with a thousand foot pole, man." He walked off shaking his head. "Look for the dark gray light."
"Thanks." He found it and went to it, checking on her. She was explaining her plan. He kindly found her thread and yanked, hard, while manifesting his gun. She appeared, wobbling some, with his gun against her forehead. "Willow," he said with a smile. "Good morning."
"Um..." She tried to back off. He followed. "What are you doing?" she asked, starting to get frantic.
"I'm stopping a threat to the world, like I have many times before." He cocked the gun. "This way there's no more threat from you."
"I'm not a threat," she said frantically, trying to move again. She couldn't figure out how to get back to her body. "I promise I'm not a threat, John!"
"You're a threat to everyone and specifically Xander." She went pale. "So I'm going to make sure there's no more threat. Ever."
"I won't! I swear I won't! Please, John! I promise I won't hurt Xander! I'll never cast another spell near him! Not at all! Please!" She winced and hissed as a huge explosion went off, knocking her to her knees. "Dawn, no!" she moaned, holding her stomach. "C'mon!"
He snorted. "Yeah, we've heard that before. Unfortunately you're unable to get past the addiction problem you have, Willow Rosenburg. You're a threat to my security, the world's security, and everyone's lives. That can't be allowed to go on."
Cordelia appeared brushing lint off her and fluffing her hair with her hands. "Okay, now that I'm back and no longer trapped in England." She looked at what was going on. "I should probably complain. John, we need her."
"No we don't. We can use multiple witches to make up for her being on the wrong side."
Cordelia pinched him on the cheek. "I know, seeing him that way would be freakish but she never completed the spell. It can't happen. You can't kill her up here anyway," she realized. He smirked and shot Willow in the knee, making her scream and roll around on the ground. "Huh."
"The next one's in the brain," he assured her. "Which means your body will be comatose until the slow death takes it." He stared the errant witch down. "Don't threaten anyone ever again. Or I'll make the burning that the other hunters want to do to you look like a happy, pleasant, orgasmic event." She nodded, still crying and holding her damaged knee. "Good. I'm glad we understand each other."
Cordelia pulled up Xander, who looked around. "I can't get pregnant up here, right?"
"Nope," she said. "She never finished the spell. She made you want to mate but not opened up all that you'd need."
"Good!" He looked at Willow rolling around then snorted. "Damn, you didn't save me any." He took the gun and pointed it at her heart. "Willow, I hate to do this, but it's my job to take out the Scoobies or slayers that go dark."
"Xander, I was trying to help you, make you happier!" she begged.
"I might believe that but I doubt it." He stared down at her. "I'd let Buffy do it but we all know she won't be able to. Dawn either. Faith shouldn't. So that leaves...me. No matter how much I'd hate it. I ... I can't let you go on this way. We gave you every chance to straighten out, Willow. Every single one since that day on the cliff. Since the memory spell. You're still going to the wrong side. We can't let you threaten the slayers. We can't let you threaten the normals. I can't let you do that. Even if I do love you like my sister."
"Xander, let me," John said, taking the gun. "You don't have to." He gave him a kiss. "I promise, if they go bad, you won't have to hunt them." Xander gave him a hug. "I understand." He glared at Willow, pointing the gun at her. "Time's up." She shrieked and tried to move, casting magic shields in front of her to stop them. Then she ended up back in her body, her knee in agony. John looked at the spirit next to him. "Gee, thanks."
"Next time," she said with a smirk. "We need her next year for the apocalypse." Xander looked at her. "Really. I do know all now."
Xander shrugged. "Ask Dawn."
"Huh?" she asked.
"Cordy, what's Dawn?"
"The same sort of blank spot you are," she said dryly.
"Okay, you remember the stuff where Buffy died?" She nodded, looking smug. "Why?"
"A hell goddess who was going after a mystical artifact that was made human and of her."
"Dawn," he agreed.
She gaped. "Really?" He nodded. "Can she do magic?"
"Yup. Slightly. She's focusing on the watcher stuff instead."
"Huh. Maybe her and the Devon coven, or even the LA coven since they've been growing."
"I heard about one in Lancaster, PA," Xander offered. "Very strong, like Tara."
"I'll check into that. Still can't kill her this time. She didn't complete the spell. If she had.... Then I'd have popcorn while you killed her. Because that's just...wrong. Shoo, go mate or whatever." She sent them back to their bodies. She went to their meeting area. "I'm free."
"Congratulations," Whistler said. "Think she learned?"
"I have no clue but next year's going to be bad."
"Hell." He moved closer to the board to look at that event. "Yeah, we'll need some major witches."
"Have you seen Dawn? Buffy's sister?"
"The Key, yeah." She glared at him. He just smirked back. "Power, but no control."
"Think there's a few covens who can integrate her?"
"Yup. We can look into that as an alternate method."
"Xander mentioned Lancaster, PA."
"They're a good coven. LA's is a powerful one too." They settled in to go over their various white light covens. Willow might not make it that long. Whistler blinked, looking up. "Huh, Dawn is pretty powerful. She just bound Rosenburg to do no harm." Cordelia cackled, swatting him on the arm. He smirked back. "Yeah, that'll help."
***
Dawn walked out looking more calm, smiling at Sam and Dean and Buffy when she joined them. "I bound Willow from doing more harm, like capturing Cordelia to brag or knocking Xander up." Dean shuddered. "For some reason I felt a psychic related injury on her as well."
"Was she in her body when you did it?" Sam asked.
"Barely. She had been astral traveling I think."
"An injury there would show up in her real body," Sam said.
"Hmm. Cool. I'll remember that and not go there." She looked at Buffy. "We need an anti-Willow. It's not me. I don't like magic that much."
"I can agree that it shouldn't be you. You have a lot of power." She gave her a hug. "Thank you."
"Welcome." She smiled at the boys. "Hate to tell you this, but got a head's up while I was working from Cordelia. She and Whistler were talking about next year's apocalypse and which coven could help."
"Aw, crap. Again?" Dawn nodded. "How soon?"
"Next year."
"At least we have time to figure out what it is," Buffy sighed.
Dawn looked up. "Cordelia, since you showed me that, any hints?"
Whistler appeared, looking at her then at Dean. "Time to repay the favor. Someone needs the Key to power their plans to merge realms." He smirked as he faded off.
"He does dress worse than Xander," Dean decided. Buffy snickered and nodded. She had told him that. "Okay. So, this key?"
Dawn raised her hand. "Me."
Sam stared at her. "Huh?"
Buffy walked them into a private room to tell them what had happened. They'd do good watching out for Dawn if something happened to her. She and Sam were too much alike some days.
***
John woke up, blinking at Tony. Then at the bathroom. "Xander? It's safe." He peeked out. "I won't pounce. C'mon." He padded over and crawled in again, against Tony. John smirked. "Fine, you cuddle him."
Tony gave him a squeeze. "He smells good. Did you shower?"
"No, Rosenburg sent him into heat," John said dryly. "With the end intent of knocking him up. She never finished the spell. So he's just in heat."
"Hmm. Could be interesting," Tony decided, kissing their younger husband. Xander blinked at him. "Feeling a bit warm?" he teased.
"Yeah but I don't want to end up that way."
John took his own kiss. "Cordelia said it was never completed. You're only in heat."
Xander relented. "Okay." They smirked and put him between them. It was going to be a good morning. Muffin barked but then left them alone. "Morning to you too, Muffin. Let Daddies play and then we'll play with you." She went back to guarding the daddies while they did silly human things. It'd let her bark at the mailman when he showed up or the neighbor's dirty little mutt that kept trying to sniff her elegant tail. She swore the mutt was part demon.
John pushed Xander onto his back, looking down at him. "So, how warm are you?" he teased. One hand traced up the younger man's stomach, making him wiggle and twitch. "Very warm or just getting there?"
Tony sniffed his neck. "He smells very warm to me. Kinda sweaty and ready to be pounced."
"Pouncing is nice," Xander agreed, wiggling under them. "I could like pouncing."
"Pouncing him means that we won't be sore tomorrow," John agreed smugly. Tony laughed and nodded. John had a short commute, Tony had to get across the country by plane.
"I could like being able to sit later on." He took his own kiss from John, then Xander. "Think we should play nicely or not this time?"
"I don't think Xander's going to do more than beg," John said smugly.
"If I'm going to beg, we might want to get started soon or I'm going to nap again. I love this bed, I always sleep whenever I'm on it," Xander quipped.
"That's because someone poured a sleeping potion over it," John said dryly. He took a deep, moan-inducing kiss. Xander was definitely with that. This heat thing might be pretty nice.
Tony moved down to tease him, making Xander wiggle more. John possessively rolled Xander toward him but it did give Tony total access to a whole new playing field. Especially since his back was so sensitive. Yeah, he could definitely like this side of Xander. And hey, he knew where the lube was so he could start working their boy over to make him ready for later fun and games.
John moved down to tease and play with Xander's neck. Xander was liking this attention. One of his hands was on their husband's cock, making him an extra happy boy. So happy he was going to wiggle them off the bed. John pinned him down, moving down to tease the hard cock. Xander was moaning. Tony was moaning too. John smirked at him. "Xander, Tony's not being played with." Xander pulled Tony up to kiss, touch, and suck on him. Tony was just as happy with Xander's mouth as Xander was with John's mouth. Tony's moans were deeper and more drawn out. "Please him, Xander," John whispered in his ear. "He never gets you. Then I'll have you both."
Xander shifted to get his more distant husband. Tony let him settle on top so he could suck his cock for him. Tony's hand came down to make Xander go deeper. He knew not to pull his hair but he loved to have Xander go down on him. John still scraped his teeth now and then. Tony himself wasn't that good at it. Xander was made to belong to a husband that would spoil him. As proven by him having very good breath control. Tony whined but Xander had to come back up to breathe. Then he went back down.
"Oh, that's sweet looking," John said. He checked Xander's ass. It was loose enough. Not greatly but enough. It was tight enough for a lot of friction. Not that Xander's ass didn't seem to suck you in and squeeze you enough that you had to come quickly. Sometime soon he'd have to get Xander into the mood for a good, long, hard ride. Maybe if Tony got him off first he could do that today? Tony rolled them over, riding Xander's face for a few minutes before moving backward. Xander whined, making Tony flip around to give him his cock while he got sucked. John worked a few fingers into Tony's ass, making Xander happier. He shifted up, helping by adding his tongue.
Tony yelped. "Xander!" Xander only hummed, helping John play with him. "Oh, damn!" He was wiggling and pushing back. "Oh, guys!"
Xander pulled back to let John finger him while he played with his balls, nuzzling and sucking on one before going back to the hard cock. "More?" he begged into the soft skin. Tony moaned, going back to it. Xander was a happy boy. Tony eventually got off him, making him complain. "Tony!"
"Shh," John whispered in his ear. "It's going to get better."
"Much better," Tony agreed, sliding into Xander's body. Xander arched up, putting his legs on Tony's shoulders. Tony got settled and moved quickly, hard and fast, making Xander bounce on him. Xander was having a good time. It was clear that Xander was going to come soonish. Tony finally slammed into him, coming hard. Xander whined but Tony got him off by hand, making Xander go limp underneath him. Tony smiled, taking a kiss. "Miss this when I'm on the other coast."
"If we could get your team transferred we'd all be happier," John agreed. He took his own kiss. "My turn." Xander moaned. Tony moaned, getting out of the way. It had been a good show. Now, it was really his turn. Xander was still feeling needy. He started with a simple kiss. Xander probably wanted him to start off right in the act but he wanted to work him up again. Xander let him do whatever he wanted while touching and stroking him. Tony was watching, finishing his calming down time. Tony was more about quantity than quality. He was much for quality over quantity.
"I do so like to have longer times," Tony complained, hearing that thought.
"Guys, you each have your specialities," Xander said to break up the fight. "I don't expect both of you to like the same things. Tony can toss me against the fridge and have me but John likes to make me scream and beg first. It's all good."
John smirked at Tony. "See, he's very wise for his age."
"Uh-huh. I do like taking longer with you but I never have the time."
John shrugged. "I'd rather throw him on the table. Convenient height." Xander snickered. John got back to him, making him a happier boy. And hey, looks like Xander wouldn't be upset at a long, hard ride this time. Xander pulled him up to kiss him again, making him happier. He was a very happy boy and Xander's body was going to show that. Xander's cock was starting to come back up. His wiggling in eagerness was starting too. John pinned him down and did what he wanted, which was driving Xander insane. He did so love it when his husband squealed and flailed.
Xander never minded it when he worked him over. It made them both happy. So happy that when he finally gave up driving him mad and slid into him, Xander would only moan up at him. He got what he wanted, which was a long, hard ride that was banging the bed against the wall. Muffin barked a few times but Tony calmed her down. He flipped Xander over, watching him clutch the sheets instead of John's arms. Those claw marks were going to show for days.
John went back to pounding into Xander, hands roaming, pulling Xander's head back so he could get to his neck to bite, suck, and lick those tender spots, a few bites on his shoulder, a long mark sucked onto the back of his neck, all the time pounding into him. Xander finally came and went limp but John turned him onto his side to have him that way, making it a cuddle and sex. It gave him plenty of access to play with his front too. Tony was moaning and helping by sucking on Xander for him. John got to tease his nipples and throat some more.
Xander squeezed, making John thrust harder. "C'mon, John, I know you want to come," he begged hoarsely.
"I will. After you do again," he panted. Xander got on top and sucked on Tony for a bit while riding him. That way John could take a short rest on his back. Xander was fully coming back and John was very happy. So happy he was nearly ready to come. "Xander," he gasped.
Xander grinned, doing his best to get John off. Wiggling in certain ways that drove him mad, shifting Tony so John could watch him suck and finger him better. John growled and pulled Xander down to kiss him. He flipped them back over, going back to doing a lot of the work. "Tony, get on top of him," he panted. Tony moaned but did it. It was going to be a short ride getting Xander off again. Xander whined as Tony slid down him but it was so good. Very pretty.
It meant he got to play with Tony's cock while he rode Xander into a long nap. Well, they'd all be taking a nap he guessed. He finally got Xander off, making him howl and scratch up Tony a bit. Tony came with a moan at that feeling. John smirked, slamming in once, twice, three, four, five, six times, then having to ride out his own orgasm into the twitching hole. He nearly collapsed against Tony's back, but Xander wiggled free and got them laying down with John in the middle this time. It was nice. John kissed him then Tony. "That was fantastic," John moaned.
"Thank you," Xander said, cuddling him.
"Hmm, very good," Tony agreed, yawning into John's sweaty hair. "We need showers."
"Later," John ordered. "Can't move yet." Xander grinned. Muffin barked. "Leave the mailman alone, Muffin," he called. The mail slot moved. "Thank you!" The dog came padding in with the mail, dropping it beside the bed. "Good girl." She hopped up and snuffled them then curled up behind Tony's back. John grinned. "She's a very helpful dog."
"Yes she is. She's a good girl." Muffin licked him but let him drift off.
Xander grinned once his boys were asleep. He was wired now. He waited until he wasn't tired then got up to shower, put on clothes, and take his dog for a run. Muffin enjoyed that more than listening to them having sex. It was her happy time. His would be later when John and Tony decided to argue machoness and see who got him next. And hey, that table thing sounded pretty cool. Not like they ate at a table. It wasn't being used for anything else. Yeah, that could be fun. It was a very sturdy table too. Which was good with the mood John was in.
***
John called the general that night. "Tony missed his flight," he said quietly. "Please?" He grinned because the guy knew what he was thinking. "Thanks. DC. That might work. The shipyard isn't that far by cab. Thanks, man." He hung up. O'Neill understood perfectly what he wanted to do. It'd mean no sitting on a sore ass for six hours across the country. So he could make both his boys sore.
***
Tony appeared, coffee cup still in hand and warm. "Huh," he said, staring at his coffee John had made sure he had then at the man in front of him. "General. Thank you."
"Welcome, DiNozzo. You boys okay?" He looked him over. He was immaculate as usual but he had that tired 'shore leave with the wife' look on his face. "Have fun with Gibbs. You guys pulled a case this weekend at the Pentagon. He's snarling at the higher ups."
"They here or there?"
"Here, three floors down. East wing."
"Thanks. And for the lack of flying."
Jack smirked. "Been there, done that after a weekend with the wife, DiNozzo."
Tony smirked. "Xander's not exactly a wife but he won't be working on a forge today." He walked out, sipping his coffee on the way down to where the case was. "Hey, boss, what's my assignment?" he asked when he spotted him.
Gibbs stared at him. "You came from the airport?"
"No, John arranged for transport." He took another sip, letting Gibbs steal his coffee from him. "What's the what... I mean what's going on?"
"Brain warping from the spouse?" McGee teased with a smirk.
"Definitely." He looked at the body. "First or most recent?"
"Second and most recent," Gibbs admitted. "Looks like a suicide but may not be."
"Yeah, because that's a needle mark on his neck, boss." He squatted down to move the hair, pointing at it. "That's definitely a needle mark. Ducky?"
He looked over on that side. "That is it." He smiled. "Good to have you back."
"My brain's in high gear today," he said with a grin. "Xander makes really good coffee."
Gibbs shook his head. "Too sweet for me."
"The coffee?" McGee asked. "Or him?"
"Both." Tony took the rest of his coffee back to finish off and got to work looking around the desk for things that might indicate it wasn't a suicide beyond the needle mark.
***
"Is that a rash?" Ronon asked, looking at John's arms Monday morning.
"No. Scratches."
"Hmm, the dog play too hard?" he asked.
"Not really. We did roughhouse a bit though." He grinned.
Wooley looked at him as he walked in. "You can walk today, thank you."
"It's never my intention to be in that bad of shape, Woolsey."
"I was married once, Sheppard. It was a long time ago so I was about as young as you are." He gave him a pointed look then at his arms. "You need to trim the dog's claws."
"Yeah, but I did that yesterday night." He shrugged. "Okay, meeting over training?"
"The DDR system is very loud. Is that really training? I don't mind fun but it's annoying."
"It does build endurance," John told him. "To get through all the levels in the same game you need fantastic endurance. Xander can only get two/thirds of the way in one go."
"I see. That could be helpful."
"Going through all the levels takes more stamina than a ten mile run," Ronon told him.
Woolsey nodded. "Then that's very beneficial. Do we need them that loud?"
"The video games seem more immersive if they're life-like sounding," John admitted. "I'll post a note saying to turn it down so people aren't disturbed eating."
"Thank you. How is training going?"
"Pretty decent. The new modules are being learned. The teams that needed the most work on things like assault procedure are doing good. Team togetherness is at an all time high. Boredom seems to have gone down some. The resentment has been cropping up but I did let it slip that we're looking at off-base housing for families so it might be possible to move families and/or spouses closer. Someone told me that they still wouldn't get the time off base I would and I pointed out they'd have to apply for a weekend pass and it was possible as long as we weren't overloaded with whatever was going on. He said he'd think about that if he could convince his wife to move out here."
"That would be more than acceptable. If their families moved out here, within the three hour radius should be good because I know housing is atrocious in the city, then I'd allow weekend family passes," Woolsey agreed. "That would let us use other base's housing since the two we looked at were nearly falling in."
John grimaced but nodded. "There's a few locally. Coast guard mostly, a recruitment center, the DOD/Homeland block. A corporation that's somehow named a military base?"
"I saw that when I googled it," Rodney admitted. "I have no idea what they do beyond laser applications. They are on an island."
Woolsey nodded. "I'm going to be talking later with Landry and the higher ups about those situations. The Coast Guard base locally has some off-duty housing but I'm not sure how much."
"There's something in Alameda itself," John offered. "But I have no idea what it is. I drove past there on Sunday night. I couldn't tell." That note got made. "We might be able to do that. It's on the bay. If we had to we can move the external meeting area over there and let the guys go that way. Cheaper housing on that side anyway. Even if Oakland is nearby."
"That's reasonable," Woolsey decided. "We're going to be teleconferencing with the Joint Chiefs who know about the project. We have no idea at the moment. If so, I will definitely be allowing weekend family passes."
"We have one of the science corps that's from here," John said, looking at Rodney. "Doesn't he go home?"
"He's mad that his mother's nagging. Came back the last time complaining for days about it. He hasn't asked. What about day passes?"
"Agreed," Woolsey said. "Landry agreed with us. No more than ten to fifteen percent off base at a time so nothing is unmanned in case we have a disaster or an earthquake."
"That's something I forgot to plan for," Rodney admitted, making that note for himself. "I need to make sure our supply areas are safe in case of one so nothing harmful tips."
The head of supply nodded. "So did I. Will the water cushion it?"
McKay considered it. "I don't know. I'll run that hypothesis past our water people." The other man nodded and smiled. "What about your pregnant person? If she's delivering I'll need to order more medical supplies or we need another medical team. Our second-in-command is in the brig for recalibrating the shields to catch Sheppard. Our primary is still in stasis until we can find a way to save him. Keller is off on medical leave for a sprained back. We have one other doctor and she's a research person instead of a physical, hands on doctor."
"I'll mention that later as well," Woolsey asked. "Is she in the brig here?"
"Transferred her back later that night," John said. "She calibrated it to disclude anyone who had been exposed to radiation or other genetic patterns." Woolsey shook his head with a sigh. "On purpose to stop Xander from coming on base."
"How much does he know?" Woolsey asked him.
"Beyond what he's seen from my head that I didn't know he saw? I don't know. We don't talk about it. Tony doesn't know and he can't read me like Xander can."
"Is that a gift of his?" Rodney asked. "Like the visions?"
"Xander said he's always been able to get information I wasn't even thinking about during dream talks. I think it was where we were first taught to dream walk; Xander and I ended up merged for a second when we both got up there. That's what set off the aunts too. He basically fell into me and then climbed out."
"How does dream walking work?" Woolsey asked.
"It's like guided meditation where you're joined with a few others on their own guided meditation. We all meet in this little cloud room. To one standing in it, the others all appear as a darker, almost spongy spot that echos what they're thinking until they show up. With more work you can go astral walking. That's more fun. Xander needs a nudge to get up there most of the time. I can go straight there. You can find others who're connected to it and talk to them that way."
"That's how you got to Jackson before Sunnydale fell in," Rodney realized. John smirked and nodded. "Why him?"
"As the theory goes, according to Cordelia, once ascended, always partially ascended."
"So he's a bigger link up there, you could get to him," Rodney said, staring at him. John nodded. "That's handy to know."
"Also, not much can block the link. Someone tried to drug Tony and it came through fairly easily. We both called his teammates to let them know he had been out and gotten drugged. Gibbs was not happy."
"I doubt I'd be happy either," Woolsey admitted. "So nothing can block it?"
"Xander thinks there's a way to magically block it temporarily. Willow was babbling something about it but he hasn't really looked into it. All her research stuff is being sent to Dawn Summers because she screwed up majorly again this weekend from England."
"How bad?" Rodney asked. "She's known to be a rogue witch who works with the slayers, right?"
"She has a magic addiction. The power gives her a rush she's liking too much," he said.
"Like the sarcophagus can," he decided. John nodded. "That's her problem?"
"She was getting clean then her girlfriend, who was as close to her as Xander and I are without the link, was killed next to her. She went full black magic. It's another thing hooking her. As Xander puts it, she has a blind spot to her addiction. She's moved far enough that she thinks magic can cure and do anything so she doesn't have to. She got to the point of changing clothes with magic at one point in time. Now she's not seeing that magic has consequences. This last weekend she tried to knock Xander up." Rodney gave him a horrified look. "By the way, astral injuries do carry over. She'll limp for life since I shot her in the knee. The next time, she knows she's gone."
"Why would that be addicting?" the head of supply asked.
"The rush it gives you. The feeling of power running through your veins. From what I understand you get that same burning then pleasure sensation you get when you drink a glass of really good scotch or whiskey, only you get it all over your body."
"So it's like an alcoholic, and she's not seeing that the problem is creating this blind spot?"
"She's warped it so she believes that whatever she does is helping. That it'd make others happy. She doesn't see that it's costing her things and friendships or that it's hurting because the power likes to be used and she's really powerful. That time I had to take off suddenly due to Xander being injured," he said, looking at Rodney again. "She had just tried to end the world when her girlfriend had died. She hit Xander with seven bolts of pure black magic and it nearly killed him. If we hadn't gotten it out of him then he would've died of the liver failure since two of it hit there, or of magic poisoning."
"That's very dangerous," Woolsey said. "Those military people who claim Wicca, can do they do that?"
"There's different religions in magic. All sorts of different thoughts. That's just one of them. It leans heavily on some of the ancient Celtic and Druid beliefs but not totally. Some of them only follow the faith while some do have the inner reserves, focus, and stubbornness to make magic work for them. In ways it's like a bloodline gift. You have to have the gift before it can manifest but if you have it and don't train it you can't use it. If you do train it, depending on your level of strength it can be astounding or very simple. And some who have power have no desire to do the harder things unless necessary or magic isn't their thing."
"So some of those faith healers might actually have this sort of gift and be using it that way, unknowing or not," Woolsey said.
"Possibly. Never talked to any of them and they'd freak at the mention of gifts."
"True. So the ones in the military?"
"Maybe. Not sure. Never really talked to any of them about it. I'm a 'to each their own' sort. I know what's out there, have since before I went to Afghanistan, about six months before really. I figure if they're using it and doing so responsibly, which is a major tenet of Wicca with 'first do no harm', then it's not my job to watch over their shoulders. If they step out of line and start hurting people then I'm there. It'd be my duty."
Woolsey nodded. "Do we have any here?"
"We have one who subscribes more to the ancient Norse ways than not. He came from the main base and even knowing that Asgards are what they are he still believes. Again, to each their own. Xander's ex was actually Norse and I'm not sure if she knew that fact or not."
"She was what?" Rodney asked.
"She spent just over eleven hundred years as a vengeance demon," John said dryly. "She was Norse."
"Oh." He considered that. "No wonder she was so odd."
"Yeah, she was a bit odd. But then again, if you look at it, money and sex were driving factors back then not just in modern days. Her complaining about them loudly in public was probably from her time as a demon."
Rodney shuddered. "If I ever get involved with one of them, let me know and help me find a way to extricate myself without harm?"
"Of course. We'll have Xander talk to her." He smirked. "Anya kept in touch with some of them."
"Good to know," he decided. "How is he?"
"Napping."
Rodney smirked. "Dog tire him out?"
"Dinner last night wore him out and we played all weekend long. Set up more things so I have something to do there outside of watching him stretch, workout, or work on the forge. If you guys are off-base at the same time, you can come up for a cookout. We don't mind."
"I'll let them know. Teyla's missing the dog."
"She's very sweet. Barks at the new half-demon mailman and the neighbor's mutt for trying to get too friendly."
"That dog is very odd."
"Very helpful though. She spotted a lot of the stuff Jackson and Xander weeded out of Anya's former stuff that had a demon taint. She guarded it very well so nothing ate Daniel."
"We could use that here in case any more show up," the head of supply said dryly. "Speaking of, we have two water demons creating a nest under us?"
John looked at him. "Peacefully?"
"I got sent to talk to them with Teyla," Rodney admitted. "They only needed a nesting spot. They're under one of the underwater spires. They'll move on once her eggs hatch. They're not causing any damage and those mermen weren't going to come near her. They won't come near a nest. It solved a few problems."
"That's cool. As long as she's peaceful." Woolsey stared at him. "There's plenty of peaceful species."
"Is there any sort of identification manual?"
"Many books that have many species. Just an outright guide? No. I think someone's working on one for the new slayers. Cleveland's library is bigger than our combined armories and the gate room in area."
"Hmm." He nodded. "If they do can you get us a copy?"
"Sure." He sent that at Xander, who mumbled back to ask Sam, he was working on it. "Xander said Sam Winchester's working on it."
"Good. When he gets it done let me know please." He made that note for himself so he wouldn't forget. It could be an asset to the program. "Let's break this up so I can call that conference." They left.
***
John looked at the disgruntled guard stomping in a few minutes later. "What's wrong?"
"Families get first pick of the new off-base housing."
John nodded. "Because the kids would need their second parent. How many does that leave short?"
"Twelve or so."
"The current rule for day passes and weekend passes is a three hour journey in normal traffic." The guy stared at him. John stared back. "If they were to move closer, that would be an option. Even without base housing and some won't want it because of all the rules. Even if it is cheaper."
The guard nodded. "What about other bases?"
"You'd have to clear that with Woolsey and Landry I think. They were talking about that being an option or the other facilities we have around town."
"So, normal traffic, three hours, that's a lot of area." He considered it. "If my wife could get transferred out this way...."
"Exactly," he agreed with a grin. "Then you would be more than welcome to apply for weekend leave and day passes to see her."
"Thanks, Sheppard. Some of us thought you got perks."
"Mine lives about a half-hour away. Plus I've been working on the shielding stuff again. Xander snores mentally when he's asleep." The guy laughed, walking off shaking his head. He went to check with Woolsey. "I told him about the three hour rule."
"If they want to move closer on their own, that's more than acceptable," he agreed. "That does cover a lot of area."
"That's what I told him." He leaned on the doorframe. "How many will that include?"
"About half the disgruntled population," he admitted dryly.
"Even better. I'll have someone figure that out on a map for them." He went to find someone to do that. The guy who was local should know. "Find a map, mark the three-hour travel radius on it for those who have families. That's the limit for day and weekend passes for family visits and causal time off."
"Why me?"
"You're a local."
"Good point." He moved to his computer to find a good map so he could mark that. He had been to most of the local towns for one reason or another over the years. He knew how hellish traffic could be at times. He marked that as well. The line shrunk considerably during heavy traffic hours. He went to post it in the lounge area. "Sheppard said to mark off the three-hour mark for you guys. The inner circle is three hours in heavy traffic." The ones in there nodded. "For families to move into so we can get weekend passes, guys." They got up to examine it. Most of them had families, even if they were just parents or siblings. He went back to his actual job. His family lived outside of it. He could escape the nagging!
Sheppard caught him smirking on his way back from the caf for coffee. "Your family home is how far outside the three hours?"
"About an hour," he said smugly.
"If you make your mother cry on us we're shipping you there," he warned, taking a sip. The guy grumbled but was still smiling. "Three hours in case of emergencies. I'm sure you know shortcuts."
"Of course. If I take one of the back roads I can make it in two and a half." He walked off still happy enough.
Rodney stopped him. "You're from this water-drenched area of mosquitoes, right?"
"Yes I am, Doctor McKay. Within a few hours."
"Will we have problems if there's an earthquake?"
"The water does move from the pictures I've seen and it can cause waves, including mini tsunami ones according to the news. I don't think we'd have to worry about the actual shaking as much as we would the waves."
"Good! I've planned for that and the question got asked but our hydro people had no idea." He walked off happier with that. They'd prepare just in case but it'd be fine.
The guy shook his head. Scientists were strange sometimes. Even after all the time he'd spent here.
"Xander suggested we make somewhere like that show," John joked with a grin from his spot up the hall.
"Eureka?" he asked. John nodded. "I can see our scientists blowing up the town and creating apocalypses like they did," he said dryly. He went to write his mother an email. That way he'd have some more sanity in his life. Maybe the nagging wasn't so bad after all.
John finished his trek back to his office. "Show?" Woolsey asked.
John paused, looking at him. "Spying?" he joked.
"No. We had a glitch in camera twelve. We had to redirect it and caught that mention."
"I've got the files from Xander so I can watch it. I'll copy a set for you." He went to do that. Woolsey would be amused. He could use the amusement. He was turning bitter again.
Woolsey settled in to watch it. Really, the concept wasn't too bad but it probably wasn't doable at the moment. He did send that suggestion to the generals. It had been made and it wasn't a bad idea. Not like they could keep Atlantis in the bay forever. Maybe after Sheppard retired so they wouldn't have to deal with Xander and Tony?
***
O'Neill read his email instead of going to a meeting he didn't want to go to, looking that show up online. There were episodes on the website of the station that showed it so he caught a few, giggling through most of it. Yeah, he could see that for Atlantis. And hey, they'd have a good police force with DiNozzo, Harris, and DiNozzo's team.
Even if it was slightly insane. He was bored!
***
Landry looked up the show, finding what it was about. He'd heard that suggestion from Carter. It ... might work. But it'd take a long time to do it. They'd have to set it up so the main base was included. He sent that to O'Neill. It wasn't hockey season, he hated paperwork so it wasn't getting done by him, and he was in DC so he could suggest it easier. It'd cure his boredom for a bit and they did have to figure out a permanent placement for Atlantis.
That let him get back to chewing out people for causing more problems in the universe. How Mitchell and Carter had turned a bottle of tequila into an intergalactic incident he wasn't sure. Hopefully it wouldn't happen again!
***
Xander curled up on his couch, yawning a lot. He was still tired. The dog was tired. "Nap?" he asked his dog.
The dog stared at him, then hopped up beside him. He stared outside then at him.
"I know, I should be working but I don't have anything specific I have to do outside practice stuff. We can nap." Muffin wagged her tail, curling up on top of the daddy's chest when he laid down. He didn't wiggle on the couch so it was more comfortable for them both. Xander petted her, letting himself fall asleep. It was a good day for a nap. A bit coolish with the winds and the expected rain. The sun was at a good angle so it wasn't bothering them. And hey, the demons that took them once they were asleep weren't going to be mean to them. He hoped.
TBC...